Pattonsanders - Tumblr Posts
Virgil: *Wearing sunglasses on a skateboard* Thomas drank that water he left in the other room so I've decided im gonna truly live in till the poisons kick in
Patton: Why do you have a skateboard?
Virgil: *Looks into the distance for a dramatic scene* Gonna go skate off in till its time
Virgil: *Tries to skate off and lands on his face*
Patton: Lo
Logan: Pat, im here to pick up the kid
Patton: You'll have to wait hes tying his shoes
Logan: He can do it in the car
Virgil: Can you two stop calling me a kid im right here!
Logan: Virgil the adults are talking
Patton: *Grabs onto Virgil's hood* Your not escaping this one kiddo!
Virgil: You do realise I can just * slips out of hoodie*
Patton: *Grabs Virgil's shirt* What you gonna do now, take your shirt off?
Roman: please do
Virgil: what
Roman: what
Thomas: *Summons the sides*
Roman: Are you serious! I was in the middle of a battle!
Patton: Kiddo why is there a sword in your chest.
Roman: oh yeah forgot about that
Roman: *Passes out*
Types of Mums:
Logan: THERES NO TIME FOR CEREAL! HERE WERE DOING GRANOLA BARS! NO TIME FOR GRANOLA BARS!
Deceit: F**K IT WE'LL JUST HAVE BREAKFAST AT LUNCH AND MOVE LUNCH TO DINNER! EVERYONE GRAB SOME COFFEE CUS DINNERS GONNA BE HAPPENING AT THREE IN THE MORNING!
Logan: *Over the phone* PATTON I NEED HELP! I PASTED OUT AND THE KIDS PUT ME IN THE DINO COSTUME AND THEN THEY PUT ME IN THE POOL!
Deceit: YOU THINK ITS BAD? MY KIDS ARE AT THE AGE WHERE THERE HAVING S*X! WITH EACH OTHER! *Pulls gun out* ITS NOT A CRIME IF ITS YOUR KID!
Roman: Don't worry, with Virgil we can conquer anything
Virgil: And were also gonna need a boat
Roman: With Virgil and a boat we can conquer anything
Patton: And an experienced sea captain
Roman: UGH! With Virgil, a boat and an experienced sea captain we can conquer anything
Virgil: I'm telling you Pat, I'm a thug. A rebalous child. My life be like oh ah-
Virgil: *Walks into post* Ow!
Kid Roman: Dad I think theres something in my room
Patton: There's nothing here-
Kid Remus: *falls off the ceiling* OH SO IM NOTHING NOW
Patton & Kid Roman: *Screams*
Patton: Happy Birthday Virgil
Virgil: I cant swim
Everyone: what
Virgil: You uncultured swines
Patton: Okay, the key with kids is establishing the alpha. Remus, dwop it. Pwease dwop it. I'll give you anything you want.
Logan: Oh, Remus is the alpha. Didn't expect that.
Logan: Virgil can you, as the kids would say, T-Pose?
Virgil: *Snickers* Okay? *T-poses*
Patton: *Sprints in the room and hugs Virgil*
Virgil: *Gasps* A set up!
Patton: You know, Roman gives Virgil flowers everyday. I wish you'd do that.
Logan: okay?
*Later*
Virgil: Wha...
Logan: *Handing him flowers* I don't get it either
Updated angst theme songs
Virgil: Brave As A Noun ~ Andrew Jackson Jihad
Roman: 100 Bad Days ~ AJH
Logan: Born Without A Heart ~ Faouzia
Patton: Little Girl ~ Faith Marie
Deceit: Stupid & Anxious ~ Joel Faviere
Logan: *Cuts his finger* Ow
Patton: Don't worry I got you! *Kisses Logan's finger*
Logan: *Blushing* what...
Patton: On things I've watched parent's give there kiddos kisses when they hurt themself to make them feel better
*Later*
Roman: *Writing*
Logan: *Kicks the door down* ROMAN I NEED YOU TO PUNCH ME IN THE MOUTH
Roman: *Confused screaming*
Roman: Its always the same 2 blue eyes comparisons. The ocean or sky. Like come on at least be a bit creative.
Logan: His eyes were as blue as the blue liquid used in commercials for cleaning
Virgil: His eyes were as blue as my tumbler dashboard
Patton: His eyes were as blue as a really blue thing
Patton: What do you want to be when your older?
Remus: A dinosaur!
Patton: Oh Remus
*Later*
Remus: *Running around as a T-rex*
Patton: I should have listened
Logan: Virgil are those hickeys?
Virgil: *blushing* They are... um... kisses from the universe!
Logan: Kisses from the universe? Are you stupid or-
Patton: KISSES FROM THE UNIVERSE? CAN I HAVE A KISS FROM THE UNIVERSE!
Roman: Ask Logan
Patton: *turns to Logan* Logan can you give me kisses from the universe?
Logan: ...
Logan: *walks away because he's blushing* I hate you all!
Deceit: Virgil is not my son!
Logan: Then why do you have his report card on the refrigerator?
Deceit: He got all A's. I was proud, so what?
Patton: What about that crayon drawing next to it?
Roman: Wait, Virgil did that? It looks like a child did it. I thought it was Remus's
Deceit: Excuse me! My talented son worked very hard on that beautiful drawing and if you don't take that back right this second I will kick your a** all the way to the f**king core of the earth!
Everyone: ...
Deceit: ... I mean I don't like them either *Awkward laugh*
Virgil: Why are Patton and Logan sitting back to back?
Roman: They had a fight
Virgil: Why are they holding hands?
Roman: They get sad when they fight
Patton: You know what, we're smart to smartypants
Logan: Then what's the difference between a gametes and a zygote?
Roman: Don't fall for it Pat! He's just making up words!