Daily Journal - Tumblr Posts

Today was a mix again, but I'd say it was mostly wholesome than bad. I woke up with anxiety as per usual, my stomach was hurting and I just burst into tears, because yesterday night I decided I wanted to go to my uni classes again and felt like in these conditions, I couldn't. My aunt tried to calm me, told me to take my meds and advised me to pray to God and believe he will be with me during the whole day (confession; I've been on and off with religion for years and been ashamed to pray to God after my diganosis, but I've been doing it for weeks now, trying to reconnect to him and to my faith and I can feel the providence every day, I believe there has to be someone listening to me out there). With that faith, and the faith in myself (and the meds, obviously), I managed to go to class. I talked to my professor, told him about my struggles and he was very understanding. Fortunately, I didn't feel the need to go out and could stay in the classroom during the whole lecture (I had one panic coming on though, felt it in my chest vividly, but I decided not to panic and face it, and it quickly went away - it felt like such a winning moment.) The rest of the day was okay too - I succeeded in coming back to my dorm room without panicking on the metro and the tram, I am almost finished with my MA thesis and I still have time to read through the seminar papers for tomorrow's lessons, because yes, I intend to go to uni tomorrow too. Fingers crossed I will succeed!

Friendly reminder: faith is important. It doesn't matter who or what you belive in, as long as you believe in something. Most importantly: believe and have faith in yourself. It's hard, I know it is, but you are stronger than you think!

Believe. Believe. Believe. You are perfectly capable.

- Reni

I'm so happy, guys!

Today was the first day I felt that there is a way out of this cruel, fearful condition! I went to uni without my meds, had multiple great conversations and finally cried out of happiness, joy and of being greatful. I can feel the providence of God and how I am on the path of healing. The World felt beautiful today and I was greatful to be alive. It was magic, it was wonderful, truly a miracle. I don't know what tomorrow will bring, but now at least I know one thing for sure: you should never give up! And always always believe that life can shift in miraculous and unexpected ways!

Have faith, stay strong and be kind. Believe that providence is always with you!

- Reni

the events of 21/02/2024 || wednesday

these past few days have not been it, yesterday I made some goals towards an event coming up on the 29th of March and I have not really done any task/habit under them

I've been feeling so weak and lazy soo unmotivated and it sucks, kinda self-hating, the only thing I've been able to do lately is play among us

● today I made some doodles and journaled a little

● updated my notion after so long

● slept through most of the day and I feel so uncomfortable in my own skin

🎧 stupid in love ~ max ft huh yunjin

🎬 the office ~ goodbye Toby [not Andy stealing Jim's proposal]

Tue/050724//10.01 PM

I started my day so late today, but I'll take it. It's still a win since I did better than yesterday. I did some things today :) I brewed a delicious coffee (it was Kintamani beans from Bali, Indonesia!) and updated the design guidelines for an online campaign I'm in charge of. I even contacted the new graphic designer right away! Considering I'm pretty bad at texting, getting a potentially positive response today is a pretty big yay for me :D I didn't manage to update the content brief I intended to finish today. But I'll try to make time for it tomorrow.

I hope I can get a nice sleep tonight and wake up early (and freshly) tomorrow! <3

<Day 1/100> <100 days of productivity>

(Daily Journal 🌼)

Wed, May 8, 2024

🤍- <6.57 AM> I'm so thankful for the crisp air I got to breathe in this morning after the rain. I couldn't sleep last night, but I'm happy I still found the energy to get up and get going. At least I didn't give up and end up stuck in bed all day.

< TO DO >

Focus goals

• Catch up on Statistics study materials and assignments • Make some progress on the marketing campaign strategy

Focus tasks 🌼

✅ Discussion 4 - Statistics (9 AM - 12 PM) ✅ Marketing campaign strategy - draft (1 - 4 PM)

Other tasks

• Catch up on the overdue Statistics tasks (Discussion 1-3, Assignment 1) • Set up the mediation house social media • Update content brief - growth mindset campaign

°

🌙 - <11 PM> I didn't do much, but hey, good job, me! At least you finished the main tasks! (giving myself a comforting pat on the back :3). I need to get moving and nourish myself so I can get more restful sleep and pack even more activities into my day!

<DAY 2/100> <100 DAYS OF PRODUCTIVITY>

(Daily Journal 🌼)

Thu, May 16, 2024

//revenge time or healing time??? 🤔//

🤍- I'm grateful for my mom, my dad, my bro, and my little cat family, which always makes me smile (mama cat just gave birth to four more cuties, so there are seven of them now!). I'm really thankful for the clean air that I still can breathe despite being sick for a week :") I'm happy that I'm getting way better today, and hopefully I can start running again tomorrow!

