Fear Of Commitment - Tumblr Posts

the idea that i may be aromatic is probably the scariest thing ive had to ponder about my identity and sexuality.

what if i j live life leading ppl on and not being able to differentiate between platonic and romantic love?

what if every potential partner thinks im j there for s3x and all my friends think i want to sleep w them?

i though coming out as a lesbian would be the last and the worst of it, but now im not so sure.

is it weird that I can recognize my crush from voice alone?

and I mean ‘crush’ in the idealized, platonic interest who I know nothing about outside of their occupation and appearance; who I see sporadically and theorize endlessly about.

like, we’ve never talked. He’s never looked my way. I don’t know his name. I like it this way because it’s harmless and the threat of rejection is not real.

to add further details, he’s a paramedic that drops patients off at the ED I work at as a scribe. I’m not kidding when I tell you I can instantly recognize his voice on the radio when they give report while en route - out of the dozens of fire rescues that influx through the day.

It’s fucking weird. Like I will KNOW it’s him from just one word.

I didn't mean to hurt you.

I promise all I ever wanted is for you to be safe.

I'm sorry that this almost killed you.

I never ment for you to hate me.