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---- ᴛʜᴇ ʟɪꜱᴛ

left to run - kuroo tetsurou genre: angst | notes: ft. you | 1.7k words - nothing held kuroo back when he first saw you but now everything is holding him back to go back to your arms,

deja vu - kuroo tetsurou . ( part I ) genre: fluff to angst | notes: song fic and ft. kenma | 1.0k words - kuroo fell in love with someone only to get deja vu of you.

mr. perfectly fine - kuroo tetsurou . ( part ii ) genre: angst to relief(?) | notes: song fic | 2.5k words - part two of kuroo’s deja vu: where he came back to you

among us - kuroo tetsurou genre: fluff | notes: among us with nekoma, event fic | 0.9k words - prompt: “Let’s pretend you didn’t say that because I want confess first.”

old fashioned lovers - kuroo tetsurou genre: angst | notes: mention of cheating, hbd kuroo, twilight reference | 0.7k words - where you and kuroo fell out of love.

mr. perfectly fine - kuroo tetsurou . ( entry no. 2 ) genre: angst to relief(?) | notes: song fic, cursing | 2.5k words - part two of kuroo's deja vu: where he came back to you part 1 | part 2 the playlist of this two shot: click here stream mr. perfectly fine by taylor swift enjoy your meal!

“The greatest thing you’ll ever learn is love and be loved in return,” - Christian, Moulin Rouge

The marriage went on like Summer to Winter if you asked Kuroo, the marriage went on like a warm embrace of the sun but throughout the entire time he was burning, the love went on like autumn with leaves slowly falling apart, and their spark froze like stuck in the winter time. As much as he hates it, he’s in the same state like his parents once did, he is experiencing the things he didn’t want to experience.

Screaming at each other at the top of their lungs, here they are again arguing on something stupid. Kuroo never knew what went wrong but maybe he went too fast, maybe he changed the seasons too fast. Here, they are now seeing their pictures in frames slowly breaking, the glass all shattering, the marriage was a mistake, they both knew that. Kuroo never wanted his love life to be in this way, he never wanted this. All he wanted was to be loved and to be loved in return.

Now here he is, wishing he never walked on the aisle, wishing he can just run towards your arms, wishing he can wake up because the idiotic fool that he is, is still him living on his deja vu. Kuroo never meant to push everyone away, he blamed himself, maybe the marriage is slowly falling apart because it was his fault, maybe his marriage is falling apart because everytime he looks at his lover all he thinks and sees is you. But here is now, wondering what could’ve been if he never let you go.

A knock was heard in the door three times, seems like his lover is home. He opened the door uttering and wishing it was you. There he met the same eyes he fought with last night, if he could and if he only could he would go back to you. The marriage of his wasn’t even healthy anymore, a kiss on a forehead was nothing but a mere routine expected from him by his lover, a recall of saying ‘I’m home’ is nothing but a call that his lover is already in the house because it wasn’t exactly a home.

He still remembers how his eyes wonder yours, and whenever his eyes lingers to his lover he thinks of yours. He still remembers how your lips curved whenever you smile, and when his lover smiles you always cross his mind. The day went by just like the wind, such grace but too fast. He slept on the couch without muttering a sweet goodnight. His lover went to sleep without humming a soft hymn to make him fall asleep. He did all things he once did to you with his lover but his lover is nothing but a mere lookalike that he wished he never knew.

It was morning again and they both separated on the way to their work without saying a soft morning or a kiss for adoration, they just went to their work without a word. On the side of Kenma, he knew Kuroo would eventually fall apart, he looked at him again, watching him tearing himself apart. Kenma doesn’t know if Kuroo was crying because of his lover or maybe he was crying because of you. He doesn't know what to say to make him better, he hates this feeling, he hates this sight but there’s nothing else he can do.

“How is [Name]?”

Kuroo’s tired voice echoed in Kenma's room, making Kenma flinch for he hadn't seen his friend for a long time. He saw Kuroo with bags on his hand, Kenma immediately figured what’s going on, without a ring on Kuroo’s hand, Kenma knew: Kuroo was already tired.

