Im Reading Through All The Text Messages In The Last Year Because I'm Trying To Find Something Specific.

Im reading through all the text messages in the last year because I'm trying to find something specific. I have a year's worth as I purchased a new phone around the new year in 2017.

If he wasn't telling me to buy something for him, he was telling me how awful I am. There is basically no other content. For an entire year.

Voicemail received 2:31am

  Transcript:

{My name},

I..... apologize for trying to reach you as much as I have.  What I wanted to say to you I figured you wanted to hear.... So.... that being said from tonight on I won’t call you anymore.  If you get this message and you want to know what it was..... call me....Thank you.

I want to call.  But I won’t.

Voicemail received 2:31am

  Transcript:

{My name},

I….. apologize for trying to reach you as much as I have.  What I wanted to say to you I figured you wanted to hear…. So…. that being said from tonight on I won’t call you anymore.  If you get this message and you want to know what it was….. call me….Thank you.

Before you pass judgment on one who is self destructing….❤️

Never going there again.

It was bound to fucking happen living in the same neighbourhood.

Went out for dinner with my folks. He and i used to be regulars at this place. On the way out the owner, who knew us, asked me "Where's your other half?" Can't say I wasn't taken aback by the nerve of his question. As if it would be any of his fucking business.

"I don't have another half. It's just me."

"I know," he said, "because he just walked in here, took one look at you, said 'oh nevermind' and walked out."

I know he would have seen my parents' car walking in. I am suspicious it was no 'accident' and he just lost his nerve. I didn't see him but I still can't breathe.

Fuckfuckfuckfuck.

Please stop.

I haven't been mentioning it because I've just been hoping it goes away. Looks like it won't.

He's been calling me every day without fail. Often multiple times a day. Today it's hit a new level. He got a new phone number and he's sending me cryptic messages hoping i answer ( i run a small side business, strangers text me occasionally if a friend refers them).

I have not responded to him in 12 weeks. Not a call, not an email, not a text. I have never said "Don't call me", but I feel I've been clear. And I'm losing it every time he calls. This phone change is another escalation. Is he just going to keep doing this?

Before you ask, he's violent and he knows where I live. This may be a false sense of security, but keeping the communication open lets me keep a guage his level of rage.

I don't know what to do.