Ror X Reader - Tumblr Posts

Triple KO. Fear the Reader~

I loved your Eri!Reader pieces, can I request Buddha, Shiva and Zerofuku react to her saying her favorite food is Apples, but she gets sparkly eyed when Goll tells her about ‘Candy Apples’ which are sweeter (Who’s on the floor dying from her cuteness when she asks “Sweeter how?”)

Someone get her some candy apples! Stat!

Eri is such a cute character (And Anya SxF)

Candy Apples, Stat!

➤ interpret this as you will ✨

You were one of the cutest lil’ ladies Buddha’s seen in a long while. Pretty sure that’s what he thought anyway.

He was just casually chilling with you, that’s what you wanted to do. Though as a child would, you got pretty talkative at some point. Then proceeded to launch into a rant.

Buddha is the best listener around, out of any deity besides Shiva and Zerofuku.

He heard you at some point talk about food, saying as to how Apples were your favorite.

Buddha was completely interested and glad to know something knew about you, you were very adorable!

Shiva is a man of fatherly instincts towards his own kid and others he’s gotten to know, which is mostly Ganesha obviously and [First Name]

Zerofuku really liked how joyful you were about apples, he was slowly learning how to deal with how humans and all things worked. But he liked to know more about you!

However when Göll came around and hearing about your talk of apples, she promptly told you with a smile the existence of Candy Apples, which are sweeter.

With the cutest curious expression you asked her, “Sweeter how?”

THAT HAD BUDDHA FLOORED.

Shiva almost fell on the floor from the cuteness.

Zerofuku straight up passed out at how cute you were.

Heavenly Scent

Lu Bu x Warrior! fem reader

Synopsis: You have known Lu Bu since childhood, and you were always there thick and thin, and now your friendship is to be tested by the scent of the heavens itself.

Warnings⚠️🖤❤️: Smut ahead, biting, getting steamy in the hot spring.

A/n: we need more Lu bu Smut. So I did one.

No man can taste the fruits of autumn while he is delighting in the scent of spring flowers.

The smell.

It was the smell that made him so drawn to you. Of his childhood when it was just the two of you. Exploring the roots of your home and beyond. Until the day you were sold off to a wealthy family. He went looking for you on that day with a bouquet, wisteria, peach flower, blue marigold, and some cherry blossoms. Only to find himself in a devastating situation, you were being dragged to the ground into a cart by an older adult. Shackled in chains. His bouquet dropped to the hard ground. Shattered.

It was the smell that made him so drawn to you. Of his childhood when it was just the two of you. Exploring the roots of your home and beyond. Until the day you were sold off to a wealthy family. He went looking for you on that day with a bouquet, wisteria, peach flower, blue marigold, and some cherry blossoms. Only to find himself in a devastating situation, You was dragged to the ground into a cart by an older adult, wrapped in chains. His bouquet dropped to the hard ground.

He felt his heart race like a beating drum as he ran towards you, running, running, and running. But it was already too late as the horses ran out into the distance.

That day he swore an oath that he'd get strong and bring you back to him. Into his arms once more. But he will forever remember the smell.

But those were years ago, and he had gotten strong. If not the strongest of all men. He fought countless armies that no one couldn't even match his power. His army grew with every passing day.

But this day, he had finally met his match.

Another kingdom was about to meet its end, his soldiers were ready and waiting for their lord's command. With A swing of his halberd, he and his army began their campaign. 

Among his enemies was a woman. Who was brave enough to take Lu Bu head-on with her gauntlets armed and ready to smash whoever was in front of her. Their battle was fierce, neither side backing down before the enemy. Lu Bu couldn't control his excitement for finally. Finally, he has found a worthy opponent. Their weapons clashed while the world trembled around them. Only one will make it out alive.

After an incredible battle between who is stronger than the other, Lu Bu came victorious with his prize on his shoulders. Her. 

Months passed since he fought that woman and brought her to join his army. The first female he'd let join his army. It reminds him of someone else he knew a long time ago. As his army and Lu bu (who is not a big fan of parties) celebrated another raid, the woman stood out from the party. Her arms crossed along with bandages on her thighs, Hugging her flesh plump skin, and metallic thigh-high boots.

She felt exhausted, but she'd never shown it. She spun around and left the crowd to continue their celebration, not knowing that Th general's eyes followed her out of his army and into the forest. Later then, he started following you. She traveled deep into the forest grounds for quite some time, all the way to her secret hiding spot. Not much of a hiding spot but her place of peace and serenity. Wher only the cherry blossoms and wisteria trees grow, lanterns swing into the wind's soft embrace. She felt the memories wash over her as she continued her descent into the dort road. The memory of how she was sold off and forced to her only friend behind.

She stopped suddenly and turned her head, only to see nothing behind her. I could've sworn someone was following me not long ago, she thought as she turned her head again. Lu Bu hid behind a giant wisteria tree. He felt an ache in his chest. The tingle in his crotch. He wants to see, he needs to see, Just what lies behind that armor and steel, behind the mask she covers. He heard her footsteps walking away and took it as his cue to continue following her from a distance.

