Today I Had An Epiphany: Hannibal Must Mince Drivers With Road Rage.

Today I had an epiphany: Hannibal must mince drivers with road rage.

Like imagine this man cruising on the highway, jamming out to Bach’s Goldberg Variations, having a grand old time as Hannibal is bound to do and then some truck decides to drive up his ass.

Rude doesn’t even begin to describe it when the trucker flips Hannibal the bird. You can bet that license plate is already committed to memory. Soon thereafter, the truck driver’s name will be catalogued within Hannibal’s rolodex, alongside the business cards of pigs to be served…

The driver would make a splendid sorbet.

Not to mention, the dog in the truck driver’s passenger seat, would make an excellent contribution to Will’s pack of furry friends.

Astrology, MBTI, and All

If you’re looking for astrology, MBTI, or other shit-posts you have reached your destination. Look no further. - (d.n.k)

Things the Venus Signs Would Say

The Zodiac as Jessi Songs

The Zodiac as MARINA Songs

The Zodiac as Jackson Wang Songs

Zodiac Opposites as Lana Del Rey Songs

My Astrological Playlist <3

the last cookie

"Hello, everyone! As I’m sure you all know, we have a new addict joining us today." The woman smiled and turned her gaze away from the audience, towards backstage, "Bob, would you care to introduce yourself?"

The woman frowned at the lack of response and turned to the waiting audience.

"Just a moment, please."

She hurried backstage.

There was some shuffling and whispering behind the velvety, red curtain.

"Alright! Go get 'em, tiger!"  

A man of short stature, Bob, stumbled out into the light. It was almost as if he was pushed. He felt the curious stare of his new support group.

The man smiled uneasily and started to speak into the placed microphone.

"As Susan told you guys, I'm Bob and I am an addict."

"Hi, Bob." The group chorused.

Bob blinked, inhaled sharply, and continued.

"Well, I, uh, haven't done this in awhile. So please bear with me!"

The red head poked her head out from behind the curtains.

"Don't worry, you're doing great!" She exclaimed before disappearing.

"Thanks, Susan!" Bob shouted in her general direction, wherever the hell that was.

There were a few wallops from the audience.

"Okay, okay! Now, where was I?" He mumbled and gazed down.

The theater was deadly silent.

"Oh, yeah! I'm addicted to drugs."

A few group members chuckled, and a woman clad in black shouted, "Aren't we all?!"

Once it quieted down, another member asked, "What drugs?"

Everyone in the crowd guessed.

"The newbie's an alcoholic like me for sure."

"No way! Meth is Bob's poison."

"Shut up about your damn meth, Maggie! He ain't got no marks, and with that raspy voice of his, Bob's a smoker!"

The woman, Susan, emerged from behind the curtains, seemingly fed up with the nonsense.

"Okay! Okay! Everybody settle down." Susan had to refrain from smiling at the group's antics.

She turned to look at Bob.

"Please continue. And if you aren't okay with answering any questions, that's totally fine!" Susan jumped off the stage and sat next to the woman clad in all black.

"Thank you, Susan." Bob smiled gratefully and nodded at her.

She gave him a thumbs-up back.

"Everyone..." Bob got the attention of the audience.

The group members were sitting at the tips of their seats, eager to see who had guessed right.

"...I'm addicted to nicotine and LSD."

"Ha, I told you, Maggie!" The young man who had guessed that Bob smoked rubbed it in the older woman's face.

"Oh, shut your gaping trap, Alorian." Maggie slid down in her seat.

"You know it only opens for you, right?" Alorian wiggled his dark eyebrows suggestively.

Maggie pulled out a thread and needle and snarled, " I oughta sew that mouth of yours closed!"  

Before Susan could take action, Bob did.

"Um, excuse me." He interrupted from on stage.

The theater went silent.

Bob swore that he could have heard Maggie's needle drop.

He gulped from the daunting tension.

"Well, if I wasn't erm...tripping balls from the LSD, I'd have probably done more," Bob admitted.

A few members chuckled.

