"Do You Miss Me?"

"Do you miss me?"

"No."

"You're lying."

"If you know the answer, why do you bother asking?"

"I don't know."

"You're lying."

"Because I want to hear you say it."

I want my name on your lips again. I want to hear your voice when it is dripping in desire and know it is for me. I want to hear your want. I want to hear you want me.

- re-writing the conversations we had

What a privilege it is to ache so violently.

To bleed all over the bedroom carpet and not worry about the stains.

How costly it is to hurt so recklessly.

- you must pay for what you break// even if it is a heart// even if it yourself

atrophy

I need help <3 I read this quote that went something like "Look at you, writing all the words you want to hear." Or "Look at you, saying all the things you wish would be said to you." But clearly, that's not what the quote said because google is being especially unhelpful. I think it was said by an old author, but I don't know for sure. Does anyone have any idea in the slightest of the quote I might be talking about? :)

I don't think smut scenes are supposed to make you cry but clearly Rainbow Rowell didn't get the memo because "If I want him warm, I have to do it myself" and "I can see him, even when I cant, even with my eyes closed- I know him too well" and "Is this was people do? Get as close as they can and then push closer? Burn each other into every gap? And then what? Then just tomorrow and more?" and "Just kiss me for the sake of kissing me" and "I want my sheets to smell like you" and "Be gentle with me...even though you don't have to" and "Don't say please. Why not? Because you don't have to. I'll give you whatever you want" and "I couldn't break him if I tried. I won't try" and "Is this what he wants? Is this what I'm allowed to take?" and "I was never magic" and "Is this magic? Is this enough?" And now I'm sobbing.

I haven't been sleeping well these days. There is catastrophe blossoming beneath my skin. I live in fear of the person I am always just one mistake away from becoming.