“Aren’t you gonna ask, if I’m okay?”

Kuroo flopped down on the near couch whilst meeting Kenma’s gaze. “[Name] is...doing great.”

Kenma’s response was short and he broke the gaze between him and Kuroo. Kuroo wants to ask a lot of things but who he is, he can’t undo what’s already done, he can’t even play the game anymore because he already lost. He begged himself to keep saying ‘It’s really love.’ But who is he fooling?

“Why now, Kuroo? Why now?”

Kenma put down his gaming console and sat on the floor staring at Kuroo laying on his couch. “I miss [Name], Kenma. I miss [Name] so much--” Kenma just looks at his friend and softly uttered “[Name] is doing fine without you, Kuroo.” Kenma stood up once again and called someone and Kuroo wished it was you. He wished that Kenma was calling you. To his luck, Kenma was actually on the call with you.

Oh, how he wished he was Kenma, he had no rights to grab the phone from Kenma and talk to you, he had no right to call you his, he had no rights to tell you that he is missing you too much, he had no rights to call you his love. He just wishes to go back.

----------------------------------

“But what is grief? If not love persevering.” - Vision, WandaVision

“The usuals?” Osamu Miya asked you while you waited patiently in line to order the famous onigiri of Osamu, with a nod he proceeded to work with a smile on his face. You reached out for your money and paid Osamu your bill. “I’ll see you again tomorrow, [Last Name]!” He announces and you give a little wave as you leave his stall.

Upon entering the night train, you saw a familiar bedhead and next to him was a guy with dark hair with a dash of blonde reminded you of the call that you had with Kenma, yesterday. A call that seemed to be misdialed but it seems the message was clear. “Kenma?”

Your voice seemed to be captivated by the two, only three people were on the train and it happened to be the former best friends, one who watched the two from the beginning, the other one who back then was ‘Mr. Every single day in the end, I will be by your side’, and you. Their eyes began to wonder, if you’ve been there the entire time, the two wondered if it’s okay to see you again after all this time. You, on the other hand, walked towards them with a smile on your face. “It’s been so long..” You muttered.

Kuroo just stared at you once again, as if you’re the most fragile thing in the world yet he couldn’t hold you, like you’re the most precious thing in the world but he couldn’t hold you tight.

“[Na-Name]..”

Was it the joy or was it the fear made Kuroo stutter when he said your name, it seems like he’s been planning to say your name for a period of time but you, now standing in front of him is something he didn’t understand, you’re in front of him now but yet, you feel so further away from him.

“Hey..Kuroo..”

As if he was wishing you’ll call him as Tetsurou, as if he was wishing he could be yours once again, as if he was hoping everything would be the way it was. You sat on a vacant seat and read the situation that you three is currently in. You noticed the restless eyes of Kuroo and Kenma watched with worry written in his eyes. Here he is watching you both once again, he would notice Kuroo’s hand trembles a bit, he watched your hand get sweaty. Kuroo just wished you noticed his ring on his hand that was no longer there.

You did notice it, you noticed it because you missed him so much. But here you are, wondering if the pain is actually worth it if you’re seeing him again falling.

“So, where are you guys going to go?”

You asked, you still had that care you both had for them years ago, you still got that sweet gaze that always leaves Kuroo’s lips agape.

“Your house, actually.”

To your surprise, they actually thought of you. You three got out of the train when it stopped, you guys walked on a thick and undefying silence on the way, you opened the door on your house and invited them to eat with you without a word, you three just kept going as if you three knew this day would eventually come. You three became aware that this was inevitable however the tension between you and Kuroo along with the tension with Kenma and Kuroo is fighting off against each other.

You three sat in each perspective place while you three ate up, making you remember a scene from a highschool, remembering that everytime you three eat lunch you often hear people saying Kuroo is the ‘Mr. Perfect Face’, how you remembered how your eyes lingered a bit longer to ‘Mr. I always stay’ , gosh, what the hell happened? Kenma watched every moment, every second, he looked for a sign where you linger to Kuroo’s gaze, he looked at your eyes hoping no one took Kuroo’s place.

