Incorrect Quote Generator - Tumblr Posts

y/n (brainstorming ideas for pranking Theo): How much could a serial killer mask possibly cost? draco: Well it’s hard to find a high-quality one made out of leather or silicone, but if you did find a good one like that it’d be a couple thousands of dollars. I can try to hook you up with one but I don’t know if I’d be very successful. y/n: Huh, that’s pretty interesting actually- Wait, how the hell do you know that? draco: …I am very passionate about Halloween, y/n.

Incorrect Octonauts quotes

CW: Swearing, brief mentions of drugs

Professor Inkling: "Ignorance more frequently begets confidence than does knowledge" - Charles Darwin Kwazii : What the fuck? Begets isn't a word. Quit trying to make up words, fuckface.

Kwazii : The risk I took was calculated but, man, am I bad at math.

Kwazii, explaining why he is not allowed to cook: I put the noodles in the pot and put the pot on the stove and turned the burner on high. Turns out you don't put noodles in marijuana and I almost burnt the whole house down.

Kwazii: Hey, Shellington you're smart, tell me what would happen if I chugged 3 gallons of chloroform. Shellington: Have you ever been to a mortuary? Kwazii: Yea, my parents live there. Tweak: That is the worst response to that question.

Captain Barnacles: Kwazii, I think we have a problem. Kwazii: What, the fire? Captain Barnacles: No, the- wait, what fire? Kwazii: Oh forget about it, this sounds more interesting.

Dashi: If I say yes am I joining a cult? Tweak: Possibly. Dashi: I’m in.

Dashi: I fell— Tweak: From heaven? Dashi: No, I literally fell— Tweak: In love with me the moment you saw me? Dashi: MY ARM IS BROKEN! Tweak: Okay, but do you think I'm pretty? Be honest.

Tweak: You are the love of my life and I would do anything within reason to make you happy. Dashi: I would be happy if you ate, stayed hydrated and got a reasonable amount of sleep. Tweak: I said within reason, Dashi. How about I murder that guy? Dashi: So murder is in reason but proper self care isn't? Tweak: Well, duh. What kind of question is that?

Kwazii: Working sucks. Kwazii: I want to be a malewife where my only responsibilities are being sexy and cute.

Captain Barnacles: Whatever happened to the concept of less is more? Kwazii: But if less is more, then just think of how much more 'more' will be!

Captain Barnacles: I personally don't think it's possible to come up with a crazier plan. Kwazii: We could attack them with hummus. Captain Barnacles: I stand corrected. Kwazii: Just keeping things in perspective.

Incorrect Quotes 2 (Ft. Bub & Akaashi)

Bub: I don't need to go to bed.I'm not tired,I'll be fine. Akaashi: But darling,I'll be so lonely without you.Come curl up in my arms so I can feel whole again. Bub: O-oh.Well.Are you trying to seduce me into healthy sleeping patterns?? Akaashi: Is it working?

Well, at least he's being honest-

I based this little comic off of this piece of goodness off the incorrect quote generator-

Nightmare: Just trust me. Have I ever put you in an unsafe or uncomfortable situation?

Dream: All the time.

Nightmare: Then you should be used to it by now.

Percy: How petty can you get?


Annabeth: I once edited a Wikipedia article to win an argument I was wrong about.

Leo: Bad things keep happening to me, like I have bad luck or something.


Piper: Leo, you don't have bad luck. The reason bad things happen to you is because you're a dumbass.

Annabeth: This is such a bad idea.


Percy: Then why are you coming along?


Annabeth: One of us need to be able to talk the cops out of arresting us when this inevitably goes wrong.

Annabeth, talking to Percy on the phone: Did you preheat the oven like I told you to?


Percy: You bet!


Annabeth: At what temperature?


Percy: 535.


Annabeth: That's the clock.


Percy:


Annabeth:


Percy: 536.

Percy: Am I in trouble?


Annabeth: Take a guess.


Percy: No?


Annabeth: Take another guess.

Annabeth: I know you’re deflecting by making jokes about how hot you are.


Leo: It’s not a joke.


Leo: *sniffles*


Leo: I’m a legit snack

Sougo: I came out here to attack people and I’m honestly having such a good time right now. 

Gintoki: Sometimes, I don’t realize an event was traumatic until I tell it as a funny story and notice everyone is staring at me weird. 

Gintoki on Monday: *glues a dime to the sidewalk* Heh heh heh

Gintoki on Wednesday: *walking down the street* Ooh hey, a dime!

Gintoki: I think my guardian angel drinks.

Yuuji: *pitches an idea*

Nobara, impressed: Huh, there might be something there! 

Megumi, under his breath: Yeah, a lawsuit.

Itadori: I made this friendship bracelet for you. 

Fushiguro: You know, I’m not really a jewelry person.

Itadori: You don’t have to wear-

Fushiguro: No, I’m gonna wear it forever. Back off. 

Fushiguro: WHOEVER CAUSED THIS MESS IS GOING TO-

Itadori: It was me...

Fushiguro: ...Is going to be forgiven because everyone deserves a second chance. 

Nobara: If karma doesn’t hit you, I fucking will. 

Itadori: If you water water, it grows. 

Fushiguro: ...What. 

Kugisaki: He’s got a point. 

Hijikata: Is anyone going to tell me what’s going on in here?!

Kondo: It’s kind of complicated, but Sougo-

Hijikata: Got it. Forget I asked.