Harry Potter Masterlist

Harry Potter Masterlist

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- Sucker for you

- The Happily Ever After

- Idiot

- Everything Has Changed

- All Too Well

- In Another Life

- Holding On & Letting Go

- Mine

- Tell Me Your Secrets

- Wolf and All

- Red

- Midnight Rain

- The Weight of the World

- Making the Change From Friends to Lovers

- I Thought I’d Lost You

Marvel Masterlist

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- Secrets & Sleepovers

- ‘tis the damn season

- The Moment I Knew

- Stay, Stay, Stay

- The Last Time

- Catch Me

- Trust Your Senses

- You've Got This

- See You Again

- The Story of Us

- Teardrops on my Guitar

- Last Kiss

- Golden Cage is still a Cage

- Best Lazy Day Ever

- Coldness & Cuddles

- Finding Your Way Back (Part One)

- Finding Your Way Back (Part Two)

- We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together

- Finding Our Way Back

- Innocent

- Timeless

- My Devil, My Shadow

- Again and Again

- Stitches & Shivers

- I'll Always Find You

- Always

- Lucky

- evermore

- Sparks Fly

-  Look How Far We’ve Come

- Safe in Your Arms

- Everyone Deserves A Second Chance

- Love Story

- I Can’t Lose You Again (Part One)

- I Can’t Lose You Again (Part Two)

- I Knew You Were Trouble

- Speak Now

- Nurse Parker Makes Everything Better 

- Medicated 

- Home at Last

- One Life for the Two of Us, Mr Stark

- New Year’s Day

- He Was A Hero

- No Way Home

- I Gotchu

- Not Getting Rid of Me

- The Only Thing I Care About

- No Promises

- What Are Neighbours For?

- I See You in My Dreams

- I’ve Been Waiting For You

- The Terrible Talk

- Moment in Time 

- You Look Like a Museum to Me

- August

- Wherever We Want

- Candy & Cuddles

- Give a Little Whistle 

- Exam Day Stress

- Enchanted To Meet You

- Girls Like You

Come Back...Be Here

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Click here for Red (Taylor’s Version) masterlist

Add yourself to my taglist.

Prompt - ‘But you're in London and I break down 'cause it's not fair that you're not around.’

You and Emily had never gotten along. From the day you walked into the BAU there was tension between the two of you though you hadn’t known why. As you settled into the job, becoming more comfortable around the team, your relationship with Emily became more tense as the months passed.

Nobody knew why you didn’t get along but it was common practice now for Hotch to make sure you didn’t get paired together on cases as more than one argument had occurred that meant neither of you were doing work.

Rossi had tried to get it out of you repeatedly, tried talking to you about Emily and what history you had but there was no history, before the BAU you hadn’t even heard of her. You didn’t know why she hated you or why you couldn’t stand to be around her, all you knew was that nobody knew how to push your buttons more than Emily Prentiss.

The tension between you and Emily was intense, both of you overly passionate in your arguments and that’s why it didn’t shock you the first time you fell into bed with each other. Rossi had always told you that with tension like that he was surprised that there were no underlying romantic feelings. You’d always scoffed when he said that but some part of you knew he was right, not about the romantic feelings of course but the way you and Emily got way too heated when you fought, it was only a matter of time before you turned that energy to something else.

In your defence, it had been a bad case. The unsub had been killing women that resembled you so naturally you offered to go undercover. Hotch readily agreed, there was nobody better at undercover work than you, the Undercover and Sensitive Operations Unit had been trying to poach you from the BAU for years but you turned them down every time despite loving undercover work.

It should’ve been easy but when was anything that involved the BAU easy?

They got you set up in a ground floor apartment and for the next few days you played your part as a regular citizen, going to the unsubs hunting ground in hopes of catching his attention. On the fourth day, however, another woman’s body had been found and the team had to respond to that.

You figured you hadn’t caught the unsub’s attention yet and so your guard was down but after disposing of the woman’s body, the unsub found his way to you. Nobody had profiled him to be stealthy, everything about him profiled as reckless, so when he was able to sneak up behind you and knock you out…well, the team had to refigure the profile before it was too late.

Thankfully the team managed to track you down before the unsub could really start his work, so after a few stitches in the back of the ambulance and pleading with Hotch not to send you to the hospital, you were on your way back to the hotel with the team and staying the night as it was too late to call the jet.

“You sure you’re alright, kid?” Rossi asked you from the front seat. You were sitting in the back between Derek and Spencer.

“I’m fine, Rossi, I promise.” You insisted, rolling your eyes as he shot you a look through the mirror.

It wasn’t long before you were pulling up to the hotel, the others pulling up just behind you.

“You’re rooming with Prentiss.” Hotch told you as he held a room key out towards you, bracing himself for the argument that he had no doubt was coming.

“Excuse me?” You said as the other joined you.

“Y/N,” Hotch began but you cut him off.

“Seriously, I just got kidnapped and nearly tortured and now you’re telling me I have to room with her.” You said, gesturing towards Emily with your chin before glaring up at Hotch.

“It’s one night, Y/N, and it’s already late. Just go to bed and get some sleep.” He told you as he slipped the key into your hand and walked away leaving you glaring at his back.

“Goodnight kid.” Rossi smirked whilst patting you on the back.

“I hate you all.” You grumbled before following him into the hotel missing Emily’s eye roll.

You couldn’t even remember how it happened. One minute you had been arguing with Emily and the next the two of you were frantically kissing each other, hands everywhere exploring each other's bodies, clothes were pulled off quickly and the two of you ended up sleeping with each other.

