~Dorks In Wonderland~

~Dorks in wonderland~

Episode 4 Lilia Vanrouge x Gnreader

Y/N: I can fix everything in this world....even without magic... Grimm and Ace's grades...

Grimm/Ace:Hey!

Y/N: Deuce, Riddle and Epel's anger issues

Epel:Oi!

Deuce:That hurt Y/N.

Riddle:You're lucky I'm in a good mood.*clearly pissed*

Y/N:I can fix the tweels' psycho behaviour

Floyd: Oh come on shrimpy we are not that bad! I just love squeezing you !

Jade:*chuckles*

Y/N: I can even make Leona DO something!!

Leona:Herbivore don't provoke the lion...

Ruggie:They are right though.*snickers*

Y/N:But YOU...*points at Lilia*

Lilia:*smiles innocently*

Y/N: YOU....AND YOUR CULINARY SKILLS ARE THE ONLY THING I CAN'T FIX.

Lilia:Oh come on, little bat I'm not that bad.

Y/N:"Not that bad"you say? Then....*points at the burned kitchen * EXPLAIN THAT TO MY DORM KITCHEN. HOW CAN YOU BURN A KITCHEN WHILE MAKING TEA!?

Lilia:I was trying to do something special for you little bat.*puppy eyes*

Y/N:*slipper in their hand*

Lilia: Looks like my charm won't work this time...am I right ?

Y/N: yes *pissed as fuck*

Lilia:....*runs away*

Y/N:COME BACK AND FIX THIS MESS, YOU PUNK!!💢💢

Silver:*embarrassed of his father's behaviour*

~RECORD OF RAGNAROK no sense 😌~

Episode 20

Y/N: Zeus listen an advice from a wise person.

Zeus:Since when you're wise?

Y/N:Shush and hear me out.

Zeus:*sighs and listens*

Y/N:women are like glass....fragile...you can break them...

Zeus:That's true. *smirks*

Y/N: ..BUT....if you try to step on them....they will fucking hurt you*evil smirk*

Zeus:*sweatdrops*

Y/N:And that's why I made a few calls. *snaps their fingers* Ladies!

*all Zeus' human lovers + Hera come out*

Zeus:*knows that he's fucked*

Y/N:I believe that is time for your revenge.

Hera:LET'S FUCKING KICK HIS OLD CHEATING ASS!

The girls: YES!

Zeus: Oh would you look at the time! I gotta go!! *gets chained * WTF!?

Y/N: Not so fast old man. You gotta pay for your crimes *smirks and gives Hera a pair of scissors*

BONUS:

~Olympus~

All the gods could hear Zeus' high pitched screams.

Herakles:Nobody is gonna help him...right??

Hermes:Nope. *smiles*

Ares: I care about my life.*clearly scared of his mother*

Poseidon:Not me *reads*

Hades:He has to learn from his mistakes.

...How I met your father...the tale of a bat and a raven...

Mentioned Lilia Vanrouge x fem reader

Silver x mother reader.

(Owlie note: this started as a joke but it became really serious so I couldn't include it in the Dorks in wonderland series)

Silver;*looks at Y/N* ...moth-...Y/N....

Y/N:Silver darling what I've already told you?

Silver:....to keep calling you mother when we are alone.

Y/N:*smiles and pats his head* Exactly, you have a good memory sweetie.

Silver:Mother please...*blushes*

Y/N:Ok ok I'll stop*rises her hands in surrender * what were you trying to say dear?

Silver: How did you meet Lil-...I mean father??

Y/N:Well that's a long story...wait Lilia never told you?

Silver:....He would tell me that you met in school or that you were bound to meet each other by fate or during a fight in a tavern or that he dreamed of you before you actually met. The most absurd one was that you almost killed him.

Y/N:*sighs * Of course he wouldn't tell you the true story but just few details of it, your father lives for those kind of games.

Silver:What do you mean mother?

Y/N: Your father did tell you how me and him met...he put a small piece of the truth in small stories. But now I'll tell you what really happened.

Silver:*nods*

Y/N: Your father and I are indeed bounded by fate, we are something that humans call...."soulmates" so we were destined to meet eachother....but our first meeting wasn't actually the most romantic thing of the world.

Silver: At least it won't be a cheesy tale like the ones father told me.

Y/N:...Well you could call it the tale of a bat and a raven .....You see...I was a warrior from an enemy kingdom...all I knew in my life was fighting...and killing...I was a merciless murderer....at the time I was called "Raven" due to the mask I was wearing...

Silver:*shocked* "The mask I found in the attic...."

Y/N:When I first met your father...it was during a war...I still remember that day...as if it was yesterday... I was killing every single soldier not caring if they were enemies or allies...then my general:

Flashback

~In the middle of the battlefield~

General: The queen is right there!! Raven!! Go an kill her!!!

"What the queen was in the battlefield!?"

"Yes she was, I was surprised too... I've never seen someone brave as her. So brave to fight along with her people...the king I was 'serving'...was a real coward he sent his soldiers to war and never dared to fight with them....now can I go on?"

"Yes...I'm sorry mother...."

General: Hurry you useless slave! It's your occasion...

Y/N:...*looks at the queen and runs to her ready to strike with the sword*

"As I was about to cut her head off...your father came in to stop me"

Lilia:Not so fast!*stops Y/N's sword*

Y/N:....*stares at Lilia with cold eyes*

Lilia:*smirks* You must be the famous Raven I've heard about!!! Finally I have the honor to meet you! You look very strong but what general I would be if I'd let you kill my Queen.

~Present~

Silver: Father was no different from now.

Y/N:*chuckles* Yes...We fought for days and nights...none of us dared to stop...It was...exciting....because I had finally found someone strong as me...*smiles*

Silver:Who won?