Bob encouraged, continued to speak. "And Maggie, sorry to disappoint about that meth."

"It's mighty fine, honey!" Maggie hollered from her seat next to a sulking Alorian.

Alorian wished that Maggie would speak to him that way.

The audience clapped and cheered and whistled at the exchange.

Susan walked up to the stage and Bob helped her up.

"What do y'all say to some refreshments?"

The group's hollering spoke for itself.

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Out in the dining hall, addicts chattered and ate.

Bob was hungry and, of course, hiding in the corner.

Susan snuck up and squeezed his shoulder.

"We don't bite, you know! Unless we're eating food." She laughed at her joke.

"I know, I know..." Bob fiddled with his fingers while his stomach growled.

Loudly.

Susan took notice.

"Are you hungry? Come and get some food." She motioned with her hand towards the tables.

Bob didn't respond, focused on his hands.

Susan took Bob's hands into her own, bringing him back to reality.

"Care to tell me what's wrong?"

Bob looked away, pulling his hands back. Susan’s smile dampened. 

The man seemed to curl in on himself. "It's just...you all seem to know each other so well. I feel like a stranger at a family dinner." 

"Well, you were great in the theater. They were cracking up. Besides, the only way to not be a stranger is to get familiar."

Susan had a point. Bob's stomach furiously growled again.

"Let's go together." Susan smiled to reassure him.

Food and someone who can take over the conversation if things get awkward?

"Alright!" Bob was convinced.

As the two of them left the corner, the woman clad in all black approached.

"Hey, you did well up there. It was way better than my first time!"

The woman's voice was deep, deeper than Bob's own.

Before he could stop himself, Bob asked, "What's your name?"

"Dani. Nice to meet-"

"Are you a man?" Bob was curious.

Susan moved, almost protectively, to Dani's side.

"If you're transphobic, you can leave. Right now." Susan hissed.

Bob was taken aback.

Dani whirled around to face Susan. "Don't worry, it's okay. I got this," and turned their gaze to Bob. "But seriously, are you transphobic?"

Bob cleared his throat awkwardly. "No, no, I'm just curious. I didn't mean to offend either of you. I'm sorry if I crossed a line there."

"No worries, Bob, you're cool. Susan, what have you got to say for yourself?"

Her face was one of regret. "I apologize, Bob. That was unwarranted. We had some experiences in the past and..."

Susan looked at Dani.

"...I did not want Daniella to get hurt."

"You need to stop blaming yourself. It wasn't your fault, Susan."

The red head looked troubled.

"I-I'll be right back." She murmured and hurried away.

Dani continued on without showing any care for Susan.

"Shouldn't we go check on her?" Bob furrowed his brows.

Dani stopped Bob in his tracks.

"Susan'll be good. She probably needs a moment alone. She kind of burdens herself with stuff that she shouldn't." Dani concluded.

"Oh, alright." Bob frowned a little. He didn't follow Susan because he wanted to respect her privacy. But what if...

"Asides from all that, I'm a woman. My transition from Daniel to Daniella hasn't been the easiest." She sighed.

"What would you prefer I call you?" Bob tilted his head and was taken out of his thoughts.

"Dani or Daniella is fine. Thanks for asking." Bob noticed that Dani had grown weary.

"I'm sure that you've had to explain this many times! So thank you, Dani, for answering my question...I--I need to learn when to shut up."

"Maybe. Just maybe, Bob." Dani's smile was small.

"So enough about me, what about you?" Dani questioned to get away from all the prior misunderstanding.

"What do you mean?" Bob was puzzled.

"What's your story? Like...why are you here?" Dani gestured to the building surrounding them with her hands.

"I suppose I do owe you my life story after all of that," Bob admitted.

"Bob, you don't owe me anything. Share what you're comfortable with sharing..." She whispered thoughtfully, "...I understand that some stories are too difficult to tell."

Bob was silent, thinking to himself while he fiddled with his fingers.

Dani jumped when he began to speak lowly. Bob looked at Dani, but it was like she wasn't even there.