His mind snapped to reality as he watched the woman take off her armor. Each piece of metal revealed more of her tender skin, To the softness of her breasts that carry her chest. To the curves of her hips sway so delicately that she'll tease a man with them, especially a general. She finally reached the back of her mask and unbuckled the straps behind her, showing her soft and young face as her long hair fell behind her, touching the ground. Your lower stomach revealed your slight six-pack poking out in the skin. A body well built for a warrior like her.

 Primal desires were about to flood over him. He always thought about the type of woman you would become. But a warrior. With an intoxicating scent, with a body built on the battlefield. And with a beautiful face of that of all the Three Kingdoms. There's no distinction... he has to claim you before anyone else dares to think so.

He watched you rise and fall into the hot spring, your soft length fingers caressing your chest, your breathing while giving a sigh of relief as you stood above the water.

"I know you are watching, so can come out," you spoke softly, as you'd turned around with those innocent eyes sparkling like teardrops. Lu Bu steeped from behind the trees, his halberd in one hand and his other clenched at his side. Along with a smug smile on his face. And, eyes staring down at you like a quarry. And if you're his prey, that makes him a predator. 

he couldn't waste any more of this, he impaled the halberd into the dirt, the clothing came afterwards and marched his way to you. You were the first to make a move and slowly guiding your fingers across his giant chest while standing on your tippy toes to. Exploring every inch of flesh and tattoo on his giant form, The giant felt your fascination through your fingers, he felt a prideful smile on his face. HE grabbed our hands and picked you up from the helm of your ass, and gave it a nice squeeze.

You gasped as he shoved his lips to yours, a rough yet passionate kiss. He sat in the water, his lips still locked with yours as he felt something at your entrance. He unlocked the kiss to hear the beautiful sounds of your voice as he thrust into you repeatedly. Hitting your g-spot every time, you felt as though he'll split you into two. As he pounded into you, his fangs marked the valley of your breasts, his h iron grips at your hips to keep up with his pace

The hot spring shook as he still continued to drill into you without rest, the sound of your voice chanting his name over a thousand times. You felt your body completely come undone as you reached your climax, now seeing stars. A couple of thrusts and grunts later it was his turn to come undone. Both panting, as he fell on his back and you with it. The flying general smiled as you laid on his chest, exhausted, and still impaled on his manhood. You looked at your general who was smiling at you.

"Something amusing, general?", you asked regaining your composure.

" Thinking about I should've done this sooner after we fought". He added.

You scoffed, " Still a cocky asshole I came to be friends with".

"Yet you slept with this cocky asshole".

You rolled your eyes and laid on his chest. flustered, "Shut up".

He took his large hand and caressed your back as he looked to the sky, the stars shining above the two of you. He'll thank the heavens for reuniting with his no longer friend, but a lover and future wife.

A/n: Who shall I write next?

Sweet Nectar

Thor x (Servant) Deity Reader

Synopsis: You're Thor's favorite servant, one that he alone can have. So what will happen when he finds out that you're a nature deity who left her homeworld because of your arranged marriage to a stranger?

Warnings⚠️🖤: Heavy Smut, breeding kink, scent kink, past abuse, dom/sub play

“A flower’s appeal is in its contradictions — so delicate in form yet strong in fragrance, so small in size yet big in beauty, so short in life yet long on effect.”– Terri Guillemets.

You loved flowers. Their beauty, colors, fragrances, everything.

You A diety of flowers and good fortune, but was before you fled your home, now you live secretly as a servant of The Mighty Thor. But at least it was better than the place you once called home.

Ever since that day, you felt as though you found peace in life, away from it all. But sometimes, while you served your lord, it feels like someone is watching you other than him. Out of all the servants, The Allfather had only you were able to get close to The God of Thunder himself, but you never asked why. Why does he let you get close? You know that Thor is a quiet man who hardly ever speaks to anyone if Loki was not annoying him all the time.

You started your routine as usual: Make breakfast, fix the bedsheets, Attend to his throne, water the plants. You have gotten used to life as a servant. You are not bothered by it. Especially when tending to his garden, well, your garden since he gave it to you after a long day of serving him, he wanted to reward you, A garden. The flourishing architecture, The flow of the river bank, the sound of the wind dancing in the flower beds. You sat alone on the marble bench and sighed as you brought the flute to your lips and played a symphonic melody.

Birds flew unto a small tree and sang along as you closed your eyes and continued to play. The wind blew softer than it ever was before. Flowers swaying ever so calmly. Unknown to you, Thor watched you from a near distance. His heart aching from his chest, eyes admiring your beauty when the sunlight shined upon you, your skin radiating like a gentle lamp. For the first time in his life. He feels as though fate has given him a chance.

Ever since Odin sent you to be his servant, he felt as though the whole world stopped for a moment, but he always hid his emotions. Thinking he does not deserve to feel this way. They were endless nights that he wished you were sleeping side in his bed, your skin pressed against him, your scent graved in his sheets. You had become an obsession to him. Not wanting to leave your sight when it come to you tending to the garden.

But this moment would not last long.

A flash of lightning burst the ground, making you stop what you were doing, and fearfully turned around. A tall man with a dark cloak appeared from the gray smoke. His eyes were furious and unwelcoming. He grabbed you by the arm, forcefully tugging you with him. You tried to fight back, but nothing happened. He then slapped you across the face. Making you fall in pain as he now carried you on his shoulder and ran out of the area.

