Autism Problems - Tumblr Posts
No no you don't understand! I want to watch this show/movie, read this book, listen to this podcast, etc.! But I must be in the right mindset and the exact head space to begin, or I just can't!
I feel like no matter how much I'm good at everything I do, my value is still seen as nonexistent 'cause I'm not good-looking, I have lots of struggles with social interactions and my few "defects" are exactly what scare and push away anybody from me which doesn't happen with anybody else and it's really hard to not feel like a waste
Autism is when you dissasociate because theres so many people talking at once and you can't focus because for some god forsaken reason you can hear electricity and then somehow you a way to leave the situation to blast loud music through bulky headphones and colorcoding turtle facts.
Autism is also when you want to share your special interests with the people you love and they don't care about it and tell you to shut up and feeling upset about it and have a meltdown like an hour later and wanting some deep pressure therapy but you have no service dog and nobody to lay flat across your chest so you pile up a whole lot of pillows to try and help it but nothing works.
When your tism makes you forget what you're "supposed" to sound like after mimicking an accent and then you become existential about what even is "you".
My boyfriend just woke up, mostly still asleep and told me “don’t worry, it’s getting better” in a heavy, American accent, which is unusual for an Australian man.
“Why are you American?” I asked, to which I got:
“Sorry, it’s getting better” in a stereotypical posh English accent.
“Why are you English?” I asked, amused.
“What is he normally?” He managed to ask.
“He? You’re not anyone else, you’re you.”
“Ugh, me” was the last thing he said, in a right proper Aussie accent before he fell back into proper sleep.
Nearly 4am.
I decided to stay up in order to write a 2000 word portfolio that was due a month ago.
I still haven't started...