"My husband, Adam, died a couple years ago. Not long after that, I...fell apart. I started smoking again. At first, it was one cigarette. Then a pack. Then two. Eventually, the cigarettes weren't enough and..."

"That's when you started using LSD." Dani finished.

"Yeah. My kid, Monte, he... had enough of it. He didn't want to deal with me anymore. Can't blame him, either..."

Dani was growing concerned.

"Adam helped me get clean the first time. I owe it to him and my kid to stop this."

Dani gently took Bob by the shoulders.

"You owe it to yourself to get clean, too...you get me?"

Bob gazed up from his twitching hands to look at Dani.

"I get you."

"Okay, good."

Dani and Bob both felt a tap on their shoulders.

"Gah!" Bob bounced back.

Dani stifled a laugh.

Susan had unintentionally snuck up on them.

"Oh! I'm sorry, Bob. First, I accuse you of being transphobic. Now I'm scaring the bejeebers out of you. I really can't get this right."

"It's fine, Susan," Bob grumbled, terrified of her stealth for the second time.

"I overheard your story. I wanted to tell you that any reason to get clean is a good one. But getting clean for yourself is important too. I'm also sorry about Adam and how I acted before."

"It's really, alright." Bob accepted her apology full-heartedly but wasn't sure if he could get clean for his own sake.

"And..." Susan slung her arm around Dani,

"...you've got us rooting for you!"

Dani sighed, trapped in Susan's embrace.

"Oh, jeez. Thanks, guys." Bob couldn't hide his smile.

Then, the screaming began.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Oh, shit!" A young man no older than twenty dodged an empty plastic container thrown by none other than Maggie.

"Alorian, get your stupid frat boy ass over here! I know you ate the last cookie."

"You love this frat boy ass Mags, and you know it!" Alorian giggled evilly.

Bob sipped at his newly attained water.

Dani nudged Bob on the shoulder, "Good entertainment, right?"

"Those two are better than the cast on Jersey Shore." Bob grinned, basking in the drama.

Before Maggie could throw a spoon at a cornered Alorian, a fuming Susan intervened.

There were audible groans of disappointment from around the hall. People were betting over how Alorian was going to get his ass kicked by Mags this time. From the sound of it, Alorian had taken the last cookie, and so the majority of the members were hoping for Mags to suplex him. However, Maggie had taken to throwing kitchenware instead. The only one who did mind the potential suplexing and Tupperware tossing, was of course, Susan.

"Ay caramba..." Maggie whispered, clutching the spoon tightly to her chest.

"Ay caramba, indeed." Remarked Alorian, impressed by the amount of red gathering in Susan's cheeks.

They were in for a good, old-fashioned Susan scolding.

Susan pinched the two of them by their ears.

"Ow! Ow! Ow! Let go!" Maggie and Alorian cried, trying to pull away from the red head’s vice grip.

"Why must the two of you act like children? What is going on here?" Susan demanded furiously.

Nobody responded.

"Alorian, spill. Otherwise, I'll call your mom."

Everyone could see the horrible fear in Alorian's eyes.

"No, no, no, please don't!" He begged.

Susan prompted, "Spill, Alorian."

"Okay, fine...Maggie falsely accused me of taking the last cookie!" He blurted out.

"Is this true?" Susan turned her seething gaze onto poor Maggie.

"I accused him because I know he did it!" Maggie huffed in agitation. "Stupid, stupid frat boy..." She mumbled under her breath.

"What was that?" Susan pinched Maggie's ear harder.

"Hey! Punish me instead." Alorian defended the older woman.

"And why should I do that?" Susan interrogated.

He thought for a moment.

"Cuz' Maggie shouldn't get to have all the fun," Alorian smirked.

"This is fun to you? What sort of kinky shi-" Maggie stopped as Susan glared at her.

"Please, continue," Susan remarked.

"No thanks!" Maggie averted her gaze.

"You're not getting off that easy. Mags, you're forty years old! I expect this crap from frat boy over here..." Susan pointed at Alorian.

