Scott: Thank You, Nature, For Pre-slicing Oranges For Us. You Didn't Have To And You Did Anyway And That

scott: thank you, nature, for pre-slicing oranges for us. you didn't have to and you did anyway and that was cool of you

sam, tied up: personally, i blame you

bucky, tied up next to him: how can this possibly be my fault?

sam: because if it’s not then that means it’s mine and that can’t be right

tony: pepper’s upset with me but i don’t know why

steve: were you talking before she got upset?

tony: yeah

steve: that’s probably why

pre-spiderbite peter: *seductively takes off glasses* wow you’re fucking blurry

tony: one time my religion teacher who had a monobrow asked me, "what the hell did you do to your hair?" because i had dyed it and i said, "what the hell did you do to your eyebrow?" and he sent me outside

tony: when i came back in, he asked everyone what monotheism was and i said it meant a religion that worshipped only one god because "mono" means "one" as in monobrow and he sent me out again

valkyrie: death is a certainty. all of us will die one day

thor: except for loki

loki: yeah. i die lots of days!