Klaus:*gets Pulled Over By A Cop*

klaus: *gets pulled over by a cop*

klaus: officer, i’m colorblind. i didn’t know it was a red light.

cop: okay, but you stole this car.

I feel like Vanya is the person to apologise to a mannequin if she bumps into it.

On the other end of the scale, Klaus is the person who strokes the clothing on a mannequin before realising it is a real person.

𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐝𝐢𝐟𝐟𝐞𝐫𝐞𝐧𝐭 𝐤𝐚𝐬𝐬𝐚𝐦 𝐠𝐮𝐢𝐝𝐞

Are you also sick and tired of following guides on how to get Kassam but still failing at the end? Is he still not bringing you breakfast on the second day, doesn’t show any interest in you during speed dating, and absolutely did not say your name? Me too bro, me too.

But I think I cracked the code.

How you might ask. I got Kassam by being the most glamourous, most extra, loudest, and “you’re so out there and I don’t think I can keep up with this” MC. Yeah, you’ve read correctly. I didn’t even plan on getting him. I was trying to finish the Gary route at least once, but DJ got us fallin’ in love, twice.

And this got me thinking. Except for those guides who suggest acting as bland and neutral as possible, there are other players who also say that they got Kassam while acting the complete opposite of what the guides tell you.

So, how do you get Kassam to say your name?

Short answer: be consistent, don’t be a hypocrite, stick to one personality, don’t start drama but stand up for yourself if necessary without fearing of hurting other people’s feelings

Long answer: buckle up.

Shoutouts to @ravenadottir for encouraging me to post this on my own blog ❤︎

Here’s a freaking index because this post will be that long.

Kassam’s Personality

The Ideal MC

Busting Myths

Casa Amor

Checkpoints to Confirm MC’s Personality

Summary

1. Kassam’s Personality

I think we have a good idea of how Kassam is. But there are some hidden things behind his first reserved nature.

Depending on when and if you decide to spend gems on his scenes, no matter if he said your name or not, he tells you that he needs some time to open up when meeting new people. He likes getting to know new folks – that’s what he likes about being a DJ – but he first needs some time to break out of his shell.

However, he is not shy, he’s just an introvert. He’s confident with who he is. And with the right person, he will reveal some sides of him that certainly, I did not expect him to have.

I will soon have a post with screenshots with the following scenes:

runs up and jumps on the swing chair in CA

heart eyes when you say that you don’t care what your Villa-LI thinks about you flirting with Kassam

admits and laughs about the fact that it’s not hard for him to kick out a couple when the Villa has to decide who should leave

says on prom night that he misses the drama. when you say “it’s not over yet”, he responds with “trying to steal the spotlight, are we 😏?”

rambles on for several screens about getting multiple pets when you answer that you would spend the money on a house for you two to grow old (free scene)

happily agrees with you when you say that you’d spend the money on expensive hotels and vacations (gem scene on the balcony on the baby day)

jealous when you dance with someone else first during the heart race challenge

wants children (not important, just wanted to put it out there hehe)

Well, how can we describe Kassam in a few words?

confident with who he is

knows what he wants and doesn’t let anything stop him from pursuing it, no matter if he makes enemies along the way

doesn’t care about loyalty while being single

calm, quiet but enjoys everything from the sidelines

jealous when in a relationship

Why is it important to know how he really is? Because he wants a partner who is just like him.

2. The Ideal MC

Kassam showed interest in me during CA but only during the second round of the speed dating thing. Why? Because my MC was inconsistent with what she said and did.

If I had been more consistent, I definitely would have got him to say my name, trust me.

Now, what the hell does “being consistent” mean?

One quality he looks for in a partner is that they should know what they want. They should have made up their mind about something and stick to that opinion, no matter who controversial and or hurtful it may be.

And that’s exactly what MC should do.

Of what do you think when I say “Lottie?” Yeah, “girl code”. Because that’s what she was constantly preaching. Even when Kassam couldn’t care less about loyalty, the fact that Lottie (uh most of the time) put the girls first and vehemently defended herself when confronted that being loyal doesn’t bring you far on love island is what Kassam admired about her.

Why did Kassam only like Lottie? Let’s look at Marisol and Priya. At the very beginning, Marisol preaches that she puts herself first, but when you think about it, until CA she got stuck in a friendship couple with Bobby and the shitstorm about her and Rocco obviously affected her. She did care about other people’s opinions.

Priya, idk, she said that playing a prank on the boys is immature, but look who’s jumping on beds on CA haha jk

Hope could have been a possible candidate. I even hc that he likes an “obsessive” partner, but she was too much, I guess. Also, he wouldn’t have had a chance anyway, knowing how much Hope wanted to get back together with Noah, so why waste time and energy on her when you have someone who is stuck in a friendship couple with Ibrahim?

If you pay for the gem scene with Marisol, you get some intel about what Kassam looks for in a partner. This shit opened my fucking eyes.

“A girl who is true to herself. One who doesn’t mind putting herself ahead of others.”

This is what Kassam saw in Lottie and this is exactly what MC needs to be as well.

As you can see, my MC couldn’t be boring for shit like why should she? It takes like 15 minutes to speed run one day, what tf do you expect haha. Like I said, I wasn’t even planning on getting Kassam.