"...not you." Susan sighed tiredly.

"But Susan, he stole the last cookie!" Maggie cried.

"Did not," Alorian whined.

"Did too!" Maggie screeched.

"Did not~" The young man sang.

Susan yanked the both of them closer.

"So help me, if you continue to act like children, I will reprimand you like children." The woman spat out.

Susan pointedly looked at the troublesome duo, "Do you understand me?"

Maggie stole a fleeting glance at Alorian.

"I understand." She whispered, shivering from the intense air conditioning in the theater.

Alorian tsked and wrapped his sweatshirt around Maggie, "I understand too."

Maggie stared at the boy, weirded out.

"Can't have my old lady dying on me now, can I?" Alorian breathed.

"Whatever, frat boy. I'm keeping the sweater." Maggie tugged it on.

Alorian fondly smiled with blushing cheeks.

"That's fine with me, Mags. Will keeping my sweater make up for me stealing the last cookie?"

The crowd gasped at his admission.

"Aha! I knew it. You lying thief!" Maggie exclaimed.

"I would hate to say it, but with that ratty ass hair of yours, I'm afraid that you're the filthy one here."

"You know I still have my sewing kit, right?"

"Uh oh."

The two continued to bicker as Susan went to hangrily eat crackers.

"Still better than Jersey Shore?" Dani asked, somehow having attained popcorn.

Bob stole a handful and confirmed, "Yep."

"Maggie looks good for forty, don't you agree?" Bob asked Dani.

"Well, obviously. Mags is great. What are you, interested?" Dani munched on some more popcorn.

"No. I'm still clinging onto Adam."

Dani could see that familiar reminiscence in Bob's eyes.

"I love Adam...but not how Alorian loves Maggie."

"Ah, so you noticed that too?" Dani laughed lightly.

"They fight like an old married couple, and believe me, I'd know." Bob deadpanned.

"Everyone wants them to date, but there's Cockblock Keith."

"Who's Cockblock Keith?"

"Maggie's mean, leech of a brother. If Keith ever comes around, don't leave her alone with him. He's a manipulative bastard who doesn't prioritize anyone or anything but himself."

"Gotcha." Bob would save this information for later.

If only everyone knew that it was Susan who had swiped the last cookie.

Something I made while dealing with my own stuff and hoping drawing this would pick me up somehow. Maybe it worked.

FT my cat. His name is Mischief

The Signs as MARINA Songs

*Check your sun, venus, ascendant/rising, and moon sign*

Aries: Starring Role

We all crave the spotlight, but sometimes it's like you'll die if you don't have it. It's okay to be second or third best, you know. You refuse to settle for "less" when something or someone you desire is unattainable. You tend to refuse to take no for an answer, and usually percieve it as a challenge instead. This upsets a great deal of people in your life. You need to learn to walk away. This will spare not only others, but also yourself.

Taurus: Hollywood

You're a creature of comfort and normally that isn't a bad thing. However, at times, you're too materialistic for your own good. You overindulge and forget to enjoy the simple things. Everyone deserves better, but don't overlook the great things you already possess. Otherwise, you'll find that someone else will scoop them up for themselves. Material possessions hold no sustenance. They are fleetingly fulfilling. You should focus on appreciating what you possess now and who and whatever fulfills you.

Gemini: Can't Pin Me Down

Your contradicting nature makes it impossible for anyone to pin you down. You're elusive and sometimes difficult for people to understand. Many people assume the worst of you, mostly because you don't want them to understand you and so they don't even try. You want to be undefinable and hence you undergo consistent metamorphasis and are forever changing. It must be exhausting and frustrating. You need to take a look inside yourself and see that you're complex and interesting as you are. You don't need to change all the time for people to see that. Try to be yourself, whoever that may be, and let people see the real you before they see through your masks.

Cancer: The State of Dreaming

Sometimes we don't have as much control over our lives as we'd like. It's almost as if we're all living in a play and can't deviate from the script. Your whole life feels like it's predestined and you feel as if can't make your destiny your own. This is by no means true. Your fate lies in your own two, capable hands. We are all that we make of ourselves, so don't let your choices be defined by anyone other than you. Your fate is your own and so, it's solely up to you to wake up and sculpt it.

