Hilarious Posts - Tumblr Posts
when having difficult conversations over text i believe in a method called "the sandwich approach" it's where you send one meme, then six emotionally vulnerable texts, then another meme and "lmao" as a garnish
just tried to say “you’re welcome” and “no problem” at the same time and it came out as “your problem”
*does a gay little experiment that challenges god*
i gonna be blunt with you mr. car salesman, i don’t care how fast this car goes, or how many horse souls you trapped in the engine, i only care about the horn. now please stop talking so i can hear this bad boy beep.
no, sir, i will not elaborate
because i have no idea what i just said
who needs therapy when you can gaslight yourself into thinking everything is fine
“i could fix him“ “i could make him worse“ but why????? why all this diy???? stop interfering, he’s my psychology case study for my thesis and i just wanna stand over his shoulder and see what he can fuck up
if you put a cake under a box propped up by a stick tied to a string i will still go for the cake without hesitation. i’m aware i’m going to get trapped it’s just nice to feel wanted sometimes.
i’m thrilled to announce that i am giving up!
so excited to see where this new decision is going to take me!!!
wearing big shirts is amazing cuz if someone wanted to stab me they wouldn’t even know where i am in here
isn’t taking a break from work and napping just the human version of rebooting
like if you can’t get it done, have you tried turning yourself on and off?
it’s always “i kin this” and “i kin that” have you ever kinsidered therapy
you’re in his dms i’m on his nerves
i’m pissing him off i’m ruining his day
we are not the same
hell yeah i wanna get laid
into my fucking GRAVE
me, arriving at chernobyl: hmmmm don’t like the vibes here
oh you don’t wanna respect people’s pronouns?
well your pronouns are gonna be was/were if you keep this shit up
i am not the same person i was 17 and a half minutes ago
i am now slightly worse
what, and i cannot stress this enough, the Fuck
if you’re bored you can simply close your eyes and rotate and cow in your mind
it’s 100% free and the cops can’t stop you