Dead End Incorrect Quotes - Tumblr Posts

Barney: How do I get my crush to ask me out?

Courtney: You know how everyone says ‘be yourself’?

Barney: *nods*

Courtney: Well don’t do that.

Courtney: The waiter at Olive Garden has been grating my cheese for 2 hours now.

Courtney: Customers are screaming, three people have died.

Courtney: I will not yield.

Pauline: Dont go picking a fight with me. I could make your life difficult.

Barney, sarcastically: Wow, I wonder what it’d be like to have a difficult life

Barney: Are you sure you aren’t dating Badyah?

Norma: Well, if I am, I certainly wasn’t informed of it.

Barney: To be fair, if any of us were dating someone without realizing it, it would be you.

[meanwhile]

Logs: So you and Norma are dating, right?

Badyah: Hell yeah we are.

Norma: Think you can answer some questions without the usual level of sarcasm?

Courtney: Think you can ask some questions without the usual level of stupid?

Badyah: It’s pretty cold outside. We should hold hands to stay warm.

Norma, blushing: okay.

Pugsley: It’s summer! SUMMER!

Barney: How long have you been standing there?

Courtney: Don’t try that, you know the concept of time confuses me.

Pauline: I feel awful about killing you.

Barborah:

Pauline: Even though you technically never died, so I don’t know what you’re bitching about.

Courtney: My pronouns are that bastard and my gender is [REDACTED]

Barney: *running towards Courtney with open arms*

Courtney: *moves out of the way*

Barney: Hey, why'd you move?!

Courtney: I thought you were going to attack me.

Barney: I was going to hug you!

Courtney: Why would you hug me?

Barney: WHY WOULD I ATTACK YOU!?

Barney: We’re playing Scrabble. It’s a nightmare.

Pugsley: Scrabble? Scrabble’s great.

Barney: Not when you’re playing with Norma, it’s not. She puts words like “ephemeral” and I put “dog.”

Norma: Courtney, why did you draw a pentagram on the floor?

Courtney: Your text told me to satanize the house before you returned.

Norma:

Norma: Sanitize. I wrote sanitize, Courtney.

Courtney: What’s it like being tall?

Courtney: Is it nice?

Courtney: Can you reach comfortably for the cupboards?

Barney: We live in constant fear of the short ones who, in my experience, will climb 4 chairs, 2 boxes, a small coffee table and 6 oddly placed stools to get what they want.

Norma: IT WAS ONE TIME!

Barney: Courtney feels bad, Norma.

Norma: I don’t care. I want my waffle back.

Courtney: And this is what the cool kids would call ‘a boom box’!

Barney: why is it ticking

Courtney: :)

Badyah: no homo we’re fresh out

Norma:

Norma: Can you check the back—

Barney: Norma has these insanely strong opinions on everything. Go ahead and ask her a thing no one should have an opinion on.

Pugsly: Hey, Norma! What’s the worst multiple of 4?

Norma: 12, obviously.

Norma: So, a coworker showed me a picture of her babies and asked me what she thought.

Norma: Apparently I was supposed to say ‘Aww, they’re so cute!’

Norma: And not ‘I don’t know. I’m just not a fan of the franchise.

Norma: Do you want tea?

Barney: What’re the options?

Norma: Yes or no.

Norma: Hey, random question, what’s your favorite flower?

Badyah: Peonies. Why?

Norma:

Badyah:

Badyah: Were you going to get me flowers?

Norma: It’s a possibility