So, what I’d say is that you should do the following:

pick one personality (people pleaser, outgoing, mean, shy, laidback, drama queen etc.) and stick to it

don’t start drama or add to drama unless you were pulled into it (see example below)

remember what your opinions about certain topics are bc they will come up later and you have to confirm them. don’t be hypocritical

if you promised something, keep that promise

I am sure that Kassam will say your name even if your MC was loud bc the other boxes are all ticked. He will definitely show interest in you during the second round of speed dating, but since I can’t keep track of what my MC said or did, I can’t confirm that to 100%.

Some examples for you about promises and drama:

If you picked “i always put myself first” on Day 1, you better sneak off and flirt with Gary while Marisol and Hannah are arguing about breakfast or you side with Marisol and tell her that that’s what Hannah had to hear if you didn’t show any interest in Gary

Prime example on how to handle drama: When you visit Marisol and Bobby/Ibrahim at the gym area, stay out of their argument first until Marisol asks for your opinion. Your MC should side with that person whose opinions fits to that what MC said earlier that day. Do not say “that doesn’t involve me” twice. Kassam doesn’t want somebody with no backbone.

If you promised Bobby and Marisol to play peacemaker, do it and don’t flirt with Jacub because you won’t have time left to do so.

If you said no to them twice (Bobby confirms that you won’t help during that conversation), flirt with Jacub and skip right to Chelsea and Jacub picking their dates. Don’t resolve one of the two girl conflicts because you have some time to kill. It won’t make you look good in Kassam’s eyes

If you told your best female friend that you like Lucas, repeat that when asked later after every girl had their date with Lurik. Your best friend even says something along the lines of “well, that’s consistent with what you said earlier.”

If you rubbed yourself against the boys during the slime challenge more than necessary, tell Lottie that you don’t care about her girl code talk and watch Hope and Lottie being speechless. So satisfying.

3. Busting Myths

My favorite part. Let’s get into it, shall we? Ask me if you need additional explanations.

You don’t need a new account, nor do you have to delete your cache in advance.

You don’t have to wear only the default clothes, thank God.

Gem dialogue options don’t lessen your chance. Be real, from a company’s perspective, does it make sense to not make your players spend real money on gems?

You can pick any LI on Day 1 you like. You don’t have to choose Rocco or Gary. Kassam’s route is not locked with certain Villa LIs (but with Elijah’s perhaps, see reply in notes)

All choices matter and will be taken into consideration for your heart score with Kassam but especially those on Day 14 (or my score was just critical that day haha)

Kassam doesn’t value loyalty. That’s not what he liked about Lottie (see above).

4. Day 14 – Casa Amor

Like I said, either my heart score was very critical when I arrived there or the choices do matter and are highly sensitive because I tried to recreate Kassam being interested in me by restarting the day, but omg I couldn’t do it! Maybe you can tell me something about your experience here :D

Either way, certain criteria have to be fulfilled on your first day at CA:

Don’t show interest in any other CA boy except Kassam and Elijah. (edit: lethia.killua said that they didn’t flirt with Elijah and got him while I did and did not to see if that would make a difference and it did for me. tell me about your experience!)

During the introduction, say hi to Elijah, wink at him, and say hi to Kassam.

To see if you’re successful, the following should happen in part 2 of the day:

Elijah is your first speed date. He must be shooed away by Kassam because he stayed longer at your table. When he leaves, he must look back at you and say “bye MC 🥰!”

Once I figure out how to make MC not be “one of the most fun, outgoing girl” Kassam has ever known, he should say my name at the very beginning haha

5. Checkpoints to Confirm MC’s Personality

There are certain points where you can check how your MC appears to others. Here are the very few that popped into my head:

on day 1 in the evening, Marisol will give you her two cents about the ideal type of your current LI

After Priya stole your LI and you go out to ask the boys to pick you, they should express their opinion about you. -> for me, it was Bobby (!) saying that he’s not sure bc MC was so out there (and you are not, my dear Sir?!)

Date with Jacub! Pick his correct answers (“speed” and “I do whatever I want” or sth) and he should say either “You don’t rub me as someone who goes after what they want. You always put your friends first”, “You don’t say what you think out loud” or that you are true to yourself, which I never got before haha

Gem scene with Marisol at CA when she makes Graham make her smoothies (see above)

Got some more? Tell me!

6. Summary

Mix the sexy, playful, dramatic side of Lucas with Gary’s chill side and wish to have children, insert Jacub’s desire to have a partner who is true to themselves and always put themselves first, sprinkle in Ibrahim’s anxiety to open up to new people and 💥 you have ✨Kassam✨

Reblog this one right here when you got him hehe

Good luck 🍀

That took me hours to write, holy shit. Leave an emoji in the notes, slide into my DMs, or leave a tip, any interaction is appreciated ♥

dave: i need you

klaus: for?

dave: -ever.

klaus: *voice cracking* oH.

klaus and five are both the wine aunts but consider:

five as the classy red-wine aunt who could kill you with a raised eyebrow

klaus as the actually addicted aunt who is just the butt of all the jokes- oh wait

thats just the plot, sorry ignore me

See, Harry’s described as being tall in DH, but then I still decided to make him this tiny little thing and ship him with all these tall people like Ron, Cedric, and Blaise. Smol Harry is amazing.