Some Jedi (and A Few Clones) And How Often I Think They Would Say "I Love You" Or Something Similar.

Some Jedi (and a few clones) and how often I think they would say "I love you" or something similar.

Anakin: Says I hate you more than I love you but everyone knows it means I love you. Knows how much it means to Obi-wan so he comms him every night to say good night and I love you. It's been a thing since he was a padawan. He does the same thing with Padme.

Obi-wan: As often as he can. He made the mistake of not telling Qui-gon that he cared about him enough and won't make that decision again. Some people worry that he overuses love/caring words but he genuinely means it every time.

Ahsoka: Pretty often. She loves to make sure people know that they are loved and know it's important they know.

Rex: Not very often. In very certain situations or if someone says it first. He thinks it a lot tho.

Cody: Very similar to Rex. Every now and again it will hit him how much he loves the people around him.

Fives: Extremely often to certain people (Echo, Anakin, Ahsoka, and Rex). Not much of a words of affirmation guy so he mostly shows it through physical touch.

Echo (before he gets blown up): Mostly when people say it to him first. He gets the same feeling as Cody, they all do really.

Plo: Very often. Kinda like Obi-wan but it's not trauma based and not quite as often.

Kit: Often. The thing as Obi-wan. After his padawan died he started saying it more and more.

Yoda: Says it the most out of the council. Maybe slightly trauma based as he's probably known a lot of people who have murked themselves.

Shaak Ti: Not directly "I love you" but more like "I care about you." Said very often to the clones.

Mace: Not often. When he does it's important.

There will be more

Febuwhump Day 16: Semi-conscious

Fandom: Star Wars

Timeline: The Clone Wars/Star Wars Rebels

The battle was long and hard. Caleb never really minded fighting beside his master and his troops. It was exhausting and extremely challenging, both mentally and physically. He sometimes questioned why someone so young was a commander but he got to help people so that thought was often dismissed.

    The clone beside him, as Caleb recalled his name was Duchess, was shot down. This wasn't the first time the padawan had seen one of his men die. It detracted him for all of a second. A second was all it took. A bullet hit Caleb in the lower abdomen.

    He fell to the ground. Depa looked over to Caption Gray and he nodded. She rushed over to the boy and assessed his injury.

    Caleb's head was spinning. He wasn't sure what had happened. His stomach burned. All he could hear was muffled words. His eyes flutter as he caught bits of the conversation that unfolded before him. Mostly his mother talking to him. She attempted to comfort him.

    Depa was terrified. Caleb was just barely responsive to her and his pulse felt weak. Sure attachments were forbidden but she was close to her padawan. Caleb meant so much to her and seeing him so hurt made her feel useless. It was important that she protect him; as his master, superior, and his mother.

    A medic arrived and prepared to take him somewhere safer. Caleb couldn't really think. Still he only understood parts of what was going on. He was moving? Someone had picked him up.

Comprehending what was happening hurt the boys head.

    When the two got to the treage the medic further took care of the wound. He was dragged away to take care of a worse case. "I'll be right back, okay Caleb?" He spoke softly.

    Caleb tried to answer but couldn't. An injured friend of his saw him and limped over to make sure he was okay. "Hey buddy, you okay?" Checkers spoke softly.

    'huh' the kid thought. He moved his head slowly to face the soldier, "am I gonna die?" His voice was quiet and shaky.

    Checkers rested his hand on the other cheek, "no, your not gonna die. I promise."

    The padawan gave the clone a small smile. Everything was still hazy. "Okay." Checkers moved to sit beside his commander. The kid held a special place in the soldiers heart. While technically he was younger than Caleb, he worried a lot about him; most of the battalion did. He was so young and should even be in this war.

    "Where's mom?" This took the clone by surprise. Everyone kinda knew that Depa and Caleb were close but hearing him say that she was like his mother unnerved Checkers. Not that there was a problem with that but because both were Jedi and he didn't want anything to happen to them. Attachments to him seemed inevitable but he wasn't a Jedi so he didn't really know.

    "Shes okay" he reassured Caleb. The medic came back and finished what was left to do with the injury. After making sure he was okay, Chess left again to take care of others.

    The battle ended not long after. It was a win for the republic. Depa quickly went to find Caleb. He was doing better. When she would arrive he was talking to Checkers about some clone gossip he had heard. Depa sighed and kneeled down beside him. "Caleb let Checkers rest."

    "Oh I'm alright. I was just telling him about what Pawn and Knight said" He chuckled.

    "Is everyone alright?" Caleb asked.