Kuroo never wondered why Kenma was quiet, he knew he'd been watching you so he did the same, looking over you how your skin looks so delicate, looking over you wishing he had begged you to stay. The dinner went fast, too fast. In fact, the night was already deep and you asked them to stay, which Kuroo used as his hope.

Lost in the vast midnight, Kuroo roamed around your house, hoping he'd see some clues perhaps to hold him, to keep him there. He’s hoping he can see a house that you and him built in the corner of his mind that once disappeared from him and you.

“Why are you still awake?”

He jolted when he heard your voice, maybe he was not too late?

“I--uh, I just couldn’t sleep.”

“Well, you should, the bags under your eyes tell otherwise.”

The moon’s light showers you an amount where you see Kuroo’s details, his familiar bed head, his eyes that once watched you like a cat. He grabbed his phone and played something, an oddly familiar song. Billy Joel’s Uptown Girl, you looked at him as you gave a deep sigh. As he offered his hand for a dance which you accepted.

He utters apologies and hope in between the chorus and verse. He was desperate if someone would say--

A business man lost his lover and now, he tries to go back to his former, he was so damn desperate to be in your arms again. He felt your hair falling in his arms, oh, how he missed this. He felt his hand getting warmer every time you danced with him. Atleast, this once he felt you closer to him again.

“[Name]”

He uttered your name in such a soothing manner, you stopped swaying with him and he rested his hand on your cheek. He doesn’t need to remind himself. He looked into your eyes and he didn’t see him, he just saw you facing the world alone, he looked at you searching for something that he wished to linger. He was not part of your dreams anymore.

Mr. Perfectly Fine, “How’s your heart after breaking mine, Tetsu?” You asked him. He doesn’t need to be told twice because just like Kenma said you’re doing great, good, better. No doubt he was ‘Mr. Too Late.’

You saw him looking away from you but you pulled him into a tight embrace, despite the height difference he cupped his cheeks, as tears started streaming down his face. He lost again.

“I have already loved you, Tetsu. We built our own home out of memories and emotions..” He tried not to fall apart in front of you. He wiped away his tears as he held you closer.

“Now, I’m happy on my own. It’s time to leave that home. Tetsu, I loved you.”

You kissed the left side of his lips as he rested his head on your shoulder, he cried as if he was lost because indeed he was. He lost you in between his dreams and deja vu, he forgot to love you and only loved your lookalike. How he wishes to run back to you when he was still on the aisle that time, how he wishes he was still your Mr. Perfectly Fine.

The End.

-

{masterlist}

would be a lie - gojo satoru genre: angst | notes: manga spoilers!, angsty gojo supremacy | 0.9k words - those three words that he saw as curse. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Upon meeting Gojo Satoru at his prime, you knew that this man would be your greatest enemy and greatest home, meeting Gojo Satoru isn’t like a tea in winter, it’s not like an iced tea on summer, meeting Gojo Satoru is like tasting a mint chocolate ice cream for the first time: that is meeting Gojo Satoru, you don’t know if you like the hint of sweet or like the hint of mint, because he is nowhere in between that two flavor.

But meeting him was one of your greatest cheers in life, you knew Gojo’s past because you lived in it, you were a part of it. You knew Geto Suguru became his first and only best friend as well as Shoko being his friend and human diary. But something made you feel closer to Gojo, because of all the pain he went through, he still chooses to be back to you, whether you may play a big or small part in his past he still chooses to go back to you.

You smiled at this thought because indeed, you knew Gojo more than you planned too: on how would you explain to him that you’re thankful that he let his guard down as you bring him an embrace, on how much you adore his body warmth to yours, on how you would catch him staring at you despite his blindfold, on how his mood suddenly shifts whenever you’re there, oh, and how could you thank him on how he would allow himself to fall asleep next to you when the night is chilly.