Y/N:Your father of course. He used magic, my army was defeated and while they were running away ...I was left behind...

Silver:Cowards...

Y/N: Well it was good for me don't you think?

Silver: Yes of course.

~Flashback~

Maleficia: *looks at Y/N* They left the raven here...

Lilia: How foolish...he was their best warrior...

Y/N:...you.....masters?.....kill....me?

Maleficia:*her eyes widen* General...remove the mask immediately...

Lilia:*do as she said*....WHAT!? A woman!?

Maleficia:....poor creature....*gets close to Y/N*....what did they do to you....

Y/N:....me raven....me kill...

Lilia: She was literally raised as a warrior...not even given a proper education...She repeats the words she heard the most....

Maleficia:.... for how long were you fighting....no....how many masters you had...

Y/N: .....masters....dead...old....many...

Maleficia:She is not a human...she must be like us....probably from a conquered village...

Lilia:This explains her unnatural strength....she could be even stronger with magic...

Maleficia:....*looks at Y/N's face* those E/C ....She's...from the Kourona Montains ....tribe...

~Present ~

Silver: Kourona?? Wasn't that your last name?

Y/N:Yes....Apparently I was the only survivor of the Kourona Tribe... I rare fairy kind... who lived 500 years ago... after the war the Queen welcomed me to her Kingdom... I received a proper education I learned how to speak, read and use my magic.

Silver: Wait....Fairy?? But do you don't...

Y/N:Have wings? Well as you may know not all faes have wings but the Kourona tribe was famous for having the most beautiful wings among all fae...

Silver:..mother...what happened to yours?

Y/N:I had them once...but they took them away from me...

Silver:*shocked*....Forgive me mother I'm making you remember all those bad things...*looks down*

Y/N:*caresses his cheek* My dear son...I may have suffered at first for those 200 years....but my pain was rewarded with wonderful.... gifts...A home....a man who loves me...and...

Silver:And?

Y/N:*smiles* And you my dear son.

Silver:*tears up and hugs Y/N*....thank you mother..

Y/N: I'm the one who should thank you for bringing me happiness...*holds him close* my precious son.

Lilia:*appears from nowhere *What? Hugs session without me?I'm offended.

Y/N:*rolls her eyes* Don't you have something else to do then bothering us?

Lilia:My little raven you wound me...*dramatic pose *

Y/N: If I really wanted to wound you I would use something stronger.

Silver:....*smiles and hugs both of them*

Lilia:*looks at Y/N and whispers* What happened he never acted this way...

Y/N:*smiles* it's a long story....my bat.

How to give an heart attack:

h-hey...

DORKS IN WONDERLAND

Episode 3 Leona Kingscholar x reader

~Bun~

Y/N:Ruggie....Cheka...Farena-san are you sure he will understand?

Ruggie:Of course!

Cheka:I mean...Uncle can't be that dense right?

Farena:Yeah my brother is smarter than me.

Y/N:.....Oh great seven please help us.*clearly worried*

Leona:I hope you four had good reasons to interrupt my afternoon nap.*yawns*

*Cheka and Ruggie grin at eachother*

Cheka:Auntie Y/N wants to tell you something uncle!

Leona:*looks at you annoyed* ...couldn't you tell me after my nap?

Farena:Leona this is something it can't wait.

Ruggie:*holding his phone*

Leona:*clearly confused and looks at you* If this is a joke then I don't want to be a part of it.

Y/N:*sighs *Ignore those two and open the oven.

Leona:....You bothered me just for this?

Y/N:💢😊 just do it.*on the verge of killing him*

Leona*rolls his eyes and opens it*

Ruggie:so??

Cheka:What do you see uncle?

Leona:There's a bun in the oven. I'm surprised you cooked something without destroying the kitchen.

Y/N:First...I'm not Lilia-San, second wait to eat that.

Leona:Then what am I supposed to do with this bun if not eating it?

Farena:Leona...where was the bun...

Leona:In the oven,so what?

Ruggie:*trying to not laugh like the hyena he is*

Y/N:*giggling* repeat what you did...

Leona: I opened this oven and found a bun in it. *clueless *

Ruggie:*cracks into a hysterical laugh*

Leona:What's so funny!?💢

Farena:Brother this is embarrassing for you and so funny for us*laughs too*

Y/N:Leona think about it...What did you do now...

Leona:....I FUCKING got interrupted during my FUCKING afternoon nap. I came in the FUCKING kitchen, opened the FUCKING oven and found a FUCKING bun.

Ruggie:*falls on the ground laughing but keeps filming* Oh great seven this will be epic one day!

Y/N:*laughing too* Darling calm down and think...where was the bun.

Leona:In the oven....*pissed* So what if I found a bun in the ov-.....*stops talking and looks at you*

Y/N:*smiles*

Leona:a bun...in the oven*looks at your tummy*

Y/N:Did you understand now, future daddy? *pats his head*

Farena:Congratulations brother!

Cheka: I will have a little cousin!

Leona:.....*faints*

All:Leona!!

~BONUS~

Cheka:Dad did you have the same reaction?

Farena:First I fainted then I cried for 3 hours.

Ruggie:I believe he will be out for a day or two. He will wake up, think that it was a dream.

Y/N:And then will faint again when he realizes that it's not a dream*chuckles *

Leona:*inside his head he's already dreaming of small Y/Ns and small Leonas but it's not that bad*

[Lilia:That comment was rude and inappropriate. I'm not that bad.

Owlie:Honey we all know you can't cook. Even your son.....ANYWAY Tell me who do you want to be the next bun victim!!!]

girl do u not know how to tag ur cringy twst stuff as fem reader or are you just that dense be honest

Oh silly me I'll be careful next time.