You yelled and screamed, calling for your lord. " Thor! My Lord Thor! Help Me!!"

"Shut or else I'll make sure you won't ever utter another word again!" He warned in a raspy voice as he summoned a portal. Before he could take another step, he felt your body being dragged off his shoulder, making him almost fall on his back. He turned angrily, to now shudder in fear seeing who dragged you off of him. A red-haired god with lighting coming all over his body, and you standing behind him. Safe and protected. "Y/n, shield your eyes." He spoke calmly, but his face; leaned to say otherwise. You obeyed and hid your eyes behind him. With one swing of his hammer, he blasted the man into the portal he created, and the portal itself closed too. But there's a possible chance he won't make it back to where the man came from.

You whimpered in his chest as you embraced him. "T-Thank you, my lord." Thor shushed you with reassuring words of affirmation, "It's okay, I'm here." He said calmly, as he carried you back home, with your legs wrapped around his waist. 

As he had carried you back to where you came, inhaling the sweet sensation of your hair, like a bouquet of flowers, at this point. He stopped in the middle of the forest. Thor laid his hammer on the ground, you awakened from sleeping in his chest, "What is going on-mmh".

You looked you to your lord with sleepy eyes fighting to stay awake. He trailed peppering kisses along your jawline and kissed away the pink mark on your cheek to your soft lips. You moaned in his as his tongue explored every inch of your mouth. He laid you on the grass floor, his hands wandering all over your body hiking up your dress, squeezing the flesh of your thighs, making you gasp in surprise, lips parting from his.

"How dare he try to take what is rightfully mine?" He said to himself. as unfasten your dress, untying the strings behind your back, revealing your perfect breasts. Not being to control himself anymore, he took one of the mounds in his mouth, sucking the nipple and nipping the skin. Your back arched at his advances. Then later, he repeated the same motion to the other.

He could feel you squirming beneath him. He finished the assault on your breasts with a loud pop. Your body felt hot, breathing out from your chest. The thunder god traveled down between your legs, hovering over the glistening entrance. He dipped his nose into your heat, smelling the sweet smell. She smells even better than I thought. He thought as he rose to look at your disheveled look, flustered and embarrassed. Just the way he wants you.

"You belong to me. And no one else, even if it means I'll have to make you a mother to make your stay with me." He mumbled into your chest. He moved the dress to the side and began his approach to your entrance. Using his tongue, he guides himself into your wet folds, stroking and sucking as a man starved. He can feel your thighs closing around him. Your moans and whimpers are music to his ears. He can feel coming to your climax, only for him to stop midway.

" Why y-you stop?" you asked breathlessly. Your fingers are wrapped in his long red locks.

"I am not finished with you yet. Now, be patient like a good little servant." He ordered. Being like a good little servant, you complied and waited helpessly for your next order. His tall stature stood above you as you watched him unclothe himself, reaveled his well toned body.

He spread your legs wide enough for your lord to come in. You knew he was huge but his cock was even bigger.

All loss of words came from out of your mouth as his cock entered your wet heat, feeling as though he will break you into two. You moaned and mewled as he pounded into your g-spot, his hands gripping at your hips making you keep pace with him.

Your mind was flooding with lustful thoughts. Keep going, don't stop, I love you, my lord, faster, harder, make me the mother of your children. Oh god. You started seeing stars, blabbering lustful desires to him, making him want you, even more, fuck you even harder.

"My Lord, please let me cum I'm so close," you whimpered as you feel your climax coming to you, your cunt squeezing him as he continued to thoroughly fuck you dumb. He can feel you." I know just a little longer," he groaned, as he is about to reach his peak too.

Moments later he ordered you to come to him, and make you his. You came harder than screaming his name like a chant as lightning struck from the sky. Thor sighed as he completely emptied himself to you, Your scent with his mixed with cum and sweat. He pulled you close and lay in the same spot which is now a flower bed of red roses. But you were too fucked to care, your body ached, and you didn't want to move from his warm embrace.

He nuzzled into your hair as you traced your fingers onto his chest. Feeling your eyes weighing down on you, " I love you, my Thor". He smiled into your hair, " And I love you, my little deity servant."

You'll ask him about how he knew later.

New Blossoms

Synopsis: Part 2 of Sweet Nectar

Warnings: Pure Fluff, childbirth, Thor getting nervous about being a father, cuddles

A/n: I had to read a headcanon about Thor being a father before writing. If it's not fluffy enough I do apologize.

The sun rose from the side of the window, shining through the white silk curtains with gold furnishings. Tickling your skin, the sun welcomed you in genuine warmth through the covers of silk window covers, you stirred and stirred again, not wanting to get up from the surfaces of your now shared bed, a heavy pair of arms wrapped around your hips and pulled you close to a well-toned embrace, you sighed at the new comfort snuggling closer to his chest. Thor kissed the top of your head. Your eyes slowly rise, blurry vision at first sight before clearing and seeing your husband. His smile was the gentlest of all. " Mornin', Beloved," he said, tracing his fingers up and down your back, his hammer stood next to the bed in case someone tries to do something unexpected, *cough* Loki. You hummed welcomingly, " Morning, to you as well, Bethrothed." You stood up from your bed and lay on his chest. Hearing the heartbeat, mighty and strong. A new sound of voices listened close by. The sound of small coos and whimpers. You stared at the small crib just a few feet away from your shared bed.