When morning came the two of you refused to acknowledge what had happened. You pushed yourself out of bed first and headed for the shower and by the time you had come out Emily and her bags were gone. You found a text from Spencer saying everyone was meeting downstairs to head to the jet and quickly packed your things away before heading down to the lobby.

The arguments hadn’t died down between you and Emily, though for the first few days after sleeping with her you avoided each other more. It would be months before you would sleep with her again but after the second time it became a regular occurrence. Anytime either of you needed to relieve some stress or if a case became too much, you found yourselves in each other's bed, never talking about it in the mornings but always knowing the offer was there.

Everything was going great until Emily had to go and talk about it.

-

“Are we seriously just never going to talk about this?” She asked one night.

You were at her apartment, not long back from California. It only took one glance at Emily, one nod from her, before you were climbing into her car and into her bed.

“What?” You asked, half asleep and not expecting her to strike up a conversation.

“Are we not going to talk about us?” She asked again and this time you pushed yourself up onto one elbow to look at her.

Emily had to hide a smile as you looked at her through sleepy eyes. Sometimes when you came to her, she knew it wasn’t about a case, no matter what you said, sometimes she could tell that you just needed to sleep but there was too much going on in your mind. Sex had always been a sure fire way to make sure you slept.

“Us?” You asked, feeling too tired for this conversation.

Why was she talking about ‘us’? There wasn’t an ‘us’, she hated you, she had from the minute you stepped into the BAU so why on Earth was she talking about ‘us’?

“Come on, are you really going to sit there and say you still hate me?” She asked, raising a brow at you. “We’ve been sleeping together for months now, Y/N.”

She was right, it was probably near on a year since your undercover case when you first slept together. What confused you though was the fact she said you hated her, you had never claimed to hate Emily, only mirrored her attitude towards you.

“You’re the one who hates me.” You grumbled, instead of answering, causing her to roll her eyes.

“I don’t hate you, Y/L/N,” she said like you were an idiot, “sure I argue with you but you’re the one who started this.”

“What are you talking about?” You asked, sitting up now and glaring down at her. “You’ve had it out for me since the day I started working at the BAU.”

“What are you talking about?” She asked right back. “I didn’t have it out for you. I was excited to get a new team member and you were nothing but cold towards me.”

“You’re kidding right? First day I was there all you did was posture and glare at me!” You snapped and began to make a move to get out of bed.

“Wow, ok, just wait, ok?” Emily said as she put a hand on your forearm, stopping you in your tracks. “Listen, I think, maybe, we might have gotten lost somewhere. This isn’t how I wanted this conversation to go, ok?”

You didn’t reply, instead you shook her hand off of your arm and crossed them over your chest. You didn’t make a move to leave though so Emily continued.

“I just wanted to know what this is between us, ok? You say this is just sex, fine it’s just sex but if you want something more…” She said, trailing off.

Your eyes went wide at her words. You could honestly say you hadn’t considered anything more with Emily, not thinking that there would ever be a possibility of more. Hell, half the reason for your fiery arguments was because you were jealous of how she acted with everyone else, she treated everyone else like she liked them and then when she turned to you it was like she was a different person.

“You’d want something more?” You asked, avoiding giving an answer causing her to smile.

“This isn’t about me.” She said, reaching over hesitantly and placing her hand on your knee.

“It’s as much about me as it is about you.” You shot back causing her to roll her eyes.

“Fine,” she relented, not wanting to start an argument. It would be so easy for you to argue with her now, your go to deflection when it came to each other was to argue, pointing your weapons at the others deepest hurt. “Yes, I’ll admit that lately I’ve been thinking about something more with you.” She confessed, her voice steady and confident…more confident than you felt right now.

With Emily you knew where you stood, you were meant to not like each other, you were meant to argue and fight but now she was completely rewriting the narrative and you felt out of place. Thoughts of what could be crossed your mind and you had to say you didn’t hate what you saw.

“How would we even work? I mean, I don’t think we’ve had a single conversation where we haven’t argued.” You said and Emily watched a small smile pull on your lips.

“We’re not arguing now.” She told you, causing you to roll your eyes but the smile stayed so she figured she was on the right track. “You don’t have to say anything now.” She told you softly.

You shook your head.

Giving it a try couldn’t hurt…right?

“You get one date to impress me, Prentiss.” You said seriously causing her to let out a laugh of disbelief before she pulled you back down onto the bed and wrapped the blanket around you.

“You really are something, Y/N.” She said, causing you to smile into her chest before the two of you finally fell asleep.

-

Emily had impressed you and it wasn’t long before you were falling for her hard. You told yourself you wouldn’t get attached but it was hard when Emily was so amazing.

The arguments didn’t stop at work but they became lighter, you stopped aiming for each other's biggest weakness and instead poked fun at each other, the arguments turning into bickering.

The team had raised their eyebrows but everyone was too thankful that the arguments had stopped to bring it up, deciding that it was best to let the two of you work things out and bring it up to them. Though that didn’t stop Derek poking fun at Emily and Rossi at you.

The two of you began getting paired up together on assignments, working in harmony together causing Hotch to shake his head at the pair of you. How many times had the man told you both how well you’d get on if you just gave the other a chance? He’d lost count but surprise, surprise the man was right.

Everything was going great. You and Emily were spending most of your free time together, she took you out to dinners, movie dates, she took you to gallery exhibits and you made sure to return the favour. Though all the going out dates were amazing, the two of you were partial to staying home, cuddling on the sofa with a glass of wine and something forgotten playing on the TV as the two of you focused on nothing but each other.

