Roman: So I'm Going To Grab A Healthy Breakfast

Roman: So I'm going to grab a healthy breakfast

Logan: Are those gummy bears wrapped in a fruit roll-up?

Roman: Breakfast burrito, but yeah

Logan: I pity your dentist

Roman: Jokes on you! I don't have a dentist

Deceit: Virgil is not my son!

Logan: Then why do you have his report card on the refrigerator?

Deceit: He got all A's. I was proud, so what?

Patton: What about that crayon drawing next to it?

Roman: Wait, Virgil did that? It looks like a child did it. I thought it was Remus's

Deceit: Excuse me! My talented son worked very hard on that beautiful drawing and if you don't take that back right this second I will kick your a** all the way to the f**king core of the earth!

Everyone: ...

Deceit: ... I mean I don't like them either *Awkward laugh*

Roman: Its always the same 2 blue eyes comparisons. The ocean or sky. Like come on at least be a bit creative.

Logan: His eyes were as blue as the blue liquid used in commercials for cleaning

Virgil: His eyes were as blue as my tumbler dashboard

Patton: His eyes were as blue as a really blue thing

Virgil: *Holding a dog treat like a cigarette* ya know. in the scheme of things. houses are just tupperware and we are just gods leftovers.

Emilie (his therapist): *visibly shaking* How did you get in my bathtub?

Roman and Remus: *Fighting to death over a slice of cake*

Virgil: *In the corner having a midlife crisis*

Patton: *crying*

Logan: *just trying to get everyone to stop*

Deceit: ...

Deceit: Best Birthday Ever

Kid Virgil: Yeah that's the point, that's definitely the point, were totally not here to steal it and use it to get hella b***hes

Remus: You still play with crayons Vee, you don't even know what hella b***hes is!

Kid Virgil: Yeah, Its where you get a bunch of female dogs and pet them all at once

Deceit & Remus: *Laughing there a**es off*

Kid Virgil: What do you mean I love dogs! I WANT A PUPPY! YOU PROMISED ME A PUPPY IF WE DID THIS!