    "Mostly. It appears lucky this was a low casualty battle." Depa smiled. "Now both of you get some rest, we'll be leaving soon."

    "Yes sir." Both boys responded.

    Kanan thought back to this event everyone now and again; mostly around the anniversary of the excursion of the Jedi. The memory stung more than the bullet that had hit him that day. One day he'd find the strength to forgive the clones, now that he knew it wasn't their fault. One day that memory wouldn't be tainted anymore. 

Febuwhump Day 18: Can't stay awake

Fandom: Star Wars

Timeline: The Bad Batch

Warning: This story deals heavily with graphic depictions of suicide and self harm. Please proceed with caution.

This is what he wanted right? The blood that spiled from his wrist started to make him dizzy. Tech was tired of feeling ostracized by the regs, by his brother's. No one seemed to understand him. Sure he expressed things differently and sure he didn't

always know when or what to say but the man did his best.

    Not only was he done with people he was done with the war. The sights he'd seen through his googles frightened him. The blood, tears, the evil, and the lack of empathy was something no amount of training could properly prepare you for.

    Was this what he wanted? It's what the regs wanted. They never failed to let Tech know he was less than them, that he'd be better off dead. His eyes fluttered. At first he didn't agree but as time went on the regs words started to sting. When they no longer stung they burned into his mind and heart. Physical fights became waiting out the storm and taking care of himself later.

    Tech knew the signs and saw them in himself. He thought of telling his brother but in the end decided he'd deal with it on his own. When the man started to think more seriously of killing himself and of harming himself he knew it was time to tell them. Every time he tried his throat closed and tears welled. At the end he walked away to try again another day.

    The first time he gave into the thoughts saying he deserved to bleed, deserved the horrors of what the regs and what the war did to him; the blade calmed his mind in a way unexpected. From then on though he knew it was unhealthy and a problem, he didn't really care.

    Tech started caring less about his safety. This stressed Hunter out as he started seeing the signs as well. The sergeant wasn't sure what to do so he just watched him carefully.

    Now four neatly folded notes laid at the end of his bunk. The others had gone to the mess hall for dinner.

    Was this what he truly wanted? What about the brothers he had written to? Would they be okay? None of them really knew what was going on in his head, hell Echo hadn't seen him any other way than he was now, but all had done their best to help him. He pushed them away.

    No this wasn't what he wanted. He wanted to feel better. If he died he wouldn't feel better, he wouldn't feel anything. Now he tried to fight against the looming tiredness that hung over him. Tech just had to last until his brothers returned. What would they think? That doesn't matter.

    "I think I'm gonna go back to our barracks, I'm not really hungry" Echo excused himself.

    In the barracks Tech's breathing slowed. He couldn't stay awake. If he succumbed to the exhaustion it was all over. His eyelids felt heavy as they tried to shut out the world for good. The clone was already curled up. He inched one of his hands down to the worse of the two wrists. It would only help a little for he could put much pressure on it.

    Tech's comm sat on the table closest to the bed. He wanted to reach for it but couldn't muster the energy to. Next it the comm sat the piece of shrapnel that he used to make the lacerations. Finding blades with no heat element to them was difficult so Tech got... Creative. Next to the comm and sharapnal rested his blaster and broken googles.

    The clones breaking point was when Kitty broke them. Kitty hatted the batch and for no good reason. He was an angry man and the batch seemed to be his favorite target. The four never provoked him. Echo got rapped into his torment when he joined the family. Breaking the googles felt simbolic. The shatter of the glass to the shatter of his hope, the breaking of his heart and brain.

    Echo walked though the halls. Something felt wrong. Without realizing it his pace quickened. Arriving at the room he opened the door and greeted Tech. Brown eyes landed to the notes at the end of the bed. From the bed they drifted to his brother, then to the table. Broken googles and bloody shrapnel confirmed Echo's suspicions. He ran to the others side and pushed him to his back.

    Something was going on. Tech saw a face. Slowly he relieved who it was. "Stay with me Tech alright." He spoke softly. Echo had seen this before. Suicide wasn't exactly uncommon for soldiers. Now he just had to keep him alive. Rather Tech liked it or not.

    Tech tried to nod. He wanted to answer Echo. He wanted to get to know Echo. With the little coherent thoughts he could have he regretted his decision to let it get this far.

    "I know it's hard but try to stay awake Tech. You're gonna be okay." Echo grabbed his own blanket quickly and pressed it against the cuts.

    The world was fading. Echo's comforting voice was starting to be drowned out by silence and his eyelids finally won and closed.