< TODAY >

Cleaned my room

Did revenge study session, reviewing 5 chapters of Statistics + prestudy 1 chapter for next week

< TOMORROW >

Focus goals

• Feel my body again (get moving!!) • Nail the Statistics problems

Focus tasks 🌼

✅ Morning run (30 mins minimum, but aim for 1 hour) ✅ Solve 20-30 Statistics problems (9 AM - 12 PM)

Other tasks

• Do Laundry

(Daily Journal 🌼)

Mon, May 20, 2024

🤍- So, I made this challenge called "Leave Your Room!" Challenge on Habitica bc I had been a severe bed zombie from two weeks ago until last weekend lol. Let's give it a shot for a week and see how it goes :)

-❁-

"Leave Your Room!" Challenge - Day 1: Mom's coffee table :v (Past midnight study sesh)

(Doesn't it look scary? But it's kinda romantic for me :v)

-❁-

(The Challenge)

-❁-

What I did today:

Practiced Statistics, 20 problems (Again?? yes. Bc I'm so bad at it I invest more time in it 😈)

Stretching, 10 mins

Studied Legal Systems, 1 hr

< TOMORROW >

Morning Routine

• Alarm off -> sit up -> drink water -> wash face • Make the bed • Stretching 10 mins

Focus goals

• Study 4 ch. • Growth Mindset campaign - Update June's content brief

Focus tasks 🌼

⬜ To the library ✅ Pick 4 ch. to study from different subjects ✅ Study (8 AM - 12 PM) • Interleave study session • Stop after 1 chapter • 10-20 mins break: choose a reward from the reward dice ✅ Content brief • brainstorm; topics; decide by day; write brief

Other tasks

• To the training center: pick up my barista certificate

(Daily Journal 🌼)

Tue, May 21, 2024

"Leave Your Room!" Challenge - Day 2: The same coffee table (and past midnight study sesh again *sigh)

🤍- I couldn't sleep last night, so I continued doing some statistics again. I'm starting to love it! I'm addicted to Statistics now (maybe until I don't anymore, lol). And it was raining all day, so I couldn't go to the library (I ended up having a pretty long nap). That's why you see the laptop on a lil table in a dark, dimly lit room pic again (it's not the same as yesterday, I promise). Oh, and I just tamed my first Mount on Habitica today! It's a white tiger! (I love white!!)

What I did today:

Practiced Statistics

Studied 4 chapters (different subjects)

Updated June's content brief for the Growth Mindset campaign

I learned that:

Setting a time window to do an activity (e.g., work/study) rather than scheduling specific tasks works better for me. I like it more when I can think intuitively about what I should do in this session based on my mood or how fresh my mind is. Surprisingly, I did more when I did it like that than when I planned what I should do in detail.

I still don't know when I'm most productive, so I think I need to map my energy. Someone suggested doing hourly journaling. 

Setting down expectations makes me less stressed and more productive.

< TOMORROW >

Morning Routine

• Alarm off -> sit up -> drink water -> wash face • Make the bed • Stretching 10 mins

Focus goals

• Study 4 ch. • Have a clear goal for my other projects for the next two weeks.

Focus tasks 🌼

✅ To the library ✅ Study (8 AM - 12 PM) ✅ Work (2 PM - 5 PM) • Assess progress; figure out the next step • Intuitively choose something to work on on the spot.

ヾ(≧▽≦*)o

(Daily Journal 🌼)

Wed, May 22, 2024

"Leave Your Room!" Challenge - Day 3: Local Library

🤍 - Nothing fancy, but leaving your comfy bedroom is a game changer for a remote worker and online student like me. It goes to my achievement record :) + Look at that silly cat snoozing on the road without a care in the world >,<

Today I:

Did morning stretching, 10 mins

Studied 4 chapters

Modified the brand guide for the mediation house

< TOMORROW >

My plan is to keep studying every day, morning to noon, until exams (31 days left)

Write/draft 3 articles for the mediation house's blog (2 PM - 5 PM)

-

🌙 - I hate the unnecessary negative self-talk that I always did to myself. But I can't deny that I don't like my life right now. I don't blame anyone; I don't blame fate or whatever you call it that is not in my control. I just hate me for not being able to control myself.

Have you ever envied someone's hard work? Have you ever been jealous when you see people tired after accomplishing things or going through a packed day? For some people, leisure time and slow living are a luxury. I think they are, too, when you have them with a meaningful life. But I don't. My slow living is a product of my constant overthinks and escapism. 

