Incorrect Lotr Quotes - Tumblr Posts
Noooooo not pippin
POLICE : you're under arrest for trying to carry three people on a single motorcycle
MERRY, with Sam and Frodo behind him : wait, what do you mean three?
POLICE : yes, three.
FRODO : oh..
POLICE : wha—?
FRODO : pippin FELL OFF!
I feel like Elrond growing up with a guy that lost his hand and also being a healer would do his very damn best to make Rivendel accessible to disabled people no matter what they're disability is.
Like imagine!
Wheelchair user(or anyone that struggles with stairs)
Elrond after helping them up the stairs: so stairs aren't a thing you can do?
Person: sadly no, I'm sorry for the inconvenience.
Elrond with loving dad vocie: No! No No! Do not apologize for being who you are! You are not an inconvenience! Tell me what else can be done to help?
Person: ramps would be a great help. Oh! And I know that one of my friends has a hard time with cabinets and doorknobs!
Elrond with a million ideas to make life easier: yes yes of course! If you think of anything else you must tell me! Have a good evening dear.
Later
Elrond bursting into Lindir's office with a stack of papers and ideas: Lindir! Get the architect! Rivendel is getting a makeover!
No fuss! No making disabled people feel guilty or weak! They just start noticing subtle differences! All doorknobs are now accessible, ramps that weren't there before just subtle changes to make their life easier and more comfortable.
Eomer: I don’t think we can mansplain, manipulate or malewife out of this situation Eowyn: Manslaughter it is
I’m not sure why… but I can’t imagine Aragorn swearing.
Like, Gimli? Yes. Legolas? Also yes. Gandalf and like half of the Hobbits? Yup. Maybe Boromir too.
But not Aragorn.
Gimli: As my good friend Aragorn once said… Gimli: Get fucked. Aragorn: I have never once said that, Gimli.
Thranduil: I didn't fail.
When all else fails...
Aragorn: keep fighting
Gandalf: all of you are fOols
Pippin: set something on fire!
Denethor: set yourself on fire and jump off a tower
Merry: start running
Frodo: sleep
Eowyn: death
Sam: use a frying pan
Faramir: failure is not an option
Bilbo: Did you read the instructions?
Legolas: what?
Gimli: it's the elves' fault
Elrond: I'm not going to say I told you so, but I told you so.
Frodo: I don't mind being associated with Brandybucks.
Merry: Well, we mind being associated with you.
Aragorn: Arwen and I just broke up.
Gandalf: Do you know what would help you?
Gandalf: A road trip.
Frodo: A lot has changed since I inherited Bag End instead of the Sackville-Bagginses.
Sam: Like what?
Frodo: My locks.
Frodo, looking at a map: It’s a barren, featureless wasteland out there, isn’t it?
Sam: Other side, Frodo
Legolas: This is Gimli.
Legolas: He's my friend!
Legolas: From work!
Boromir: Can you keep a secret?
Legolas: Do you know anything about my life?
Boromir: No I do not.Good point.
legolas: the moon controls the tides and the human psyche. wolves know that, that's why they howl at her. it's a tribute
therapist: let’s talk about your father
legolas: no
Gandalf: Bilbo, where did you get that ring?
Bilbo: -- I found it?
Gandalf: That answer strikes me as vague and unconvincing.
Yes because that’s exactly how Sam would react. Frodo’s slanders be careful
Sam: Merry, you can’t get everyone to like you. You’re not Frodo.
Merry: Not everyone likes Frodo either
Sam:
Merry:
Sam: I want names. Give me names.
Kid Aragorn, running around Rivendell:
Elrond: Let me see what you have there :)
Aragorn: A KNIFE
Elrond, running after him: NO!!
Thranduil: Am I dramatic?? Thranduil: Yes. Thranduil: But is it justified?? Thranduil: Also yes.
If you dont know how to make a decision just ask yourself "what would Gandalf do?" ...he just follows his nose, disappears for days and he beats old men with his stick... So do what Gandalf does
Wait my Lady:
Stop Bitch:
(i just think that could happen on some point)
Life would be better if i could just live in middle earth
One of my favorite quotes from OUAT 🔥🖤🤣
“Shall I get you a step stool so you can look me in my eyes when you threaten me?”
Thranduil, to Thorin Oakenshield