Really, should you have been surprised when it came to a crashing halt?

You were all gathered at Rossi’s for JJ’s surprise wedding and you were outside with Spencer but excused yourself to go and grab a drink from inside. Just as you were about to round the corner you paused as you heard Hotch ask:

“How are you?” You heard Emily let out a sharp exhale causing Hotch to speak again, “That bad? He asked.

“What?” You heard Emily ask in confusion, causing you to smile.

“That’s your tell,” he told her and the two of them continued on like that for a moment before Hotch drew the conversation back to the original topic.

You stayed hidden, not liking the fact that you were eavesdropping but you had noticed something had been off with Emily, it had been ever since she had come back to the team but then the two of you got together and things went back to normal. However, in recent days she had been acting nervous but shrugged it off everytime you asked.

“Do you want to talk about it?” Hotch asked and you leaned closer, awaiting her response.

“Absolutely,” she said after a moment of silence, “but not now.”

“First thing tomorrow?” Hotch replied.

“It’s a date.” Emily assured him and you were quick to move when you heard footsteps.

Once Hotch had passed, making his way over to Beth, you rounded the corner and saw Emily stood alone with her drink.

“A date, huh, should I be worried?” You asked with a forced smile. Emily looked at you in surprise before smiling at you.

“Of Hotch?” She asked before shaking her head, “I wouldn’t be.”

Though she was smiling at you, you could tell her thoughts were somewhere else.

“Are you sure everything’s ok?” You asked, watching as she stayed silent before nodding.

“I’m sure.” She said before taking your hand in hers and leading you outside.

It was a beautiful ceremony but your mind was focused on Emily. You noticed the looks of concern Penelope kept shooting her and the sad expression of Derek’s face.

You wished somebody would tell you what was happening.

-

You dropped it for the night, not wanting to ruin the happy atmosphere from JJ’s wedding but the next day you were determined to get an answer from Emily.

“What’s wrong?” Emily asked as she entered her apartment after meeting Hotch.

“You tell me.” You shot back, not in the mood for any more deflections.

“Y/N,” She sighed, moving to come closer to you but you took a step back causing her to stop.

“Just tell me what’s going on.” You pleaded, eyes wide as you silently begged her. You watched as she sighed before nodding to herself.

“I got offered a job to run the London Interpol office.” She told you honestly, not wanting to drag this out any further. There was no delicate way to tell you but she couldn’t help but wince at her own words.

She watched as you frowned, eyebrows pulling together as you took in her words. She watched your mouth move but no words came out.

“What?” You finally spoke.

“Clyde offered me a job, running the head office. I haven’t given him an answer yet.” She told you quickly.

“But you’re going to say yes.” It should have been a question but it wasn’t, you knew Emily. If she was still thinking about this then she wanted it.

“I haven’t given him an answer yet.” She repeated, causing you to roll your eyes.

“But you’ve already made your mind up, right?” You knew she had, you knew she was going to choose this job.

“Y/N,” She pleaded but you just shook your head.

“No, it’s fine.” You said, nose scrunching as you pushed back tears, refusing to cry.

“Ever since I got back it’s been…I haven’t been able to grab onto my old life and pretend nothing happened.” She told you and you got that you really did but still you were allowed to be sad.

“You started this with me, Emily!” You yelled suddenly, fury coursing through your veins, “You started this relationship with me, I didn’t ask for this, I didn’t ask you to be with me, that was all you! And now you’re just leaving for some job in London!”

“Y/N please,” She began, she knew you were right. She hadn’t been fair to you.

“Good luck in London,” You scoffed before pushing past her and making your way out of the apartment, ignoring her calls for you.

You had told yourself at the start of this not to get attached to Emily but now as you sat alone in a bar, playing back the memories of the two of you, you could see that you had fallen hard for her…you loved her.

Weeks passed since Emily left. You didn’t say goodbye to her before she left, though she tried to contact you. You hated that you felt like this, the sinking feeling in the pit of your stomach as you sat in your empty apartment. You didn’t want to miss Emily, you didn’t want to need her.

You just wanted her to come back and be here with you.

When you were first getting together with Emily, if you had known what you knew now you never would have played so nonchalant, you would have told her that you loved her, you would have said those three words every single day.

But now she was in London, surrounded by taxi cabs and busy streets and yet none of them would bring her back to you.

-

You were finally on your way home from a long case, sat on the sofa watching as Spencer stared at the empty seat across from him, still reeling from losing Derek.

You missed him too. Being on this team, losing people, it was draining. You were still mourning the loss of Emily and it had been so long since you last saw her.

Hotch had taken himself off to answer a video call but you weren’t paying attention, you sat with your headphones in and looked down at your phone blocking everything out but your attention was brought back up when Hotch tapped your shoulder and gestured for you to take your headphones out.

“Huh?” You said, sitting up and turning to him.

“We have a case.” Hotch announced causing everyone to groan but before anyone could start complaining he said something that made you turn pale. “It’s Emily.”

The jet stayed silent, Hotch and Rossi glancing at you worriedly.

“What do you mean it’s Emily?” JJ asked which you were grateful for.

Hotch was quick to fill you all in on the information Emily had given him about the copy cat murderer but you were hardly paying atttention. Emily was coming back, she was going to be in New York with you.

You stayed behind the team as they entered the station, not ready to face Emily just yet. It had been so long since you last saw her and you hardly knew what to do.

“There she is!” You heard Rossi exclaim as he pulled Emily close, kissing her cheeks. You watched as a bright smile spread across her face.

She looked great.

