Dark Portrait - Tumblr Posts

Emil Melmoth

Bear Trap 🥀 (my trendy hipster style look book and alternative outcast poem reading)

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my poem:

I bloom as fast as the flowers

Late in June

I take a while

Do you know I was a kid once?

Same

Body

I still wear the same sweater, from back when I was 14

Back when I had nobody to please

Just being me or the “me” my parents let me be

I can’t wait my turn

Not no more

Patience is a lie

When you’re growing inside, all the time

Cross the road when you want

The time is now

Fuck the clock

German Shepard on a chain

Remind me of what my days were

Back when scribbling with chalk on the sidewalk, was all I really wanted

Vapes on the floor

Ditching class and failing p.e

Abandoned car seat

You never really grow up of being a baby

I don’t shine like the sun

Glimmer like the moon

Don’t look at me, not on purpose

Only because you can’t look away

Pay attention to me, what do you do want from me?

I’m only giving myself out for free

For the feelings daddy couldn’t give me

The older, the better

The younger, the meaner

More insecure

I’m too 23 to feel free

Give me 30, 40, 50

Love my generation but not enough to kiss them. Date em

Too mentally crazy

And I’m just like them

You can find me hiding in The Alleys

Where’s it’s quiet

And the strays skip happily

Bet you can’t look away, once you do

It’s kiss me or harm me

No in-between

Want me or trap me

Hold my soul, likes it’s yours to own

Can’t catch a butterfly

Can’t force the wind

I’ll be your girl

If you promise me one wish

Freedom

I’m looking for a daddy

Not a dad

There’s a difference

One you only call after midnight

One never calls you back

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poem: Bear Trap by Roger Rudes, (2023).

Daddy Johnny 🖤 (my sad breakup music video)

An-o-rexic Feelings 💋 (my eat-ing-dis-order and trauma poem reading and thrift store style look book)

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my poem:

Anorxxic palm trees

Just like me

Black streets and smokey eyes

No one’s out at this time

Midnight is our sunrise

I’ll take your breath

If you ignite me

Light me up, til I burn alive

Fire in my hands

Warmth in my eyes

I’m not so dead inside

I play empty

To

Forget my regret

Let us remember ourselves tonight

Never been the Barbie doll

Was never skinny enough

And god I’ve tried

Skip my meals

And throwing them up

All the boys I shared

All the men I kissed

Counting my sins

I lose count after 3,000

Does God Think I’m A Slvt?

What’s the point of dreaming

When we can make them come true

I’ll be your secret wish

Pull me in and I’ll show you

All what I can do

I started early, and not by choice

Morphed me into something dirty

But I’m Somebody’s Dream

So what do you say

Wanna take a bite out of this Rotten Cherry

I’m loose with my body

I’ve been around

Everyone’s gotten a taste

I’m not worn out, just lived in

Stuck in my skin

Let me out

With a few inches and a shout

The ultimate sin

Love Before Marriage

Mommy’s Mistake

So I guess you can be my daddy

If you get cold

I’ll lend you my coat

Know you’ll love my perfume

I only spray half the bottle

Cat Calls from across the street

Burnt foil and broken glass on the floor

Welcome Home

Fuck toxic positivity and comatosed living

Taking selfies in the sunlight

God doesn’t have a bed time

So why should I?

I gotta brain

But forget to use it

Burden to everybody

How the hell do I get by

Ducking my head

As I chase the pavement

The only type of guys that want me

Kiss me with their eyes closed

And leave just as fast as they come

They come and they come

But never stay

What do i expect

I don’t even know how to drive

Without causing a traffic jam

Such a shame for the good guys who want a housewife pet

I don’t know how to clean, unless I’m angry and OCD

I wake up with glitter all over my face

Lipstick on my tooth brush

I keep swiping left and right

Scrolling the boredom away

Maybe this one can change my life

Calling a dead number

A disconnected pay phone

God only answers if you plead

That’s what I was taught

Live in fear

Bask in angst

Never use his name in vain

But god are you really always listening?