Leo: Oh No!

You're very goal-orientated. When you want something, you'll work tirelessly to attain it. This doggedness of yours is both admirable and destructive. You have the tendency to live and set goals for the future, rather than the present. The future can wait. It's better for you to live in the here and now. Sometimes, no matter what we do, we fail. The acceptance of failure is a tough pill to swallow and swallow it you must. When you want to achieve something, you can be single-minded. So when you fail, it's disastrous. Try being more open-minded and interacting with the present.

Virgo: Are You Satisfied?

Nothing seems to be good enough for you. Your perfectionism is insatiable and hurts not only yourself but also those around you. You would rather take the more challenging path if it yielded better results. Your aptitude for success is admirable, but there is more to life than making it. You could have all the wealth in the world, and still, feel all alone. Often, this is the case. Yes, you should focus on developing your career and succeeding in life. However, it's important to place an emphasis on living your life and not working it away. Go out and kick it with friends. Live it up and have fun whenever you can, otherwise, you'll find that your work has consumed your life and that you hadn't really lived at all.

Libra: Savages

You're all about harmony and keeping the peace. You wield the powers of a diplomat and you utilize them well. However, you put up a false front as all diplomats must. You suppress your innermost thoughts and feelings. You smile and bear with everything. It's excruciating balancing those scales all the time, isn't it? You need to recognize that the scales tipping are human nature. Conflict and discord are primitive and present throughout the history of the world. The truth is, people are horrible sometimes. You can't prevent it, you can't escape it, but you can most certainly recognize it. You would also benefit from embracing it, on occasion.

Scorpio: Power and Control

You give so little and yet expect and demand so much. You want people to trust and confide in you, but in order for that to happen, you must do the same. You believe that opening up to others will leave you vulnerable and turn the tide in their favor. Relationships aren't supposed to be a rollercoaster of power and control with shifting tides. Their about being someone's equal in every matter. Equally shared trust. A balance of power. You are so afraid to relinquish your power that you'd prefer to sacrifice relationships instead. Practice giving and taking in equal measure, even though it may be scary. You'll benefit from it in the end.

Sagittarius: Primadonna

All you've ever wanted was the world, right? You're vivacious and cheerful in the eyes of others. You crave adoration and want to be liked by everyone. Your life is one of towering highs and drastic lows. You rise and then you fall. Deep down inside, you're lonesome. You need to fill your life with things that make you happy and live for yourself, not for others. Be a healthy kind of selfish, and it'll go a long way.

Capricorn: Teen Idle

You're more than capable of achieving whatever your heart desires. So why are you letting your fear of failure hold you back? You don't want to grow up and look back on your life, just to realize that you've lived one full of regret. Failure is terrifying, but so is living an unfulfilled life. Experience life to the fullest and don't let your fears stop you, otherwise, you'll find yourself wishing that you'd been a teen idle.

Aquarius: I Am Not a Robot

Believe it or not, it's not a crime to embrace your humanity. You're human after all! You have feelings and you should allow yourself to feel them. To protect yourself from the threat of others, you present this stone-cold exterior to ward people off. You need warmth, affection, and attention just like anyone else. It won't kill you to seek it out either, although it may feel that way at first. You have to learn that not everyone is out to get you. You're doing yourself more harm than good by shutting people out. Let others in, let them know you, and let them see you. It'll be worth it in the end.

Pisces: Lies

We all have those attachments and relationships that we know that we shouldn't have. Yet, we still yearn for and maintain them. Sometimes we prefer to hear and conjure lies rather than tell ourselves the truth as the truth is usually too painful to bear. You need to leave your dream world of lies and start making your own reality. Why dream of a world full of fake love when you deserve to find and experience it in real life?

im so sorry this is my first time watching Hannibal but I couldnt take this scene seriously because it reminded me of THIS