Such a cliche love story, if some would say but that’s just the thing, Gojo never really made it clear who you were, who are you in his life: because not even you could not explain if he’s toying with your emotion or just being him. You never knew what’s written on his mind, despite the fact he’s letting his guard or infinity around you it doesn’t mean the wall that he built is gone too.

Gojo was a man, having ten steps in his mind, ten steps onwards to the future, ten steps before you could even move. Despite the mixed signals he gave. You never seem to notice on how his blue eyes tend to show such sadness, that behind that strong persona he puts on, him: Gojo Satoru, is more than a jujutsu sorcerer, that person behind his blindfold and upholded persona is the one you wish to love, and you helping him to replace that sadness that he holds for too long, that you wish that hole in his heart will be replaced by you.

“Then, tell me..what are we Gojo? Cause--”

That was the question you asked him, to which he didn’t know what to say and you bet he thanked his students for calling him that time. You wished that he forgot that question but deep down you bid the gods that he will answer you with the answer you wish to hear, because how would you explain the deep embrace he give to you, how would you explain the long intertwining hands whenever you two are alone, how would you explain those lost and deep nights where he only showered you with taste of love? What is it, then?

When Gojo heard you asked the question, he felt his heart skip a beat, because you’re the only person he never wished to lie to. He thanked his students for saving him from your question. He trembled for a moment, for the thought that maybe you don’t want him anymore, you don’t wish to be at his side anymore. He feared that maybe you would find someone, but no, you wouldn’t do that.

Throughout the whole day he spent his time thinking of how he would answer you, because in the end of the day, in the middle of the night, he knew he would want to spend it with you. Because he knew, he was in love with you.

When he was about to go home, he felt your eyes staring at him when he first years arrived at the school, he saw your eyes lit up the moment you saw him, he saw you lit up all of the sudden when you saw him that made him calm and made his stomach feel those butterflies.

But that hole of sadness is much scarier, he thought that every moment he can lose you, just like how lost himself back then with his best friend. He engaged a deep sigh, shaking his head and believing that he is the strongest that he can protect you but he couldn’t shake the fact that maybe, some day, you will leave him and there’s nothing he can do. He loves you so much that he would do anything to protect you.

Love is indeed the most bitter curse, this is the taste of curse, because he already felt it, he tasted it already. He just wished to be happier, but this is too much, and when the night left the both of you, he finally answered your question.

“Cause, I love you, Satoru.”

Ah, this is where he wished to be himself, that he wished he lived like a normal man living with you. But just this once, he would like to lie, because you were the important piece in his life and he couldn’t bear to lose you. He sighed and when you heard him clear his throat, you knew you lost in this gamble, you lost in this taste of love or more like curse.

“[Name.], If I told you those eight letters...three words..it would be a lie.”

And maybe he did lose you after this night.

----- the end.

---

–{masterlist} --

don't say i love you - amajiki tamaki genre: fluff! | notes: i miss amajiki plss, Mirio-wingman energy | 1.0k words - Say 'i love you' without saying i love you cause both of you are shy

— extra notes: - forgive me for being inactive, i'm currently working on a series which i'm having a hard time to where i would post it so meh.. - drink your water everyone and this story is just an excuse, i just miss my babie amajiki

--

Take a deep breath. Take a deep breath, he keep reminding himself to take a deep breath, whether it’s a way to calm himself down or the calm everyone down: Tamaki Amajiki keeps inhaling and exhaling to calm his pounding chest and to tire down the ringing in his hair but in spite of all the battles he had in his head, there’s this one person that he always thinks of, the one who tells him that he should keep going, the one who keeps cheering on him even if he felt like everyone is watching him, that person was you. He is indeed in love with butterflies but he surely knows that haven’t eaten any type of butterfly and yet, your laughter, your smile, and the way you speak made him feel soft and familiar inside.