JJ and Spencer hugged her, her smile only widening with each new person. You watched as she hugged Hotch before her attention finally settled on you.

“Y/N,” she began, feeling overwhelmed as she took you in. “Hi.”

“Nice to see you.” You said softly, playing with the hem of your jacket.

“It’s nice to see you too.” She replied, desperate to reach out to you but terrified of the response.

Hotch cleared his throat causing you both to turn away from each other.

“Rossi and JJ are heading to the crime scene,” He told her, “I’m assuming you want to join?”

Emily agreed and with one final glance at you she walked out of the door.

-

“What was that about?” Tara asked you, the only person on the team not aware of your relationship with Emily.

You shook your head, blinking back against the sudden wetness in your eyes before turning to Hotch. You didn’t even have to ask him if you could have a minute, he just nodded at you and told you to take as much time as you needed.

You managed a grateful smile before turning around and finding the bathroom. You locked yourself in a stall and sunk down to the floor, letting the tears flow. You hadn’t known just how hard it would be to see Emily again after all this time.

You thought you were getting over her but seeing her again, you were still so in love with her.

She might have been here in New York with you but she wasn’t staying and she wasn’t yours.

-

Once the case was wrapped up everyone was getting ready to head to the jet. Hotch had already told you of Emily’s decision to fly back with you all and as much as you hated the glimmer of hope you also held onto it like your life depended on it.

You didn’t speak to her on the plane and she gave you the space you needed and once you were back at the BAU she excused herself to see Penelope.

“How are you?” Hotch asked when the two of you were alone.

You sniffed before shrugging, not entirely sure how to answer that but Hotch was patient and he let you sort through your feelings before answering.

“I want to hate her,” You told him quietly, watching as he smiled sadly at you, “I want to hate her so badly. It’s her fault I fell for her in the first place. But seeing her today made me realise, I’m still in love with her, Hotch.” You confessed aloud for the first time, eyes filling with tears again and Hotch was quick to pull you into a hug.

“I don’t wanna need her this way.” You said into his chest.

“I know, I know.” Hotch said as he rubbed a comforting and grounding hand along your back. He watched as Rossi peeked into his office but shook his head causing the older man to shoot you both a sympathetic smile before leaving.

Eventually you pulled away and composed yourself, giving Hotch a forced smile before you and he made your way out of his office, joining the rest of the team in the hallway.

“We’re having family dinner,” Penelope told you, Hotch and Tara, “you in?” She asked and you wanted to say no so badly. You wanted to go home and ignore everything until Emily Prentiss was out of the country.

But another part of you wanted to go, wanted to have the chance to at least talk to her. You hated how you’d left things with her, her thinking you hated her and you not knowing how she felt about you.

You saw most of the team looking at you in concern so you plastered a smile onto your face and agreed to go.

“If somebody is paying for the alcohol, I’m there.” You said, causing them to laugh.

“Yes!” Penelope cheered, “This is happening. You get to tell me everything about Mark and by everything, I mean everything about Mark. I want all the details.”  She said and the rest of the team watched your smile falter before you took a breath and forced it back.

Penelope seemed to notice her mistake as she winced and gave you and Emily an apologetic look but you just shook your head and stepped into the elevator.

The rest followed in and it wasn’t long before you were all sitting at a table, Mexican food in front of you and it was easier than you thought it’d be. You sat between Rossi and Hotch, talking and laughing like nothing was wrong.

You took the time to steal glances at her, savouring how beautiful she looked as she laughed at whatever Penelope was saying to her.

“You should talk to her before she leaves.” Hotch said to you. You turned to face him and bit your lip before nodding.

“I know but…I don’t know how to talk to her anymore.” You admitted, hating that you didn’t really know the woman you loved anymore.

“It’ll be easier than you think.” He promised as he patted your hand and excused himself to the bathroom.

Once JJ saw Hotch leave she nodded in your direction, encouraging Emily to get up and make a move. Emily sighed, she wanted nothing more than to talk to you but after the last conversation she really wasn’t sure how it would go.

Biting the bullet, she stood up and made her way to Hotch’s seat.

“Mind if I sit here?” She asked, causing you to look up in surprise. It took you a minute to respond but eventually you nodded. “Thanks.” She said softly, giving you a small smile.

The rest of the table continued chatting, not wanting to make things more awkward for the two of you.

Emily didn’t know where to start, she had dreamed of seeing you again for so long and now she had the chance and she was blowing it.

Thankfully you started the conversation but the topic made Emily wince.

“So Mark, huh?” You asked when the silence became unbearable. Rossi, who was sitting next to you, had to hold back a snort of laughter at your bluntness.

“What about Mark?” Emily asked, unsure of how you were going to take the fact she had a boyfriend.

“Nothing, nothing,” You said with a shrug, “just never really pictured you with a Mark.” You told her, nose scrunched in disgust causing her to smile.

“What’s wrong with Mark?” She laughed, watching as a small smile graced your face.

“Nothing, it’s just…Mark? Really?” That was the ice breaker the two of you needed and by the time Hotch was sliding into Emily’s seat the two of you were leaning into each other’s personal space, talking and laughing with each other.

It was the happiest the team had seen you in a long time.

“So,” You asked during a lull in conversation, “when do you leave?”

“Tomorrow morning.” She told you quietly.

“You can’t stay longer?” You asked and there was a brief pause where Emily looked at you, an unreadable expression on her face. “Not for me, of course. For the team, they miss you.”

“Of course.” Emily agreed. “I miss them too but you know, I gotta get back…Mark and all.”

“Ah, Mark.” You said with a nod causing her to smile sadly.

