I Think Mihawk Would Be A Psychologist Wet Dream

I think Mihawk would be a psychologist wet dream

Like what the fuck is exactly wrong with him? Who fucking knows not them.

Like he is literally just this scene from b99

Rosa and Amy are obviously represented by Benn and Shanks respectively and this is a red haired party with another crew. Benn was assigned to making sure an overstimulated mihawk doesn’t kill anyone duty while Shanks plays the ever gracious host. Who knows why the psychologists are there I don’t

The fact that transponder snails are apparently also just captive wild snails. Is……..a choice.

Because what even are the logistics of this? Can all snails become transponder snails? How do they change clothes so quickly? Is there a transponder snail accessory store where you can get matching outfits and accessories for your snail like we do with phones? Are they sold or can you catch one wild? Do you need to train it? Just on what airwaves are they opperating. Is there a radius they can only take a call within? Do you have to pay for connection like are the snail 🐌 plans? Do you have to buy all the accessories the snail would need to change into or are they home made? Or does it just do that. Do you have to have a phone dedicated to people you call often so the snail can constinstently stay dressed that way? Because Doffy had hundreds. Are snail phone accessories a billion dollar business?

And finally what are the ethics on breeding snails soley for communication? And how do you even begin to do taht? Who was the first person to look at a snail go; you, 🐌? I have have plans for you. Who was that crazy bastard.

Something, something, wip, something, something, a more serious take on the mishanks reconciliation, something, something, it's unintentionally hilarious to write misunderstandings in the middle of a situation that is quite angsty.

“Shanks”. 

Benn was right, probably. Certainly. For sure. He was right about the whole, trying to make it work with Mihawk without talking things out first. It's kind of Shanks’ fault, really, the fact that things have gotten so carried out before he dared to breach the subject. 

“...It's just that you treat me like I’m made of glass, kind of? Like…”, he trails off, not sure how to state in cold facts what he perceives as Mihawk’s general unease in his presence. “With the, the migraine. Or the other day, at the bar”, or that first day, the moment he suggested going for a walk alone. The words start tumbling down in a rush the more he thinks about it. “And I get it, I do. I know you, uh, have your reservations about my current situation, but—”. 

“Shanks”. 

“I don’t think that’s fair for me, either, because it always feels as if I have to make it up to you for some unknown slight and. And. What I'm trying to say is that I know that you’re like, personally offended because I don’t have an arm, but that is much more your problem than it is mine, and while you make up your mind about—”. 

Mihawk’s hand is clammy when he puts it over his mouth, or perhaps he’s just sweaty. In the face of the swordsman’s visceral anger, Shanks almost follows the first instinct which tells him to lick it. 

Instead, he breathes laboriously through Mihawk's improvised gag until the other deems him calm enough to speak. 

“—I really, really do not need your pity”, he finishes the moment the swordsman’s hand stops silencing him, and faces the ensuing glare without so much as a twitch. 

But then the other’s shoulders’ slump and he looks… Dejected? Kind of sad. Helpless, even, even if it feels wrong to describe Mihawk as such. 

Shanks cannot, for the love of all that’s beautiful in the Grand Line, actually parse the swordsman’s behavior. He’s the one who crossed an ocean and offered him a metaphorical olive branch in the form of Luffy’s poster. If he regretted being on speaking terms with him, why has he kept coming back? What, did he expect him to have grown out his arm again, all of the sudden? 

He has even vaguely contemplated the hypothesis that Mihawk might want to get him into some kind of trap for the Marines, that the whole reconciliation is some sort of ruse, yet not even Benn buys the idea the times he’s discussed it with him. It doesn’t sound like Mihawk, agreeing to come back to Shanks just for the sake of doing the tedious, roundabout and kind of humiliating work of playing honeypot, yet— 

“...You invited me over for a drink”, Mihawk starts slowly. Weirdly insecure, for some reason? Punctuating the words as if he’s talking in a language he doesn’t totally get and wants to make sure that he’s being understood. Shanks nods, encouraging. “That then turned into a visit to Robelle, which then turned into—” us cuddling drunk on board, “me staying overnight”. Another nod. A bit puzzled, he sees how Mihawk… hesitates? And seems to think through the words before settling in: “I wasn’t sure you’d want to do that sort of thing with me. Again”, with a kind of intensity Shanks would personally reserve for relaying the location of Laugh Tale. 

…

“What, go on a date?”, he blurts, stopping on his tracks when Mihawk.

Stares.  

The fact that Viktor was right there! They were right beside each other and Five didn’t even look at him. Viktor who was his closest sibling and probably his best friend for all he knew the concept of it. Viktor who made him those disgusting marshmallow sandwiches for months hoping he’d come back to eat them. Voice who was all Viktor had when they were kids didn’t even look at him. The world was ending they were about to die and Five didn’t share a moment with a single member of the family he crossed timelines to save. STEVEN! WHAT WAS THE RECIPE!

I KNOW! YOU KNOW!

i can totally see mihawk hating being called 'hawk eyes mihawk' instead of 'dracule mihawk' or just 'hawk eyes' he totally complains to shanks like "it feels redundant and silly. it makes me sound ridiculous. i'm a serious man, this is just absurd," every single time he's in the news or gets a new bounty and they smash all his names together. shanks just laughs and says "actually it's totally badass, which you are. you're the coolest!" and mihawk's secretly pleased but still all pouty like "you're a child. you would think it is" and shanks just laughs and kisses him on the forehead