Thor watched as you got up from your comfort zone. Sighing in slight annoyance as your baby boy continued to whimper and make small noises. You reached into his crib and picked him up, the baby now stretching his arms and rubbing his face. Morning scrunch. His eyes revealed a beautiful blue hue, and his skin matched that of a tan silk. He smiled and cooed as he took his thumb in his mouth, sucking as saliva fell onto the thumb. You smiled in awe at just how cute your little baby boy was. You sensed your husband staring behind you, admiring the small interactions between you and his son. And to think he had doubts about being a father and whether or not he would take a risk. When he heard from one of his servants that his deity, his wife will bear his kin, he stood there with shocked eyes. He felt his throat dry up a little, and his heart was racing but he showed no emotion. He just walked away, faster than usual he searched for you. Til he found you in the garden sitting underneath the water fountain. Your face reflected your worried look. You really hope he won't tell you to get rid of it.

He slowly walked in your direction, sat down under the water fountain, he saw his own reflection in the clear waters. Staring intently before turning to you with eyes very rare to him. " Do you think... I'll be a good father?" He asked, you looked at him with perplexed eyes. It's rare for him to ask such personal questions, even regarding family matters. Thor has always been a quiet person so there are times when he keeps things to himself. You stare with gentle eyes and understanding. You placed your hand on top of his and hold it tight. " Yes, I do believe you'll be a good father. You're already an amazing husband and partner, and I've never been happier than to spend an eternity with you by my side and I by yours." Thor's heart swelled in his chest. He felt inspired, in love, and wanted you more now than ever.

Within a month's time, your son was born bearing his red hair but your baby's blue eyes. He'll one day have his father's might and his mother's beauty and compassion. You sat next to him on the bed with your son in your arm. " Thor, will you like to hold your son?" You asked. Giving the child inches away towards him. Thor stiffened a little, adjusting his posture as he sat up, his back on the pillow. He reached his hands out to you, and you gave him the child, the baby shifted a little losing the embrace of his mother. Thor brought the baby boy to his gaze, both having a staring contest and with curiosity. The baby boy reached out tiny arms to him wanting to touch his face, wanting to know about his father. Thor got him closer to his face. The baby boy grabbed a handful of his face and examined his features, the other grabbed fistful of his red hair and yanking it. You couldn't help but laugh at his motives. The interaction between father and son. Thor sat there and allow it to happen, " Hello my son. This your father speaking to you." He said, drawing your son's attention from the red hair to his eyes, he giggled and garbled. " I may not know how to be a father, but I am learning." He continued. Thor brought the little boy to his chest. " But I do know this much, I'll teach you how to fight, be strong against your enemies," He turned to look at you as you laid on his shoulder.

" And your mother will teach you compassion, and good fortune. She'll show you how to love, how to feel emotion, and maybe teach you how to talk to flowers which she keeps only to herself." He finished off with a small joke. You playfully smacked his chest. " And I'll your father how to make better jokes when the time is right," You added comically. The baby boy laughed, drawing the attention of both of you. His first laugh. And it's just like yours.

" I love you, y/n. You're the greatest thing that ever happened to me." Thor said with a loving gaze. His face was soft. " You replied back with a smile, " I love you too, Thor, now I do believe it's time that he meets his grandfather right?"

" I suppose it is time."

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

A/n: I should've posted this about a month ago.

I had a Grandson and you didn't tell me?!

Thor x Deity Reader

Synopsis: Odin meets his grandson for the very first time, and instantly asked questions about his son and why he didn't tell him

Warnings: Fluff, Funny Shit, Loki being Loki, Odin being a grandpa

Part Three of Sweet Nectar

Odin stood there with the papers slowly falling from his hand while Hunnin and Mungin Sat there in absolute shock and very surprise as Thor walked in with you and his son cradled in his arms. Cooing and babbling happily. Hunnin and Mungin immediately flew over Thor's shoulders to see his son. " Awww, look at the little baby, isn't he cute?" Munnigin chirped as the little baby boy tried to reach up and grab his beak. Muungin grunted and squeaked as the baby boy, was shaking him like a toy maraca. Hunngin laughed at him. While he was trying to break free from the little boy's grasp. Odin slowly walked closer to his grandson, looking at him with confusing eyes, he looked back at his son. " I had a grandson, and you didn't tell me?" Odin asked surprisingly while the little boy was grasping his cloak, cooing as he felt the consistency.

Thor nodded, " Yes, I did." I had a grandson... And he never told me... Odin thought, But deep down, he reprimanded himself for passing on his thing with beautiful women to his son.

"So... who was the lady you conceived with? Odin asked. You cleared your throat to get his attention, and he quickly turned his gaze towards... you... The maid. He assigned you to his son?! He pointed his finger at his son. In realization, " Now that makes a lot of sense." He added. The baby boy resumed tugging on his grandfather's cloak. Odin gently grabbed the baby from Thor's arms. " Now, aren't you a good-looking young man," He said with the love and joy that finally... He's got a grandkid!! As if he's not old enough at it is.