He never knew what caused this, he never knew what’s the reason for his sudden excitement when you enter the room, his body would react when he feels your warmth to his fingertips, he would often ramble this to Mirio to which Mirio was happy and pleased: he always wanted to see this sight where Amajiki finally found the missing part and him feeling the warmth in his skin.

“Come on, just one date..”

“I’ll just end up going home..”

Mirio left a chuckle but with a little push, he said that you wouldn’t turn him down or even leave him alone because deep down Mirio knew that Amajiki has the best version of himself and that’s when he’s with you. But to his state he never knew how much big deal this is for Amajiki thinking of all the things that may not fall to the ending he wishes to possess however, he, himself was also indecisive despite being one of the UA’s big three, he had no clue which move he should do next.

The last thing he knew is that he only wanted to be next to you, all of the time.

But the funny about that is that you and Amajiki posses the same attitude, him having anxiety whenever he’s with new people and you being afraid of asking some additional ketchup to a fast food chain worker: due to this fact you two pledge closer together and the two of you voyage the outside world the language you and him only knew and communication became a golden key for the both of you.

So, you noticed how Amajiki mostly feel embarrassed or flustered next to you: you wondered if maybe you did something wrong? Or maybe you did something that actually made him and that is the last thing you wish would happen, without a doubt losing Amajiki would be the greatest travesty you wish you wouldn’t think of, due to the sudden change of his attitude you tried to think of somethings that can actually affect Amajiki from the food you gave him to the way you talked to him but nothing seems to be the problem but still he seems to have that pink shade of powder in his cheeks, and to your conclusion maybe he has a crush….on someone else.

Not that you like him or maybe you do...but maybe he’s being like that because you two seemed to be too close and now it’s affecting his crush, you tried to clear your mind in this kind of thought, but looking back he did mention that there’s this one person that makes him keep going.

You dealt with heartache before but now, you wonder if Amajiki is worth it because truth to be told, seeing Amajiki with someone who isn’t you, doesn’t really make your stomach happy, however if it’s a way to make him smile, you’ll gladly let him go.

You stood in front of Amajiki’s room and with a heart on your hand as an offer for a love that you wish he will return. You informed him ahead of time that you were gonna go inside but then you remind to yourself that both of you are like house of cards, you two take time to build each other and just a short time to make you both fall apart but alas, for now, you or both of you tries to make this house of cards even bigger.

You went inside his room and saw Mirio and Amajiki talking, it seems so intense and still Amajiki’s red blush is still present, as if by magic or most likely quirk Mirio vanishes making himself sink in Amajiki’s room leaving you and Amajiki alone, oh, and also those butterflies in yours and his stomach.

“..I noticed something..are you mad at me?”

You asked Amajiki to make him stand up asking you why you would think of that and you looked away. Huh? So he isn’t mad. Maybe he really likes someone, then. Without a word, Amajiki just stared at you as you sigh in deep thought, Mirio’s words had a call in his head, like he is having a telepathy with Mirio.

“...I see..”

You gave off a vibe like you knew but at the same time you didn't. While Amajiki stares at you, adoring you in every way he can.

“I like you.”

Ah, crap. You and him muttered in a low voice, ah, soulmates. What a twist indeed, you two heard a low chuckle and Mirio’s face was on Amajiki’s wall. “See, I told ya!” To Mirio, he told you beforehand that you should just go for it and he cheered Amajiki a while ago to ask you out. He disappeared from the wall as you ran to Amajiki and gave him a hug as he did in return with a shaking hand; no words were heard that time and apparently you need don’t need to say ‘i love you ‘ to say you two love each other, forgot about the blue moon and shooting stars because in this universe you two have each other hearts inside the bigger house of cards.

----------- the end.

--

{masterlist}

!!! no way home spoiler !!!

!!! no way home spoiler !!!

"--thinking all love ever does is break and burn, and end." // taylor swift (begin again, 2012)

Eclipse

I made this for my AP art portfolio so it’s a little different from my usual stuff (and took a lot longer to finish!)

(no reposts; reblogs appreciated)