Forgetfulness - Tumblr Posts
Birthday Presents
When I go out of my way to find the perfect gift before their birthday, I instantly forget the date after finally picking out the right one.
we all know adhd leads to forgetfulness, but here's some especially insidious ways that this wears on me:
i forget about things that i'm looking forward to, like games, events, or days off – so my future looks bleak, boring, distant, and joyless, as though every day is just going to be another day of Work and Not Much Else.
i forget about my own burnout and how little energy i have – then i push myself too hard and collapse almost instantly, over and over again. then i guilt myself about being so tired all the time!
i forget about my own accomplishments, no matter how big or small – leading to a strong sense of imposter syndrome and even worthlessness. digital projects hidden in folders away from sight, physical works fading into background noise on a shelf somewhere…
i even forget my own emotional state, and the events that lead up to it – meaning i usually end up internalizing all my feelings, bottling them away for years without ever acknowledging or processing them, simply because i forgot they were there!
my world consists entirely of what's in front of me right now, and what's on my mind right now. even then, i don't even have my whole present, much less any of my past or future.
i'm just doing my best with what i have, in the moment.
i have what i call 'fuzzy' memory. outside of the typical, viewed-from-another-pov issue, i mean.....
say i talked on the phone with a friend twice one day. i did yesterday.
i may forget that we talked multiple times, and lump the phone calls into one long event.
i may mistake that it was two phone calls in one day, and think it was one phone call, and two separate days.
i will definitely forget a lot of what we talked about..... but that's normal for any long phone call, right? hahaha.
i may forget what i did between the phone calls, like what i ate for dinner..... (but i usually remember at some point what i ate, even if it takes a little bit).
i don't have the worst memory, i just get confused.
how do I just forget that I'm attracted to all the genders so often like brain we talked about this, stop ignoring that you do, in fact, experience attraction
I definitely had something to say but I also definitely forgot it
hmm. no wonder I kept forgetting (aroace)
how do I just forget that I'm attracted to all the genders so often like brain we talked about this, stop ignoring that you do, in fact, experience attraction
One day I'll stop re-starting my blog whenever I forget a password.... BUT OBVIOUSLY NOT TODAY
They itch and hurt,
After everything I have tried to bury them,
they keep coming back up,
Crawling, scraping against my mind
they find a way to torment me every single time
Let them die, just like the one I shared them with.