Unrequited - Tumblr Posts
Stolen
We meet in the dark no longer like magnets but like gravity instead. Another risked embrace, lips brushed and we forget ourselves for just a moment in this unused parking lot-my hand against your chest; yours stroking the small of my back, any number of little gestures that would prove our undoing by daylight.
And we separate, peel away because it cannot last. Break the ties, and I am set adrift into the atmosphere once more.
Ventriloquism
She is admin she is my friend, she is loud and boisterous and clueless as she grabs me and prattles on about seeing my man-
My brain clicks off right there, she doesn't know she doesn't know how could she not know; her face is large and pale mask-like moving in front of me I do not hear the words coming out, my lips are numb as I find an opening-
"we broke up two months ago."
No one has ever called me soft before you.
Happy?
I never knew what love was until you.
Why did it have to be you?
FML
Oh God if only this dating app would stop suggesting my ex boyfriend.
Shock Value
You tell me you drank like you're proud of it, a little boy caught with his hand in the cookie jar;
it's none of my business, what's it to me anyway? Like you once told me, it's not like I'm stuck with you, right?
Right.
Divided Joy
There's an insidious voice in the back of my head, it hisses and spits that you only said it out of jealousy.
You see, the last time I told you I loved you, you pushed me so far away we didn't talk for almost a year. So you'll forgive me, my lover, if I'm a little bit gun shy.
Black Jack
The world around me comes in pairs, two by two by two like Noah's ark on parade and tonight-
our triangle is a line because this moment is for you and her; there's no room for me in your marriage tonight.
All Aboard The Ativan
I don't ask about him any more; though there are fleeting temptations. I don't look for his truck at the bar or duck my head when I walk into the store. Some nights I stay in again, do laundry, pay my bills.
I am learning to live in the sound of an empty house again and not be scared by my own heartbeat.
V is for Vanities (and Vendettas)
Last night I made you say "Oh my God"
Tonight the you have not spoken to me at all
Where Lies Come Home to Roost
Dreams are deceptive, he lays behind me and I twist my head back to ask what this is, but dreams are mealy mouthed spewing whatever I want to hear, and he kisses a tender peck on my lips and says can we just let it be this for right now? Because dreams are the most chameleon of liars, when I wake to an empty bed overflowing with unprocessed emotions.
Dreams are deceptive, while the reality is watching him cross a cold parking lot and knowing that even if he did see me, he's wishing he hadn't.
If You're Gonna be Petty
He got fat by the way.
Metamorphosis
Tear me from limb to limb through skin and bone
to find yourself and come out renewed on the other side
while I wait for you.
I will wait for you.
Wednesday 1339
I dreamed of you last night, I've no idea if it meant anything at all; but for a brief space of firing synapses we were happy.
Today you have not contacted me at all.
Sunday 0001
To put a name on it, he is a what might have been, and now my childhood friend starts lingering at the edges of my mind, a dangerous habit as I've a tendency to fall for fantasies.
What might have been. I'll always wonder how it could have gone.
Sunday 1120
I dreamed of you last night, dreamed that you were ready to leave her and come to me.
Dear God, my dreams are cruel.
It's always her for you;
and always you for me.
Found Out About You
It's almost been a year and I should have moved on by now I know but my chest is a graveyard of undead feelings that rise at the most inconvenient of times.
My right flank itches with the irritability of a healing tattoo and my mind is harder in ways I never dreamed and my house is torn asunder yet still I smile, I laugh, brittle sharp and jagged as always and tomorrow-
Tomorrow...
Tomorrow I will see him. For the first time, in almost a year.