Charles: Name?

Charles: Name?

Scott: Scott Summers.

Charles: Sex?

Scott: . . .

Scott: Frequent?

Charles: No, which. Male, female, or–

Scott: Doesn’t matter. Both. Male and female. Sometimes together.

Jean: Just kill me now.

Erik: Who wants to make five dollars?

Jean: How?

Erik: I need someone to take the fall.

Charles: *distantly* Oh my god!

Lorna: What did you do?!

Erik: I can’t tell you. Yes or no, no questions asked.

Wanda: Why can’t you–

Charles: OH MY GOD!!

Pietro: Make it ten.

Erik: Done!

Charles: OH MY FUCKING GOD!!!

Erik: You’re a good son.

Erik: *dragging Pietro out by the ear* I GOT HIM, DARLING! DON’T WORRY ABOUT IT!

Peter: Everything’s fine, Scott. | Scott: Peter- baby, Sweetheart, I know your relationship with the english language is uhh, strictly casual, but you- I- *deep inhale* ALLOW ME TO TELL YOU WHAT’S NOT FINE.

Sorry it’s taken me so long to respond, anon! This describes them in a nutshell, no matter what version of them it is, no matter what universe it is. Peter absolutely does not know when the appropriate time to panic is and Scott panics way too fast.

Pietro: Okay, Scott. This is getting ridiculous now. It is clear that there is a sexual tension between us, but for some reason you decide not to act on it.

Scott: Um…

Pietro: Here, I made a PowerPoint presentation on why we should kiss:

1. I am very pretty

2. This is a classic enemies to lovers situation.

Crystal: Pietro, we’re married…

Pietro: Details.

only after scott has a kid and a wife though.

Charles: Name?

Scott: Scott Summers.

Charles: Sex?

Scott: . . .

Scott: Frequent?

Charles: No, which. Male, female, or–

Scott: Doesn’t matter. Both. Male and female. Sometimes together.

Jean: Just kill me now.

Pietro: What’s a guy have to do to get some decent treatment around here?

Pyro: You know Quicksilver? The criminal?!

Scott: Yeah, we’re just, uh, work friends.

Pietro: Work friends? I’ve been inside of you!

Pyro: *immediate gagging*