Remussanders - Tumblr Posts
Roman: I'm the winner!
Deceit: what no its Remus
Remus: FUCK YOU
Roman: OMG HES NOT CENSORED!
Logan: You can't say that!
Virgil: HE CAN SAY IT BUT I CANT! DOUBLE STANDARDS!
Remus: A man isn't defined by his past...
Deceit: *Points at the dead body* WHAT DO YOU MEAN! YOU JUST RAN OVER THAT GUY!
Remus: People make mistakes~
Roman: who's the hottest uber driver you've had?
Remus: uh, I never went to oover gava
Logan: You guys are psychos! You've seen one too many TV shows!
Remus: Watching TV Shows doesn't create psychos Logan! Cancelling them does! *Stabs Roman* The Wayans Brothers was a good show man! It was a good-ass show and we didn't even get a final episode!
Deceit: *Deceit and Remus sitting on the sofa* So what did you want to show me?
Remus: ...
Remus: ALEXA UNLEASH THE BEAST!
*hundreds of roombas emerge from every corner of the room*
Deceit: JESUS CHRIST!
Kid Roman: Dad I think theres something in my room
Patton: There's nothing here-
Kid Remus: *falls off the ceiling* OH SO IM NOTHING NOW
Patton & Kid Roman: *Screams*
Remus: DECEIT IS THAT A POLICE?
Deceit: No...
Remus: IM CALLING THE WEED
Remus: *puts 420 on the microwave*-
Mircowave: The weed speaking, what ya smoking
Deceit: ...this is why virgil left...
Remus: *Slaps the roof of the bin* This bad boy can fit do many snakes in it
Deceit:
Deceit: Im not getting in that.
Remus: F***ing useless
Patton: Okay, the key with kids is establishing the alpha. Remus, dwop it. Pwease dwop it. I'll give you anything you want.
Logan: Oh, Remus is the alpha. Didn't expect that.
Deceit: Im pretending to be a hot guy on tinder so i can match with Remus and tell him coming over so he'll clean the apartment
Virgil: Did it work?
Deceit: No but he sent me a d**k pic so thats nice
Logan: So basically um what I was thinking was
Remus: *Rips Logans teeth out*
Logan: Oh f**k, I can't believe you've done this
Remus: OH YOU DON'T GET IT! ANIME IS FULL OF EMOTION!
Logan: OH REALLY? IS *does a cute anime pose* AN EMOTION?
Remus: *Blushes* IT CAUSES THEM!
Kid Virgil: Yeah that's the point, that's definitely the point, were totally not here to steal it and use it to get hella b***hes
Remus: You still play with crayons Vee, you don't even know what hella b***hes is!
Kid Virgil: Yeah, Its where you get a bunch of female dogs and pet them all at once
Deceit & Remus: *Laughing there a**es off*
Kid Virgil: What do you mean I love dogs! I WANT A PUPPY! YOU PROMISED ME A PUPPY IF WE DID THIS!
Patton: What do you want to be when your older?
Remus: A dinosaur!
Patton: Oh Remus
*Later*
Remus: *Running around as a T-rex*
Patton: I should have listened
Logan: You guys are crying over a dude who has a 3rd grade reading level. He's not ignoring your texts, *Points to the twins* he's sounding them out! Give him a moment!
Remus:*Standing at the top of the stairs with a ball up his shirt* IM PREGNANT
Logan: With all of the options. Why did I pick you?
Remus: BECAUSE IM CARRYING OUR CHILD!
I just had a thought,
What if in the next episode Remus is in he appears behind the TV again and like in the blooper video he gets stuck. I can just imagine the video continues but in the background you can just hear Remus desperately trying to get unstuck. And when Roman is talking you can see Remus behind him trying to wiggle his way out.
Sorry if this doesn't have the best grammar. The thought just made me laugh.
Deceit: Virgil is not my son!
Logan: Then why do you have his report card on the refrigerator?
Deceit: He got all A's. I was proud, so what?
Patton: What about that crayon drawing next to it?
Roman: Wait, Virgil did that? It looks like a child did it. I thought it was Remus's
Deceit: Excuse me! My talented son worked very hard on that beautiful drawing and if you don't take that back right this second I will kick your a** all the way to the f**king core of the earth!
Everyone: ...
Deceit: ... I mean I don't like them either *Awkward laugh*
Roman: *Sneezes*
Remus: *Sitting on the ceiling* Bless you
Roman:
Roman: God?
Deceit & Remus: -2, 1! Happy new year! *Kisses*
Logan: It's April! Stop making out everytime the microwave goes off!