After that Penelope captured Emily’s attention and she got swept into a conversation with the other girls. You were able to leave the table without them noticing and headed outside, not noticing Rossi following behind you.

He took one look at you and pulled you into his arms.

“C’mere kiddo.” He said as he did and you willingly went to him, needed the comfort right now.

“I’m ok,” you assured him after a while, pulling away from him.

“I know you are.” Rossi said, causing you to smile. “You’re tough but you’re allowed to miss her.”

You just nodded but didn’t respond, not that Rossi was expecting you to.

“I think I’m gonna head home.” You told him after a moment of silence.

“You want me to drive you?” He asked but you shook your head.

“No please, stay. I’ll see you tomorrow.” You said and made to leave, before you turned the corner though you turned back to Rossi, “Thank you.” You called, causing him to smile at you before waving you off.

You hadn’t been asleep long when the knock on your door came. You groaned, cursing whoever it was as they wouldn’t stop banging.

You pulled yourself out of bed, not caring about your appearance, and pulled the door open. Before you had time to register who it was, a pair of soft lips connected with yours in a desperate kiss.

“Wow.” You said, pulling away and coming face to face with Emily.

“Y/N,” She began but you cut her off. Whatever she was about to say would be guaranteed to ruin this and you didn’t want that, if you could get one more night with Emily you were taking it, consequences be damned.

A one more night you got. The two of you fell into bed together, every move desperate, needy, hot…making up for all the time lost between the two of you. Your bodies moved in sync like you had never stopped being together.

Everything felt right and it was easy to pretend that things were normal but then morning came.

“I have to go.” Emily told you as she accidently woke you up getting out of bed.

“Emily,” You began, not ready to lose her again, “just come back, be here, please Emily.” You pleaded with her but knew it was no use.

“I have to go back, Y/N. Baby, please believe me,” she said, sitting on the bed and cupping your cheek, “I want to be here but I have a life there.”

“You have a life here, Emily.” You argued back but she just shook her head.

“It’s different.” She said and you didn’t know what else to say.

What could you say? She had made her mind up a long time ago about where she wanted to be and it wasn’t here with you, it was across an ocean in London with Mark.

“Okay,” You said, nodding your head. “I’m not saying this to make you stay, please don’t think I am but I have to say it, Em, because I regret everyday that I never told you.”

The look on her face told you she knew what you were about to tell her, her eyes filled with tears as she nodded at you.

“I love you.” You confessed softly, tears streaming down your face.

She pulled you in for a kiss, so gentle that it made you cry even more.

“I love you too.” She whispered against your lips.

Watching her leave again somehow hurt more this time around, probably because you had both admitted you loved each other but it still wasn’t enough. You still weren’t enough for her to stay.

She left and left you in pieces on your bed, tears steadily streaming down your faces as you buried your face in the pillow that still smelled like her, cursing that you needed her this way.

You just wanted her to come back to you.

__________________

Emily Taglist - @grccnaway, @chaoticevilbakugo, @ppgrayson

The Moment I Knew

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Prompt - ‘What do you do when the one who means the most to you is the one who didn't show?’

For months now you’d had your suspicions that Peter wasn’t being honest with you, that he wasn’t being faithful. At first it was easy to ignore, Peter was just late to things but he always had a decent excuse but then he started missing dates, the first few times he’d missed them he had called and apologised profusely but eventually the calls stopped coming, leaving you sat in a diner or stood outside a movie theatre alone. From there you could go days without seeing or hearing from him, despite your best efforts.

You knew but you weren’t ready to admit it to yourself yet.

One last chance, you had told yourself that you’d give him one last chance.

-

Peter made his way over to you as you finished up at your locker, ready to head home after a long school day. He smiled at you, a boyish grin lighting up his face, before he leaned down to kiss your cheek.

The two of you made light conversation as you headed towards the exit, things still tense between the two of you after Peter blew off your last date.

One last chance.

“You’re definitely gonna be at my party, right?” You asked as the two of you came to a stop before you had to separate to get home.

Peter looked down at you, his eyebrows drawing together as he frowned but he shook his head as if shaking away unwanted thoughts.

“Of course I’ll be there, baby.” He told you, promised you. You gave him a dubious look which made him feel even worse. He knew he had been terrible to you lately, he knew he was an idiot but with Spiderman and the workload at school and trying to cover all his injuries so you or May didn’t notice, even with his healing ability, it was hard. It was all becoming too much. He hated keeping it a secret from you, hated lying to you and cancelling on you constantly but he had to do it. He needed to be Spiderman, he needed to help people. “Y/N, I swear I’ll be there. I wouldn’t miss it for the world.” He assured you before leaning down to kiss you softly.

“I promise.” He whispered against your lips and you sighed before nodding.

You went to bed that night praying Peter Parker kept that promise.

-

It was the morning of your birthday and so far everything was going great. Your family had woken you up with gifts and breakfast and there was a flurry of texts and posts wishing you a happy birthday.

Peter had yet to text or call you but it was still early so you figured he was just waiting until he saw you at the party but despite what you told yourself you couldn’t help the worry that started to set in as you were getting ready.

The party was at your house, large enough to host the array of guests that would be coming, and your parents had gone all out on the decorations. Twinkling lights lit the room up nicely, balloons, flowers, streamers and all sorts of other decorations had been set up making the room look amazing.

“You look incredible!” Your friend said as she stepped in with a large group of people from your school. Everyone wished you a happy birthday, handing you cards and gifts that were set upon a table.

As more people flooded into the house, you couldn’t help but glance at your phone repeatedly and yet each time you checked there was no message from Peter.

