Gayborhood - Tumblr Posts
Chris wondered what flavor of Hawaii Brad might taste like. He sure new how to pack a punch.
Luke Elsman
Brad and Chris admired their neighbor Luke for so many reasons, but mostly because he was super low maintenance. Mostly.
No one liked Luke’s new boyfriend Mark. He claimed he didn’t own a speedo & his out of control beard felt more than suspicious. Mark’s antics were ruining Eqypt. What was the point of traveling 1000s of miles if they couldn’t enjoy the bounties of the river?
Chris gave the relationship two, maybe three days. They’d all be home by then. Brad asked Chris if maybe Mark was in chastity. Luke’s ‘lost” the keys before making his boy’s act all strange. Chris said that was unlikely. Mark used excessive punctuation in his text messages and was 22.
After reviewing conversations with Mark on both of their phones, Brad enacted a plan to strategically ‘bump’ into Mark from behind to cup a feel for a belt. While the first attempt yielded nothing, a second and much slower go from the back dictated evidence that Chris was indeed correct. Unexpected, Luke was likely versatile.
When Brad and Chris asked Luke about playing multiple fields he replied ‘no’ then motioned to the water around them. Brad said Captain Obvious couldn’t touch that with a 6 foot pole. Chris then told Brad he could touch his pole. Just like that, Luke was back on top. Then Mark walked in wearing a speedo.
Enlightenment wasn’t what anyone expected. You could see everything, and oddly it took nothing away.
Gustavio seemed a little full of himself. Neither Brad or Chris ever wore a watch. They didn’t have a tv nor felt it necessary to make weather people feel insecure about their jobs more than they already were. They did haute coture runway just as well if not better. So what if they were from America.
While Brad and Chris gallented in greener pastures, Gustavio furiously ran every red light. Admittedly, a feat in itself on an island without a single traffic signal. Now why did we start talking about this goon?
Oh yeah. He’s like REALLY HOT. Allegedly also a person just like us, Brad and Chris. Don't worry. We hold our doubts about us too. Namely who’s who. We can't tell ourselves. That’s how we know somethings real. Whut exactly is real TBD. TBA or just the T. Sometimes Y.
Whatev. Just horny right now. HEY. Who's THIS GUY?!?! He is... UGGHHH! Gustavio.
How the hell do eyes have corners anyway? Can we just NOT?!
The Labor Day gayborhood pot luck sat just around the corner and everyone rushed the sign up sheet the moment it was posted. Would Brad, Chris, and their neighbor Luke serve up their infamous three piece spicy Himbolaya?
Yes hunties! YES. They wood for all.
Brad further pleaded to his boyfriend.
“So what Chris? Sure it’s 72 degrees and sunny. Wasn’t this everyday in LA?”
After five seconds of silence Brad had it. Things were about to get real.
“Listen Chris. You can’t wear that jockstrap and think I’m not gonna want to stay inside.“
Turns out their neighbor Luke felt the same way. He let himself in through the back door after seeing Chris in the picture window under the assumption it was an open invitation.
According to Chris “it wasn’t but it was tho not entirely accidental nor really intentional either.”
Brad thought things read more happenstancial then questioned if that was even a word.
Luke said “it just was what it was, so that made it a ‘why not just go for it’ kind of a thing.”
They went for it.
Ahhhh…. Boys. They do change but only out of clothes to get laid.