Odin ordered some of his servants to bring every toy in the village. While the rest set up the baby's room. You and Thor looked at each other than at Odin and your son, which whom he was getting along with. " I told you they'll get along just fine." You said as you exhorted his arm. He looked back at you with a tiny smile, before kissing the top of your head. When you told him, that it was time to meet his grandfather, he was a little conservative at first, but with slight persuasion, he agreed. And now his father was showing his new toys and bonding with his grandson, which lasted for hours till Thor joined in. It was actually kinda adorable. Seeing your husband and his father's adhesion with the little boy. About an hour later, your son fell asleep in his crib while his father gently rocked it. His tiny snores escaped his mouth. Loki floated into the new room, which was filled with toys, baby toys, and books. While he glanced at certain brother and maid with a crib. He peaked over to see your son sleeping away. He noticed the red hair anywhere. He looked at him and the baby a couple times before realizing that he was an uncle?! " You slept with your maid?!" He asked loudly. Thor gave a deathly stare for yelling so loudly while his son was sleeping, but he was only moving a little bit, so it was no bother. Loki lowered his voice, " You slept with your maid?" Thor only stared at him before throwing him out of the baby room. " Was that necessary love?" Thor turned to you. " Yes, it was."

-----------------------------------------

Any other shit you'll want me to write just click the Ask button on my blog

This is me... It's a fanart of the request in @recreationalfanfics request for anonymous... This is my version... Sorry if it bothers you @recreationalfanfics! And anonymous...tell me and I'll take it down!

🔱 Poseidon x Goddess! Reader x Thor ⚡️

The Melody of Calm

Warning: Fluff

Summary: Two gods found you singing and decided to join you to listen your voice.

You walk around the forest while singing a song, your song made all the animals come out from their hideouts and follow you. You sat down on the ground by the river and pat one of the animals as they join in to relax while listening to you.

A deer turn it’s head, you notice look over, you gasp see two gods standing behind you. The animals run away after they see them and went hiding. You sat their frozen, your to scared to move or talk to them.

“Sing again” you wide in shock hearing Thor speak to you. He sit by you and Poseidon sat down facing at you. You gulp from their stares, you close your eyes and continue singing.

If I could begin to be

Half of what you think of me

I could do about anything

I could even learn how to love

Thor and Poseidon closes their eyes listening to you, they listen carefully to you, their body begin to relax like their ready to pass out to slumber.

When I see the way you act

Wondering when I'm coming back

I could do about anything

I could even learn how to love like you

Animals peek from their hiding spots and see the two gods sitting by you and see them look peaceful. They slowly come out of their hiding spots and walk toward you three. Thor and Poseidon notice letting them walk toward you three. Few birds land on your head sitting down as they relax. Squirrels crawl on your arms and sat down on your shoulders. Few of bunnies jump on Thor’s lap nuzzling him, Thor let them and pet them. Couple of deers sit by Poseidon, he let them and pet one of them.

Two of the gods watch you and seeing the birds and squirrels on you, it made their heart warm seeing you so…. Beautiful.

I always thought I might be bad

Now I'm sure that it's true

'Cause I think you're so good

And I'm nothing like you

Look at you go

I just adore you

I wish that I knew

What makes you think I'm so special

If I could begin to do

Something that does right by you

I would do about anything

I would even learn how to love

When I see the way you look

Shaken by how long it took

I could do about anything

I could even learn how to love like you

Love like you

Love me like you

After you finish your last note, you open your eyes and to your surprise they fell to sleep while sitting. You sigh heavily after singing, you snap a finger and on your hand appear small bowl of water. You held it to your lips and drink it. After you finish singing you need to hydrate your throat so you won’t sound like high pitched.

You set the bowl down after drinking and pet all the animals that walk closer to you. You didn’t notice two gods open their eyes slightly seeing you smile while petting the animals. They smile slightly and went back to sleep.

~RECORD OF RAGNAROK no sense🤪~

Episode 4

Y/N: 3 rules to get along, or at least survive,while living with me

Loki: *listens *

Y/N:number 1...when I'm angry...I'm angry don't even try to piss me off.

Loki:*nods*

Y/N:number 2 if I'm happy...I'm happy! Why should you piss me off?

Loki:*shrugs *

Y/N:*sighs* number 3 if you don't know whether I'm angry or happy DON'T PISS ME OFF. Those are the basics got it?

Loki: got it.

Loki:*black eye and a broken arm*

Thor:you broke the rules...didn't you?

Loki;Yup

Thor:....was even worth it?

Loki;definitely worth it.

~RECORD OF RAGNAROK no sense 🤪~

Episode 7

Buddha:*eating his chocolate bars *

Y/N:*stares at them* can I have one? *puppy eyes*

Buddha:....no.

Y/N:Please! Just one !!!

Buddha: No.

Y/N: Come oooon! I love you!

Buddha:I love you too but no.*keeps eating*

Y/N:....you're going to eat them all

Buddha:Yup...

Y/N:....do you wanna sleep on the couch tonight?

Buddha:...*stops eating * you wouldn't...