It wasn’t long before the party was in full swing, music was blasting, people were dancing and laughing as they sang along and yet you weren’t enjoying yourself. You stood off to the side with your eye on the door, waiting for Peter to walk in.

If he burst through the door right now, with that smile of his, you would’ve been so happy. You would have pushed away the fact he was late, that he hadn’t called or texted you, you would’ve just been happy he was there.

“Y/N!,” you turned to face the person who called you, it was Josh, one of the jocks on the basketball team. “Happy Birthday!” He beamed, pulling you into a hug. “How’ve you been?” He asked when he pulled away.

You forced a smile onto your face, trying to pull yourself out of your memories, memories from just the other day when Peter had promised, he’d promised, he would be here. You made friendly conversation with Josh but kept one eye on the door throughout it.

It wasn’t long before you were left alone again and couldn’t help but let your mind wander back to all the times Peter had stood you up. Yet you always told him it was fine, sure you argued about it but at the end of the day you loved him, you didn’t want to lose him.

But now, as you stood alone at your own party, the new dress you’d bought just for the occasion and the red lipstick meant nothing. You had nobody here to impress. The one person who you wanted here most hadn’t bothered to show up, even worse he hadn’t bothered to tell you why.

Looking around the room, everyone else was laughing, they were having a great time and you hated that you weren’t amongst them, laughing along with them as you enjoyed your birthday.

As the hours ticked on, the party showed no signs of dying down despite how much you wanted the night to be over. You just wanted to be alone.

“Hey Y/N,” It was Peter’s friend, Gwen. From the look on her face she knew something was wrong and the sympathy on her face was too much for you.

You felt your eyes fill with tears, watched as Gwen’s eyes softened some more, before you pushed past her and made your way to the toilet. Gwen followed you down the hall and managed to get in the bathroom before you shut the door.

She watched as you clutched the sink like it was your lifeline, she watched as the tears fell down your face and mascara stained your cheeks. She watched her best friend’s girlfriend fall apart because he had messed up again.

Eventually you managed to stop crying and turned to face Gwen. Your makeup was ruined but you didn’t care, it was the last thing you cared about right now. You just wanted everyone to leave.

“He said he’d be here.” You told her hopelessly.

Gwen didn’t say anything, what could she possibly say to you right now? Nothing would make this right and she was furious at Peter. She had known Peter had been blowing you off lately but despite her best efforts she couldn’t get him to tell her why. But there was no excuse good enough to make up for him making you feel like this.

So instead she stayed silent and pulled you in for a hug.

Once you made your way back to the living room the lights dimmed and the many, many guests started to sing Happy Birthday to you. You forced a smile onto your face as you wiped your cheeks, trying to hide what had happened in the bathroom.

You felt Gwen place her hand on the small of your back and blinked away the tears that came as a result.

Once people were done you thanked them, quickly blew out the candles and made to leave.

“What’s wrong?” One of your friends asked as she caught you by the arm, taking note of your ruined makeup and the mascara that hadn't quite been wiped away.

You didn’t say anything, couldn’t say anything. What could you say when the tears started to stream down your face again in front of everyone you knew?

People gave you sympathic looks, more people trying to ask what had happened but you just shook your head.

You didn’t even care that you were crying in front of all these people, none of them mattered to you. The only person that mattered was the one person who didn’t bother to show.

In that moment though, you knew things between you and Peter were done. You knew you couldn’t carry on with this, couldn’t carry on being stood up, being lied to, being ignored. You put so much effort into this relationship and the one time, the one time, you wanted Peter to show up, the one night he knew was important and he didn’t care enough to even text.

That was the moment you knew.

You pushed through the crowd and made your way to your bedroom. You let the door shut with a gentle click before you leaned your back against it, letting your head hit the hard wood.

It was only a moment later that the sob left you and it was followed by more and more until you were sliding down the door, heartbreaking sobs drowned out by the music as you buried your face in your knees.

This, this was the moment you knew things had to be done between you and Peter.

-

You had cried yourself to sleep, still sat on the floor and by the time you woke up the music was turned off and you couldn’t hear any voices. Your eyebrows knitted together as you tried to figure out what had woken you up when you heard your phone buzzing from next to you on the floor.

You looked down and felt an ache in your chest as you saw Peter’s smile beaming up at you, it was your favourite picture of him, half asleep, his hair was a mess but he looked beautiful.

You considered ignoring the call but decided it was best just to rip the band aid off. You’d always thought breaking up with somebody over the phone was weak but right now, in this moment you understand how people did it. The thought of seeing Peter physically hurt.

With a sigh you pressed answered.

“Y/N?” He asked into the phone and you took a shaky breath, trying to calm yourself before speaking.

“What?” You asked, your voice croaky from crying.

You heard Peter let out a deep sigh, the line staying silent for a moment before he spoke.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t make it.” He said and you wished you had the energy to fight him, wished you had the energy to stand up for yourself, to tell him he should be sorry, tell him that you were worth so much more than that. But you couldn’t, you didn’t have the energy to do anything involving Peter Parker. You already knew it was done and there was nothing else to say.

“I’m sorry too,” You said, “I can’t do this anymore, Peter, this is done.” You told him and you heard his breath hitch through the phone.

You couldn’t see the tears pouring down his face as he held a hand to his face. He knew he had messed up, he had every intention of going to your party but then something had happened and Spiderman was needed.

The whole night was a mess.

“Please Y/N,” He said, fully prepared to beg for you right now. He loved you so much and he wasn’t ready to lose you, he couldn’t lose you.