I wait for your heads up

A nudge on the shoulder

A “this songs playing just for me”

I’m sorry for wasting my youth

But how does one measure growth if not in size

I promise I’m not a waste of a life

Not dead beat like my dad

Forgive me as I light this gentle flower

For some false power

“Forgive me”

I say in my mind

To get me to sleep

Living as River Phoenix

In that gay movie

Making a quick buck with my little tricks

The lead role in nobody’s movie

Tell me the camera loves me

Give me a reason to wear my pretty

I’ll stay open 24 hours a day, 7 days a week

If you undress me with words like poetry

But I’m not studied

But I’ll let you study me

I don’t wanna change but I’ve changed

Still as young as yesterday

Still as naïve as tomorrow

You try to see the good in everything

I just see the truth

I’m not playing ball

Acting like god chose me

Or did I trap myself?

In a body

Once again

Another lifetime of wasted potential

Can’t waste my youth this time

Don’t wanna die old

But it’s written in the stars for me to live til I’m like 80

Just like my granddaddies

A generational curse

A karmic gift

To age with beauty

Or change your name and start from scratch

I’ll be your dark baby

But c’mon I’m way too pretty to be treated like a piece of f-cking meat

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poem: An-o-rexic Feelings by dark baby, (2023).

Dark Baby

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Self isolated

Force my own pity

I'm only lonely when I'm around narcissists like you

I'm so slow

I always miss the joke

I want the punchline

Straight to the gut

I couldn't tell you the last time I smiled

Laughed from my belly

I want it deep

I like it big

Pleasure me

I'm so needy

Addicted to sin

Gorgeous Glory

I wanna feel this energy of youth induced beauty, seeping into my skin

Bite into me

I'm a vampire too

Dark Kids

Dark Girl

Dark Angel 🦇 (my divine feminine aesthetic moodboard and lana del rey music video)

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my poem:

She wears his coat

As if it’s her skin

Tears his heart

And wears it like a necklace

He’s Her’s

And she’s his territory

If skin’s just leather

“I want you to own me”, she whispers with her legs on his tatted shoulders

Used goods, vintage history

“Polish me til I bust like a chimney baby”

She loves the scent of abandoned boys in her hair

Jealous of the side chicks that call him daddy

She’s f-uking the boss and that makes them angry

Burnt but-ts in her pockets

An open condom doesn’t use itself

Everybody needs a bad mommy

If you’re too shy

She’ll take control

Keep your eyes on the road

“I’m not an amateur”

“I’m the best b-tch in town,” she smirks as she bites his cheek

Ditch the roses, they’re for the pretty ones

She only want the thorns

Pain is her pleasure

Sin is her favorite bedtime story

She’s a living fantasy

The only thing missing is her him

A bad boy with scruffed up shoes to match her tortured soul

Look at him stepping out of his beat up corvette, light me up a marlboro too

Don’t remember her name

“It’ll be easier to forget me this way,” she pleads

Her Imperial Affliction

Bruised knees, Ripped black lace

Left with a smile you can’t shake away

Her cigarettes can only distort her thoughts for so long

Some highs only come in the form of a man

“Let me do the praying

I’m told I’m pretty

When I’m on my knees

Begging for mercy

Pleasing comes natural to me

Bliss is so cheap

Cheaper than me,” she repeats like a prayer for solidarity

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my poem:

Good parents, bad choices

Dirty decisions prospered unwarranted experiences

Harsh consequences to my cold conditions

Living life on the street like my baby brother

Kissing strangers who offer to please my needs

On the quest for love i can’t receive

He tattoos his mistakes to remember the pain

She’s no living saint

Just an angel without her wings

A boy who loves too hard

A girl with impossible dreams

Dirty fingers to match her mind

She’s everything he doesn’t need