Why can't I do it without any worries? Why can't I fall and stand up? Why can't I fail and grow stronger? Give me that failure after a whole hardship! I don't mind it! I just want to know how working hard feels without being repressed by my own mind.

-

(Daily Journal🌼)

Sat, June 1st, 2024

🤍- I woke up so fresh today!! <3 // I witnessed how close my dad is with children and cats around our neighborhood lol. I'm thankful to have a soft-hearted dad like him.

🌞- 4.59 AM

• cleaned my house 📚- practiced Stats • grocery shopping with dad • cooked dinner 📚- revised Eco

°

📈📚- 8 hrs, 4 chapters

🌜- I started my day with a light breakfast and some coffee and felt dizzy around lunchtime. I should've eaten more before drinking coffee. I used so much time to prepare meals, I need a more efficient strategy.

<Habit Tracker>

💧 ≓ 2/2L 🌞[ 4 AM ] ⬜ 🤸🏻‍♀️[ morning stretch ] ⬜ 📴 [ 9 PM ] ✅

(´｡• ᵕ •｡`) ♡

(Daily Journal 🌼)

Sun, June 2, 2024

🤍- I'm thankful for the fleeting moments I had with my cute little kittens—cute little angels (I hope they're peaceful in a better place now <3 ) // Mom and bro came home yesterday :))

🌞- 3.30 AM

• cleaned house 📚- revised Eco • family dinner time <3

∘

📈📚- ≓1 hr, 1 chapter

<Habit Tracker>

💧 ≓2/2L 🌞[ 4 AM ] ✅ 🤸🏻‍♀️[ morning stretch ] ⬜ 📴 [ 9 PM ] ✅

🔺cw: disturbing cause of pet's death under the cut

🌜- I was sleeping peacefully, cuddling with Noni (one of my cats), when he jolted from his sleep. He was furious, so I got up to see what happened. It turned out that his baby siblings had been attacked by a male cat. I didn't believe that thing about male cats was real until I witnessed it myself. I didn't know how that old feral male cat got into our house too. I cried because one of the kittens had gone that morning, but I cried more in the afternoon because another couldn't survive. It got bitten on the stomach. The wound was treated, and it was okay until its mom moved it somewhere else in the afternoon. It was bleeding again and couldn't last long.

I still opened my book and attempted to study as planned, but I couldn't focus. According to my Forest record, I had been trying to focus for 8 hours but didn't do much during my study sessions. Some guests came to visit my dad at different times today, so I got distracted a lot too. But I had a nice nap today. I chatted with my mom and bro too after a while. So today wasn't too bad either. I hope tomorrow will be brighter :))

What a bittersweet day :)

I should've taken more pics of them. These are the only ones I have :"

(´｡• ᵕ •｡`) ♡

(Daily Journal 🌼)

Mon, June 3, 2024

🤍- I'm super proud of the coffee I made this morning. It was one of the best brews!

😴🌞- [9.30 PM - 3.30 AM]

• 🔐 • brewed coffee • morning stretch 📚- revised Eco • scanned some files • helped mom with admin things • washed dishes

∘

📈📚- 7 hrs 14 mins, 3 chapters

<Habit Tracker>

💧 ≓2/2L 🌞[ 4 AM ] ✅ 🤸🏻‍♀️[ morning stretch ] ✅ 📴 [ 9 PM ] ⬜

🌜- I woke up early and fresh this morning, but the day went pretty slow. Some of the Economics quiz questions really dragged me on, so I ended up taking more and longer breaks. Gotta manage my energy level better and study more efficiently tomorrow! (+ I rushed through writing this post because it’s almost 11 PM, and ugh!)

~(>_<。)＼

(Daily Journal 🌼)

Wed, June 5, 2024

🤍- This morning, the power was out for six hours. I couldn't use my laptop, but thanks to that, I got to enjoy the morning sun. The afternoon sun was just as great! I'm grateful for that :)

🌞-6 AM

• morning stretch 📚- revised Eco • had a short nap • meal prepped

∘

📈📚- 5 hrs 30 mins, 3 chapters

<Habit Tracker>

💧 ≓2/2L 🌞[ 4 AM ] ⬜ 🤸🏻‍♀️[ morning stretch ] ✅ 📴 [ 9 PM ] ✅

🌜 I hope I can wake up early tomorrow and study more in the morning so I can go to sleep earlier.

(´｡• ᵕ •｡`) ♡

//Sun, June 23, 2024//

One exam done! :) ♡

I was so surprised at how relaxed I felt yesterday until the end of the exam this morning. The exam started at 7 AM!!! It's been a while since I left my house that early >,< But I love the morning air :)

(some pics from yesterday)