“No Peter,” You whispered, not able to listen to him. It was too late for him to fight for you now, he should have fought to keep you when he had you. “Goodbye.” You said softly before hanging up the phone and letting your head hit the door as more tears fell down your face.

You knew in that moment you’d made the right decision, you couldn’t compete with whatever Peter was hiding from you. You couldn’t be second best to a secret but that didn’t mean it didn’t hurt more than anything, finally letting Peter go.

____________________________

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Prompt - ‘It feels like the perfect night for breakfast at midnight.’

Notes - happy new year!! (this was supposed to be uploaded yesterday but tumblr broke again)

When Rossi informed you that he was hosting a New Year’s Eve party you couldn’t help but let out a sigh of relief. Lately everything had been piling up, deadline after deadline, meeting after meeting, everything fell all at once and you found yourself constantly two steps behind where you needed to be.

Thankfully you had managed to get on top of things for the time being, though you still had a to-do list that was way too long.

A David Rossi party was exactly what you needed right now. A chance to dress to the nines, have your hair and makeup done for once instead of rolling out of bed ten minutes before your morning class or thirty minutes before your shift started.

It was a chance to forget about everything for the night. A chance to forget about the stress of essays and research, a chance to forget about the heartbreak of your last breakup that still followed you around despite how hard you tried to push it away. It was a chance to have fun.

When New Year’s Eve finally rolled around you couldn’t help but smile as you woke up with something to look forward to. Today was the first time in as long as you could remember that you were doing something fun and weren’t holed up in the library with piles of research books.

You’d bought a new outfit for the occasion, nothing in your closet seemed appropriate for Rossi’s party. It was fun and you couldn’t help but smooth your hands down the fabric as you looked in the mirror, makeup perfectly applied thanks to the artist, you looked amazing.

A buzz at your door had you quickly throwing your shoes on and grabbing a small bag before you headed out of your apartment. You couldn’t help but laugh as you saw the limounse Rossi had sent, it looked so out of place in this run down part of town.

You thanked the driver as he opened the door for you and it wasn’t long until you were pulling up at Rossi’s.

The front door was open and the party seemed to be getting started if the amount of people already there was any indication. Everybody seemed to get the dress code memo as they all looked incredible. Rossi had gone all out on the decorations too, sparing no expenses.

You made your way further into the house, plucking a glass of something from one of the waiters as you looked around the room. You were definitely one of the younger people there and other than Rossi you had a feeling you wouldn’t know many other people but that didn’t bother you.

“Y/N!” A voice called causing you to turn around. You smiled as you saw Rossi making his way over to you, a grin on his own face. “Oh, it’s so good to see you, kiddo.” He said when he was close enough, pressing his lips to your cheeks before pulling you into a hug.

You let yourself sink into the hug and if you squeezed him slightly tighter than usual, well who was judging? Rossi knew you were having a rough few months, from the breakup with the douchebag he had never liked to your ever growing work pile. He was glad you agreed to come tonight so easily because he had planned on getting you here one way or another.

Besides, there was somebody he had to introduce you to.

“Hi Dave.” You beamed up at him when the two of you finally pulled away, Rossi’s arm staying around your shoulder as he led you out of the room and into the garden, all the while chatting away and asking you questions. You were relieved that you could finally tell him things were better.

“There’s some people I want to introduce you to,” He told you before smirking, “one in particular actually.” You watched him smirk and rolled your eyes.

“Dave,” You began with an over exaggerated sigh, “I came here to have fun not for you to set me up.”

Rossi couldn’t help but laugh, not having a chance to respond as the group turned at the sound, smiling over at the pair of you.

“Everybody this is Y/N, kid you know Aaron and this is Derek, JJ, Emily, Penelope and this here is our very own genius Doctor Spencer Reid.” Everybody smiled and waved at the introductions and there was no mystery as to which one Rossi was trying to set you up with.

You smiled back, watching as Spencer smiled bashfully at being the only one singled out and you couldn’t help but think he was cute, not that Rossi would ever hear you admit it.

“So how do you two know each other?” JJ asked.

“Yeah Rossi, she’s a bit too young to be wife number seven.” Derek grinned causing everybody to laugh.

“Three wives,” Rossi said, wagging his finger at the group, “three wives is a very reasonable number. As for Y/N,” Here Rossi paused looking at you and giving you the chance to tell the story or change the version of events.

You smiled at him, thankful for the chance but these people were his team and they had all seen the type of things that had happened to you on a daily basis.

“I met Rossi before he retired from the BAU, one of his final cases actually.” You told them, giving the nod to Rossi that he could take over.

“The unsub was killing families and Y/N’s was the last family he targeted, from there he went off script and took the kid.” Rossi gave your shoulder a squeeze and you leaned into him.

It still hurt to think of them, of course it did. It hurt to think of what that man had done to them and to you but eventually it got easier to deal with. After Rossi had got to you before the unsub could do much more damage he extended his stay, taking vacation time he had never used, and stayed with you everyday as you recovered in the hospital. He was the reason you weren’t so afraid anymore, without him you don’t know how far you would’ve gotten.

There were murmurs of apologies and sympathetic looks which you brushed off with a wave of your hand.

“It was a long time ago. I’m just glad I had you.” You said, leaning your head against Rossi’s shoulder, missing the soft look that spread across his face before he placed a kiss on your head.

“Well now that that’s out of the way,” Rossi spoke, “Who’s ready to drink?”

The cheers he got in return were all that were needed to get things started.