Y/N: Or maybe for 1 month.

Buddha:.....*gives you a chocolate bar*

Y/N:*smiles* Thank you honey*eats it*

Buddha:....you're evil.

Y/N: I love you too❤

~RECORD OF RAGNAROK no sense 🤪~

Episode 8

*when you're a tiny woman among the gods but you are still one of the primordial deities*

Shiva:.... How tall are you?

Y/n: It doesn't matter how tall I am in centimetres...

Shiva:???

Y/N: It matters that as your royal highness I will be the tallest among you all*smirks *

Shiva; Wanna fight woman?*clearly pissed

Y/N: *dark menacing aura * Are you sure you can win....brat?

Shiva......nevermind.

Y/N: As I thought.

~RECORD OF RAGNAROK no sense 🤪~

Episode 9

Göll: "Elder sister Y/N seems so serious"

Y/N:Brunhilde do me a favor...

Brunhilde: Of course. Whatever you want Y/N...

Y/N:When I die....

Brunhilde: IF you die Y/N.

Y/N:*rolls her eyes* yeah yeah IF I die...

Brunhilde:*looks at her* Y/N....

Y/N:Don't you dare to say that you're gonna have another guardian watching over you.

Göll:*shocked* Eh!? E-elder sister Y/N!?

Y/N: I had to put up with your bullshit for centuries as if I'll do it even during my afterlife.

Brunhilde:I wouldn't even think about it. *smiles*

Y/N:Good, I'm off!! Now it's time to kick some divine ass*smirks*

Göll:"Elder sister Y/N is the weirdest among all the valkyries but..."YOU'RE THE COOLES T ELDER SISTER!

Y/N:Of course I am Göll! *ruffles her hair*

(A.N: I was kinda forced to do a female reader cause valkyries are basically women, I've never heard about male ones. And I did my research. So I'm sorry for all my male and non binary readers 🥺)

~RECORD OF RAGNAROK no sense 🤪~

Episode 11

*You are the one that has to fight against Odin*

Y/N:Is that all you got old man!?

Huginn: How dare you to speak that way to Odin sama,human!!!

Munnin:You will perish!!!!

Y/N:Ohhhhh I'm so scared

Odin:*attacks them*

*trips on a rock and luckily dodges Odin's attack*

Odin:.....

Y/N:*They fell on their face*

~No one dares to say a word~

*Y/N gets up*

Y/N:That was part of my strategy...

Huginn/Munnin:NO IT WASN'T!!!

*You can hear Loki's hysterical laugh on the background *

Y/N: Today I feel like a star.*nosebleed*

Odin:....

Y/N:.....a star....that has fallen on her own f*cking face. *gets ready to attack* But I'm still the star that will kick you ass.

Odin:...Fool...

~RECORD OF RAGNAROK no sense 🤪~

Episode 12

*Pov. You are an older sister figure to Rudra and Shiva*

~After Shiva's fight~

Y/N:You won....in the end.

Shiva:*nods*

Y/N: And you lost three arms while doing that.

Shiva:*looks down*

Rudra:Elder sister Y/N....don't be too harsh on him.

Y/N:Am I talking to you??*glares*

Rudra:....*keeps quiet*

Y/N:....since day one...you two brats have been nothing but a pain in the ass for me...

Rudra/Shiva:*keep looking down*

Y/N:It has been centuries but you still give me a f*cking headache....*rise her arms*

Rudra/Shiva:*both ready to get the hit*

Y/N:*pats their heads* You are big and strong but still two brats inside those little brains of yours.*smiles*

Rudra/Shiva:*surprised* elder sister...*really touched *

Y/N:*also slaps them*

*the two gods fly into the wall*

Y/N: That's why I'm still keeping an eye on you!! Now go to the infirmary you need it! *walks away*

Indra:That....

Vishnu:Was sure cruel...

Agni:I did know she was strict but...that was really too much...

Varna: Rudra...Shiva are you still alive??

Rudra/Shiva:*getting on their feet *

Shiva:Big sis smiled....to us....

Rudra:She did.....

The two smiles: SHE'S PROUD OF US!!

The other gods:... Wtf...

Shiva:Her slap was softer than the ones she usually gave us!

The gods:"THAT WAS SOFT!?"

Rudra:Right!? If it was one of those we would have broken 3 walls!!

The gods:.....*turn around and look at Y/N* "How did they survive with ...that woman!?"

Y/N:✌

~RECORD OF RAGNAROK no sense 🤪~

Episode 13

(Notes: Female reader cause...come on Dadam would be a hyper protective dad if he had a daughter.

Deities involved: Hades,Loki,Shiva, Poseidon and Thor.)

~When Y/N brings her male buddies at home.~

Y/N:*happy aura* I'm so happy that Dad let you come with me!!

Loki:I'm surprised too.

Shiva:Yeah "I mean he's called the lover boys killer"

Hades: I hope he can enjoy the apple cider I brought here.

Y/N:Of course he will!*smiles and opens the door* Dad! We're here!

Adam:Welcome back home sweetheart*Pat's Y/N's head*

Y/N:*giggles* Are mom and big brothers home?

Adam:Yes, they are in garden right now. Why don't you go give them a hug? They missed you a lot.