    Echo kept an eye on the others pulse. It was weak but it was there. Medics would arrive and take the injured to the medic bay.

    Now to inform his brothers. They were still in the mess hall. He sat down. Hunter immediately noted the blood on Echo's hand. "What happened?" Concern laced the man's voice.

    He looked at the three. He had all of their attention. Worry grew on their faces. "Tech tried to kill himself. He's in the medical bay. It's not looking good."

    Tears formed in Wrecker's eyes. "What?" He muttered.

    "What's wrong sad batch?" Kitty antagonized.

    Crosshair stood. He walked over to the bully, "If he dies you're next!" Wrecker snatched Crosshair and the four walked to the medical bay.

    When Tech would wake he found his family surrounding him, faces panted with worry. What does he tell them? How does he explain everything?

    "Hey Tech." Hunter softly smiled. Tech returned the sentiment. The four had been informed of the numerous other scars that littered his body. They mixed with war injuries. Well both were war injuries, one a war against the separatists and one a war against himself.

    "Why didn't you tell us?" Hearing Crosshair sound so soft calmed and spooked Tech.

    "I.. I didn't know how." His voice came out shaky and quiet.

    The family talked for a while before letting Tech get some rest. They would help him through the battle with his mind and when rummers flew about what happened they defended him. All of them would make it through this. Together.

A Month of Whump Day 4: Fantasy

Fandom: Star Wars

Summary: What happens when Anakin discovers force healing? Well he tries to use it of course.

Warning: Major character death

  As soon as Anakin learned it was possible to heal people with the force he started trying to learn how. He dove head first into any research he could find. No one could really talk to him, it consumed his brain. The man practically lived in the library until the republic gave him his next mission.

    Anakin entered the docking bay with three larger books. Some papers stuck out of books. "Are you still working on that mystery project?" Ahsoka asked.

    "Yep." He sighed.

    "Why won't you tell me what it is?"

    "I'll tell you adventaly, right Rex?"

    "Oh, um sure." The clone turned around.

    "Do you even know what you just agreed to?" Ahsoka walked over beside him.

    "Nope."

    "I said that I'll tell you two about my mystery project at some point. Now come on, we need to board the ship."

From there they boarder the Resolute. After some time they would arrive to their destination. The battle that was ahead of them was bloody and unforgiving. Soldier after soldier fell. At this point Anakin knew that he could'nt help them all. He could just try his best to keep them as safe as possible.

Beside him stood his padawan. The two deflected blaster fire, keeping track of the number of droids they destroyed to compare later. This time the bullet just barely slipped past the green blade and hit Ahsoka in the chest. The girl fell to the ground.

    Anakin slightly looked to his side and fell to the ground to make sure she was alive. Checking for a pulse he discovered that she had one but it was weak. Without much thought he moved his hand and lightly touched the life threatening wound. The padawan never moved. The Jedi's mind felt empty as he breathed in calmly. The wound started to heal. Not much time passed before Ahsoka no longer felt the pain for her now nonexistent bullet wound.

    Ahsoka stood. "What just happened?" She mumbled. The girl felt fine. Anakin however did not. He felt weak; weak and tired. His mind was foggy. Trying to really think was a battle of its own. Standing slowly he was barely being able to keep his feet under him. It felt as if his head was spinning and his breathing speed up. The field in front of him was blurry. Swaying he lifted his lightsaber.

    The Jedi tried to fight through the fog. If he couldn't fight what else could he do? If for some reason he had to leave the 501st to take a leave, what would happen if they were stuck with another Krell? The man had no injuries so what was causing all of this?

    It finally hit him. Healing Ahsoka had exhausted him. The power it took to heal her was just enough to cause the reaction. Now he just needed to stand long enough to win this battle, to make sure his soldiers were safe.

    "Anakin?" Ahsoka questioned. The man didn't hear her. Not even five minutes went by before he collapsed.

    Ahsoka wasn't really sure what was going on. One moment he was fine and standing next to her and the next she was on the ground. After her older brother stood she knew he wasn't okay. Ahsoka kneeled down quickly and searched for a cause.

    Standing she became even more confused. Anakin had no injuries. Physically he appeared to be fine. "Medic!" She yelled. Quickly the man was taken away to be taken care of.

    Kix couldn't figure out what was wrong with his general. His condition wasn't changing much. He sent him off to the battalion aid station.

    Later Anakin would wake up with Ahsoka and Rex at his bedside waiting. After a moment he spoke, "hey."

    "Hey Skyguy." Snips responded softly.

    "Anakin, what happened?" Rex asked, concerned.