-

You were surprised at how easily you fit in with the team, though the drinks probably, definitely, helped with that. To begin with you had stuck to Rossi’s side but eventually you found yourself relaxing and it wasn’t long before the girls took notice and you were pulled over to their sofa and were taking shots with them, laughing all the while.

Eventually you felt the room spin and you were ready to sit the next few rounds out. You stood up before stumbling over to one of the emptier sofa’s that your group occupied and sat down on it, not taking note of who else was there.

“You okay?” A voice asked softly, causing you to look up and see Spencer looking at you with a smile.

You hummed as you sat back, letting your head hit the back of the soft as you smiled back at him, eyes closed to fight against the dizziness. You didn’t feel the sofa shift as Spencer stood up and didn’t take note of how long he was gone for but the next time you opened your eyes Spencer was holding a cold glass of water out towards you.

“You should drink.” He told you, smiling as you shook your head. “One of the reasons you’re feeling dizzy right now is because of the dehydration. Even though you're drinking, alcohol actually doesn’t hydrate you so it’s best if you drink water in between drinks. Also, it’ll help with the hangover you’re going to have tomorrow.” He grinned at you as you looked at him through squinted eyes.

It took a couple more seconds before you took the water with a scrunch of your nose but after the first few sips you ended up happily gulping the drink down, feeling much better already.

“Huh, you really are a genius.” You told him, enjoying the quiet laugh you got in return.

“So they tell me.” He chuckled as he took the glass off you to place on the table.

“You’re not drunk?” You asked him. You’d taken note of the fact that even though he was drinking he was taking it easier than the rest of you. Whilst you and the girls had done way too many shots and Hotch, Derek and Rossi were making their way through a scotch that probably cost more than your apartment, Spencer was still nursing his second drink of the night.

“I don’t really drink.” He told you, watching as you nodded.

As the two of you continued to talk you missed Hotch, Derek and Rossi watching you with matching smiles. For months now Rossi had been trying to hatch a plan to introduce you to Spencer but with your workload it hadn’t happened. Now as he watched the two of you shift closer to each other, heads bent down and talking so softly none of them could hear the words, he knew he’d made the right call.

You and Spencer spent most of the night on the sofa, chatting away and getting to know each other. The cold air and water was definitely helping and you didn’t feel quite so drunk so you were able to enjoy the soft conversation and retain the information he was giving you.

“Oh, oh, quick everybody!” Both you and Spencer startled as Penelope exclaimed loudly, pulling you out of your own little bubble. “The countdown is starting! You’re mine, Derek Morgan.” She grinned, raising her eyebrows at him.

“Oh baby girl, you best believe I’ve been waiting all year for this kiss.” He grinned right back at her.

“It’s midnight?” Spencer murmured, shocked at how fast time had seemed to move as he spoke to you, trying to learn as much as he could about you.

“Hell yeah it’s midnight pretty boy.” Derek said, causing you to giggle. Spencer looked over at you with a smile as he stood up, ready to follow the rest of the team to the living room for the ball drop.

He held a hand out of you, something which didn’t go unnoticed by the team even with all the alcohol in their system, but you were oblivious to the looks as you took his hand and let him lead you to the living room, neither of you letting go.

Spencer managed to grab two flutes of champagne just as people started counting down from ten, handing it to you.

“10, 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1, Happy New Year!” With that people erupted into cheers, couples around you were kissing, friends embraced each other and you were surprised to find you didn’t feel the least bit lonely.

You would have thought that after the break up, after the stress and isolation of the last few months you would have felt so lonely reigning in the New Year but right now, Rossi to your side and Spencer’s hand in yours it was hard to imagine being lonely.

“Happy New Year, Y/N,” Spencer said softly, barely heard above the music and cheers but as his lips pressed to your cheek you heard them perfectly.

“Happy New Year, Spencer.” You replied just as quietly, a smile you couldn’t fight back on your face as he pulled away.

Spencer was pulled out of the bubble the two of you created once more as Derek threw an arm around him.

“You got a kiss for me, pretty boy?” He grinned, taking great delight in watching Spencer flush.

Your smile got even wider if it were at all possible even as you tried to wipe it off your face as Rossi wrapped his own arm around your shoulders, pulling you close and kissing your temple.

“Happy New Year, kiddo. Something tells me you’re gonna have a lot to thank me for this year.” He smirked, eyes darting from Spencer to you.

You rolled your eyes but couldn’t help but hope he was right. Judging by the shy smile Spencer gave you at the words he had overheard, he wanted it too.

“Pancakes!” Penelope yelled randomly causing everyone to look at her. “I want pancakes!”

“Where-“ JJ hiccuped, “where even does pancakes at midnight?”

You watched Penelope’s smile fall as nobody spoke up.

“I know a place.” You finally said, causing Penelope’s head to snap around to you, grin firmly back in place as she made her way over to you.

“You’re my new best friend.” She declared, ignoring the protests from the others.

It wasn’t long before the lot of you were piling into one of the many cars waiting out front, Spencer grabbing your hand gently and sitting you down next to him. He didn’t know what it was about you, usually he hesitated to touch even the people closest to him but with you he didn’t even think about it.

Your hand in his felt right, his lips against your cheek had felt right. There was something about you he so desperately wanted to know and he could only hope that you wanted to know him too.

As you all sat around a table, various chairs having to be dragged over to accommodate the group, you couldn’t help but smile. You felt so comfortable around these people, each of them welcoming you in without any hesitation. The table was filled with so many different breakfast foods, fireworks could be heard in the distance and as Spencer took your hand in his once more you couldn’t help but think that this was going to be a good year.

____________

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