Y/N: *nods* Okay! My friends can help you preparing dinner!! *turns to the boys* It won't take too long!*runs in the garden*

The gods:.....*they all look at Adam*

Adam:*keeps smiling while looking at Y/N*

Poseidon/Thor:....*clearly have a bad feeling*

Shiva: She always looks so innocent."I bet she's a naughty girl under the sheets" *pervert smirk*

Loki:Yeah....so innocent..."I really want to corrupt that innocence "* psycho smirk*

Adam:....*the smile drops*

Poseidon/Thor: "Idiots he can tell what you're thinking "

Hades:*coughs cause he knows that he has to make a good impression * It's an honor to meet you Adam, I'm Hades,a close 'friend' of your daughter. As a gift for your hospitality I brought you some Apple cider...

Adam:I have five rules. Memorize them.

Hades:Umh...of course I mean it's your house...

Adam: Rule number ONE: Don't bother sucking up. I HATE you. That's not gonna change.

Hades: I...I beg your pardon?

Adam: You'll give me your phone numbers and social media when I call you, you WILL answer. That's rule number TWO. You're not welcome here you're insects, grunts, nobodies, bottom of the food chain. You WILL obey to me without complaining.*menacing aura*

Loki:*starts shaking*

Adam: When you go out with her or come here to do anything, you will ALWAYS keep some distance from her. Which brings me to rule number THREE, don't try be a Romeo or a Don Giovanni when you're alone with her. If I don't see doesn't mean I won't know if you did something.

Thor/Poseidon:....*nod*

Adam: Rule number FOUR:... If she calls me....telling me that you hurt her or tried doing SOMETHING to her don't bother call me to give me explanations.Not only you will have lost your chances with her but you definitely asked for death.

Shiva:*raises his hand while shaking*

Adam:what?

Shiva: You said five rules. That was only four.

Hades:...."He did not...just ask him that..."*mentally facepalming*

Adam: *evil smirk* Rule number FIVE: You must refer to me as SIR. If you want to live. Do not call me Adam, man, bud, buddy,pops or "dad". You won't EVER get the privilege and the honor to do that.

Shiva:....of...of course sir....

Adam:Good.

Y/N: I'm back!! Guys,are you okay? You look pale.*clueless *

Thor:....we...

Adam:They are fine sweetheart, they must be tired,I heard that coming from Valhalla can be exhausting for a god. Right?*smiles*

Poseidon:....it's true...

Y/N: Is that so....well you can rest now! Mom and I will prepare lunch!!

Adam: Sweetheart you should rest too, Cain and Abel can help your mother. Why don't WE give them a tour of the house?

Y/N:*smiles* That's a wonderful idea dad!!

Adam: Well then, it's decided.*keeps smiling*

Poseidon: "We knew...what kind of man was Adam"

Hades:"....The rumours were clear..."

Thor: ".....But we ignored them ...and still came here..."

Loki:"....We literally threw ourselves in the lion's den..."

Shiva:"...Sure we may be gods...but now..."

The gods: "We're really fucked."

~RECORD OF RAGNAROK no sense 🤪~

Episode 14

Zerofuku: Y/N!!! Buddha was mean with me!!*big tears*

Y/N:WHAT!?

Buddha:THAT'S NOT TRUE!

Zerofuku:*cries and hugs Y/N* he hates me!!

Buddha:Stop lying!

Y/N:*glares* How could you treat him this way? He's just a child!

Buddha:He's even older than me!!!

Y/N: I don't wanna listen to your excuses. No sweets or candies for you today!

Buddha:What!? Not during our Netflix and chill night!! You made my favourites!!

Y/N:Looks like you don't deserve them! Let's go Zerofuku, I'll make you an hot chocolate and cookies.

Zerofuku: Thank you Y/N*big puppy eyes* I luv u so much *hugs them*

Y/N:*cuteness overload* You deserve everything dear *picks him up *

Buddha:*glares at him*

Zerofuku:*smirks and gives him the middle finger *

Buddha: You little piece of s-

Y/N:*turns around with a death glare*

Buddha:sssssugar honey iced tea?

Y/N:No sweets for one week.*walks away*

Zerofuku: *mouths* "See ya loser!"

Buddha: ....."I'll make him pay"

[Owlie note:I know Zero is not like that....but I cannot help but imagine him and buddha as siblings fighting for Y/N's attention)

~RECORD OF RAGNAROK no sense 🤪~

Episode 15

~The greek gods are fighting unknown creatures whose stole people's hearts~

Zeus:there are too many of those bastards !!

Poseidon:*destroys heartless* they never end!

Hades:Wait....where's Y/N!?

Adamas:HOW can you lose that pipsqueak?!

Y/N:*screams*

Heartless1:*steals Y/N's spear*

Y/N:HEY!

Heartless2:*steals their shields*

Y/N:wait a minute!

Adamas:For fuck sake!!!*runs to Y/N*

*Heartless approach Y/N*

Y/N:......*starts dancing*

Y/N:*destroys every single heartless*

Adamas:....

Hades:0_0

Poseidon: 😐

Y/N: This is what you thieves deserve*takes their weapons back*

Zeus: YEAH TELL THEM!*proud* I'm so happy that she used my moves.

