You Took The Softness Of My Snow And Left Only The Cold.

You took the softness of my snow and left only the cold.

You took the music of my ice and left it blankly stagnant.

It's the only colour,

those deep red poppies and indigo aconite trickling down my cheeks, released by the frozen tears I've cried over all your thoughts untold.

You stripped my skies of any stars and aurora, shattered even the moon, and left not but a fragment.

Emily Yvonne

Please,

don't let your hurt fool you into longing,

don't let your sorrow fool you into hoping,

&

don't let the traitor fool you into trusting...

not again

I would say, unless

they change

but

do not let the desperation fool you into expecting.

Emily Yvonne, fragments of my mind

Edinburgh looks like a dark academia paradise

Ballad of the Fall

“Everyone keeps asking me what I’m doing with myself, how I’m passing the time, what I’m doing with my legs now that they’re not swinging on the train to your place. I am waiting for you to come back to me, that’s what I’m doing. I am waiting for you to pick up the phone and call me. I am pulling teeth. I am plucking them one by one and trying to forget what they looked like pressed into your shoulder or clinging to your neck. The truth was an ugly thing that I kicked out of our bed, only to watch it climb back in and take you from me. I think you’re a coward for letting it. I think I could have loved you better than anybody, and I can’t stop making lists of all the times I almost told you that. That’s what I’m doing. I’m twisting our story until it stops remembering you just so I can sleep at night. But I’ll always be here, hands like a broken record that skips at the sleepless night before you crawled back into yourself for good. Just know that I’ve been waiting. Know that you’re the first time I ever swallowed my pride and then spit it back up. I hope you remember what your bed felt like with me laying honest in it. That is what brave looked like.”

— Caitlyn Siehl, “Waiting” (via alonesomes)

I'm numb and messed up, with raving madness of terror in my soul..

Emily Yvonne, fragments of my mind