Captain Obvious - Tumblr Posts
Oh my gosh, I have SO many things to say about this:
If you see an anonymous goo seeping through the window, don’t stick your finger in it. And for the love of God, don’t eat it! Someone feed this kid!
We’re stuck? OMG I had no idea, thanks Captain Obvious.
No one liked Luke’s new boyfriend Mark. He claimed he didn’t own a speedo & his out of control beard felt more than suspicious. Mark’s antics were ruining Eqypt. What was the point of traveling 1000s of miles if they couldn’t enjoy the bounties of the river?
Chris gave the relationship two, maybe three days. They’d all be home by then. Brad asked Chris if maybe Mark was in chastity. Luke’s ‘lost” the keys before making his boy’s act all strange. Chris said that was unlikely. Mark used excessive punctuation in his text messages and was 22.
After reviewing conversations with Mark on both of their phones, Brad enacted a plan to strategically ‘bump’ into Mark from behind to cup a feel for a belt. While the first attempt yielded nothing, a second and much slower go from the back dictated evidence that Chris was indeed correct. Unexpected, Luke was likely versatile.
When Brad and Chris asked Luke about playing multiple fields he replied ‘no’ then motioned to the water around them. Brad said Captain Obvious couldn’t touch that with a 6 foot pole. Chris then told Brad he could touch his pole. Just like that, Luke was back on top. Then Mark walked in wearing a speedo.
Enlightenment wasn’t what anyone expected. You could see everything, and oddly it took nothing away.
WOAH WOAH WOAH... OK. THIS was all too much. Brad could see these BOX's were throwing him, Chris and the gays for a loop. It had to stop if they were to clear their heads. With that Brad got scissors and Chris got laid.
The Obvious twins didn’t read “Captain” to Chris and Brad. Now what?!? Auditioning for BOX underwear awkward enough.
Brad put his electric gray camisole down somewhere…. Maybe it was where he left it. The most difficult solution was always the most obvious problem.
Deep down, Brad and Chris’ neighbor Luke knew there was an “I” “aye” or “eye” in team. He just didn’t know which one.
ARRR!
Presented Without Commentary: Captain Obvious