Adamas:.... You need an idiot to make an idiot....

Poseidon:....Hades...do not leave her alone with Zeus again.

Hades: *sighs in agreement*

~RECORD OF RAGNAROK no sense🤪 ~

Episode 16

Loki:*black eye *

Thor:....what did you do this time?

Loki:... Ask Y/N...

Thor:????

Thor:*black eye*

Hermes:What happened to you???

Thor/Loki: Ask Y/N.

Hermes:???

Hermes:*black eye*

Loki:....

Thor:....

Hercules:Should I even ask what happened to you?

Loki/Hermes/Thor:Ask Y/N.

Hercules:*with a black eye* ....

Shiva:....Guys what the heck happened to you??

Loki/Hermes/Thor:Ask...

Hercules:*on the verge of crying* I just asked Y/N what happened. She said nothing but it was clear that something was wrong so I asked her why she was angry and then she punched me!*crying*

Loki:Idiot...now he won't know our pain.

Shiva:So you wanted to send me to her just to get punched.

Loki:Exactly.

Shiva:Well I wouldn't have done that regardless.

Thor:Why?

Shiva:Are you serious?! Like hell I will approach that girl while she is on her period. Having 3 wives sure teaches you something about it.

The 4 gods:.....Oh that's why she was angry....

Shiva:*facepalm* "Idiots"

[Owlie note: IT WAS HARD TO ME WRITING HERCULES GETTING HURT🥺]

~RECORD OF RAGNAROK no sense 🤪~

Episode 17

Adamas:....

Y/N:*smiles*

Adamas:Go away pipsqueak.

Y/N:Nope.

Adamas: Pipsqueak....are you asking for death?*clearly pissed *

Y/N:Nah,I'd like to live for a while longer.

Adamas:Then go away. *turns around*

Y/N: You're no fun, but you're lucky that I still love you.

Adamas:...I don't care...

Y/N:Yes, you do.*kisses his cheek* See you later, dear husband.*leaves*

Adamas:.....*Adamas.exe.has stopped.working*

Zeus:Bleah*gag noise*

Poseidon:Y/N sure knows how to shut him up.

Hades*smiles*ahh young love

~RECORD OF RAGNAROK no sense 🤪~

Episode 18

(Oowlie Note: the reader here MUST be biologically a female, so I have to use she/her pronouns I'm sorry for my non binary readers 😥)

Y/N:*having a nice talk with Jack while sitting on Heracles' legs*

Snake:*enters in the room * "Why do I have to bring the message to Lord Hercules !? Why Hermes couldn't do it!? Worst of all Adam is here..." *clearly pissed*

Y/N:*stops talking*

Jack:Dear, is there something wrong?? Is the tea not of your liking? *clearly sad*

Y/N:*stands up and smiles* Oh Jack, I do like this tea I just have to....do a little thing right now.

Jack:*confused*

Heracles:*remembering that time in episode 16 * "Oh shit"

Y/N:*walking towards the Snake*

Snake:What do you want, lowly human?

Y/N:*punches him with all the strength she has in her body*

Adam:*claps*

Lu Bu:*thumbs up*

Owlie:*films everything*

Snake:WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU!?

Y/N:....this.....IS FOR THE PAIN THAT EVERY SINGLE WOMAN HAS TO ENDURE EVERY FUCKING MONTH.

Snake:...what?

Y/N:YOU AND THAT DAMN APPLE!! YOU ARE THE FUCKING REASON OF OUR PAIN AND SUFFERING *kicks him*

Snake:STOP IT! I DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU ARE TALKING ABOUT!!

Y/N: I'LL AVENGE ALL MY FELLOW SISTERS!

Adam: Yeah! Make him pay sweetie!

Eve/Jack:...."Should I tell her...that he is not actually the reason why they/we have our period?"*sweatdrop*

Nostradamus: Wait.... you think that's why you have your periods? ....

Nostradamus: *laughs*HAHAHAHA OH MY, FOR REAL?!!! HAHAHAA You women are all s-

Y/N:*turns around*

Nostradamus:...sssssssso strong to endure that pain! Snake you should pay for your crimes!*clearly shaking in fear*

Snake: WHAT!?

All the men inside the room: "Nice save Nostradamus"

Hlök : Where the hell is that psychotic idiot

Others : *shrugs*

Y/N : Don't worry, i got this

*stands up and cleaning them self a bit*

Y/N : PREPARE FOR TROUBLES *insert whatever they are posing*

silence....

Hlök : wtf you are trying to do-

Jack : *jumps out of nowhere and breaks the window and doing his gentleman pose* MAKE IT DOUBLE~

Y/N: To protect the world from devastation!!!*dramatic pose*

Jack:To unite all peoples within our nation!*dramatic pose*

Y/N:To denounce the evils of truth and love!!*keeps doing poses*

Jack: To extend our reach to the stars above!! *doing the same*

Y/N: Y/N!!

Jack: Jack!!

Y/N: Team Psycho, blast off at the speed of light!

Jack: Surrender now, or prepare to fight!

Heracles:*dressed as a Meowth*Meow!That's right!

Adam:*proud dad throws roses for his children *

Hlök:.....You.....really need a therapist....