"You know that thing I was looking into? It's called force healing. I didn't want to tell you just in case." Anakin looked over at Ahsoka, "I'm glad it worked."

"Wait, what? Skyguy what caused you to collapse?"

"I think it was the energy needed to actually make it work."

"I didn't know Jedi could do that." Rex looked astonished. Everyday the force amazed him more and more.

"I'm here." Fives entered the room. Once he saw his general awake he sighed with relief.

With further research the four would learn that force healing worked by pouring one's own life force into the wounded to heal them. This would come at the experience of the healer. Every time Anakin would do this he would need time to rest afterwards if the injury was bad enough. Ahsoka wanted to learn now. She'd tell Obi-wan but neither could figure it out. It was an incredibly rare talent that Anakin had been both cursed and blessed with.

Anakin would often overexert himself. Channeling the power helped to save many lives and it tore Anakin's apart. The Jedi was tired all the time. He missed his once energetic life. Leading his battalion was harder than it used to be. His friends worried about him.

The man would have to learn who he could and couldn't help; when it was time to let someone go and when to save them. If Anakin never learned he would end up dead. He knew it was a possibility but simply ignored it. So now, when he lie dead in the cold mub as Cody rose from the ground they all understood he never learned, never would have learned, that sometimes it was time to let go. That eventually he would trade his life for someone else's. It was only a matter of time.

Febuwhump Day 19: "You Deserve This."

Fandom: Star Wars

Timeline: The Bad Batch

    Caleb ran through the crowd of people. Behind him chased Crosshair. Watch its and move it kids were thrown at him constantly as he tried to make his way to the woods. In the woods he could hide, he could be safe. If need be he could draw his lightsaber in the woods. He couldn't hear, not anymore.

    Crosshair finally had the chance to right his brother's wrong. The Jedi that ran in front of him would be dead by the end of the day.

    Once at the woods the child jumped into the trees. It would be harder to find him this way. Hopefully he could lose Crosshair and make it back to the town on the other side of the woods.

    The soldier didn't take his eyes of Caleb. He wanted him jump from tree to pink tree. The forest was beautiful; unfortunately neither had the time to really enjoy the rare beauty of nature.

    When Caleb's foot slipped on the branch everything felt over. He hit the ground hard and laid still for a moment. Crosshair ran over, ready to kill the little boy if he wasn't already gone. Scrambling the Jedi went for his lightsaber.

    Crosshair didn't shoot.  Something felt off so he waited. After all he had the time.

    The boy whimpered as he pulled himself against a tree. Tears allowed him to express the pain and terror that gathered in his heart and head. Was this it? With the arm in the least amount of pain Caleb lifted his lightsaber and ignited it in front of himself. "Why are you doing this?" he cried.

    "You deserve this" Crosshair hissed.

    "Deserve this?" Pain and betrayal laced Caleb's voice, "what did I do to deserve this?!"

    "Your acts of treason" The clone answered.

    "Treason? I didn't commit an act of treason!"

    "There is no need to lie. The Jedi betrayed the republic."

    "What? Well what did they do?" Now curiosity took over. If he was gonna die he should at least know why.

    Crosshair was quiet. What did they do? "It doesn't matter! You're a traitor and traitors need to be dealt with."

    "I'm not going to die for something I didn't do!" Caleb started attempting to stand, "I won't let my life be cut short! My mom saved me I won't let it be for nothing! There are still people who I need to help, places I need to go! I want to live to see peace! Take your shoot Crosshair! Take it!" The boy stood as steady as he could. The tree provided enough support for him to use both arms for his lightsaber.

    The pain the child was in was evident. Crosshair could see it written all over his face. Did he deserve this? 'Yes he's a traitor. No he's just a kid, he couldn't have known.' the sniper argued with himself. It made his head hurt. Throwing his rifle Crosshair walked over to Caleb. "Put that down for a minute."

    It took a moment but Caleb complied. Grabbing the little medical equipment he had the clone rapped what he could. Both were confused by the others actions. When Crosshair walked back over to his rifle the humming of a lightsaber greeted him. "Relax. Cut it up; make it a crutch." Crosshair loved that rifle but with everything he had done to this boy letting him use it was a small way to help.

    Caleb grabbed it and cut it to fit his body. Walking was still difficult but slightly less painful. "Thank you."

    Crosshair just stared at him before walking away. This kid didn't deserve to have to grow up in such a dangerous galaxy, he didn't deserve to lose everything he had. Now Crosshair was thinking. The empire hated people who think for themselves. Things started to fall in place and the man finally realized he was the bad guy. The empire was the separatist but worse. Worse in the way that they made people believe they were good.

    Crosshair wasn't sure what to do next. All he really knew is whatever awful things he may face, he deserved it.

A Month of Whump Day 1: Environmental

Fandom: Star Wars The Bad Batch

Warning: violence

Summary: Hunter takes a few regs to scout the area around a recovered base. What will happen when they are caught in a rock slide?

    Hunter had been sent with some regs to scout the surroundings around the Republic base the battalion had just reclaimed. The other batch members were to stay back to help where needed. The sergeant heard the rocks before the others. Warning them they all tried to get out of the way. Pieces of the land crashed down on top of them.

    Hunter moved from under a thin layer of rock and mub. He escaped to the outside of the tomb. Sitting on the cold ground he started at the rocks. Had anyone survived? After a moment he was able to find the sound of labored breathing. The pain in his wrist already told him he was on his own for now. There was only one thing left to do; dig. 

    The rocks were slippery and sharp. It didn't take long for Hunter's gloves to be torn to shreds. His hands would follow in their footsteps.

    After an unknown amount of time the soldier finally found someone. By this point his hands were covered in his own blood. The reg, known as Butters, breathed healthy. Hunter assessed his injuries and carefully moved him from the pile of rocks to the flat ground. "You're gonna be alright." Butters couldn't keep his eyes open. Multiple bones in the man's body had been crushed. He was drenched in his own blood. Rain pulled the crimson liquid down to the ground where it mixed with the mub.

    Hunter returned to the rock pile. It didn't take too long for him to find someone else. However this time he was dead. The rock had demolished the man's skull. Blood lined the gray rock. Hunter jumped back with freight. Not letting Butters see he removed the body of the unknown clone and took it to the other side of the rock pile.

    After finding a few more dead soldiers and one survivor, Hunter started to give up. At least he found the medic. Of course he was dead as well so he took the supplies from him and went back to the two men.

    "I'm gonna take care of you two the best I can alright?" Butters nodded and the unnamed reg didn't move. "Hey reg?" Hunter moved over to him and shook him a little. Checking for a pulse he sighed and took him to the dead side of the pile.

    After taking care of Butters, Hunter returned to the pile. With only two more people underneath the rocks he once more listened for breathing. One of them had survived while the other hadn't. He would find the alive one first. Another no named reg.

    Pulling him from the pile the soldier went to check up on Butters. His breathing had slowed and it looked like he couldn't stay awake. "Butters, you alright?"

    In response the man tried to answer but instead blood flowed from his month. Hunter gave it everything he had. "It's" stuttered the reg, "alright."

    "You're gonna be fine." Not long after Butters would fall into a permanent sleep. Sadly Hunter moved him over to the dead pile.

    Apologizing to the last reg in the pile he walked over to the only surviving soldier of the ten that had come with him. Picking him up he walked back to the base. Quite a lot of time had passed since the clones had left. The sun was rising, leaving the sky a brilliant mix of reds, oranges, and yellows. Clouds reflected the colors slightly and the light rain caused a wonderful rainbow. If only Hunter could enjoy it.

    Guards welcomed the two and took the unnamed soldier to the medical center. Hunter walked with them and was taken over to a table. The medic assisting him stared at his blood-soaked hands. "What happened Hunter?" He asked.

    The sergeant never took his eyes off the only other survivor, "rock slide. Him and I are all that's left. How long is this going to take?" Some droids took the other back for surgery and Hunter finally looked at the medic. "Oh Tech hi."

    "Hello. This shouldn't take too long. Stay still." Tech grabbed a warm, damp, washcloth and pressed it to Hunter's skin. He hissed as it touched him.

    No long after Tech would begin he would finish. "There. Be careful."

    "We need to retrieve the bodies. I can't just leave them there." Hunter looked up at his brother. The numb look on his face concerned Tech.

    "Alright. We will need help. I will go find Crosshair and Wrecker. Some regs will also be required so I will go talk to the general." With that Tech left.

    Not long after the batch and a few others would leave to retrieve the bodies. Hunter warned them of the horrors that would be ahead once they got close.

    Arriving everyone grabbed a body. The regs knew who these people were, they fought alongside them. Hunter grabbed Butters gently and looked to the others. With everyone ready they set off once more. Walking back was excruciatingly silent.

    The soldiers would be buried near the base. Not long after the batch would be assigned their next mission. Hunter's hands would heal but be covered in small scars. The scars served as a cruel reminder of his failure to protect the regs put under him that day. For a while rain served the same sort of pain on a platter. One day he would enjoy the rain again, one day.