IT IS - Tumblr Posts
So I Started reading Dante's Divine comedy, and this is how I feel reading it
Friendly reminder: Be kind to yourself.
(If that seems like a lot or too much maybe just try a little kindness at first. Like say one good thing about yourself even if you don’t believe it right now.)
Finding out that somebody online is also from Aotearoa is a terrifying experience, because we're all only two degrees of separation away from each other in this fuckin country and that is far too high of a probability of a random person on the internet who sees me posting fanfiction knowing my parents irl.
Home Soon - Sirius Oswald x Sophia Olympia [Cradlesona]
see soph's profile || see marcus's profile
Genre: Angst, fluff cliffhanger(?)
Notes: Heavily inspired by many Hamilton songs. This was a thank you gift for @plumpblueberry for providing me xi's specialty teat cookies on discord but now we're going in an angst revolution òwó
Warnings: Implied character death
Disclaimer: this was set in a different timeline from the canon, where Soph and Sirius were married before the war.
✧༝┉┉┉˚*❋ ❋ ❋*˚┉┉┉༝✧
Cradle was victorious.
Both the Red and Black Armies had fought long and hard against the Magic Tower, soldiers were marching home and people were flooding the streets once more.
Still feeling elated at the success of the coordination of the Jack of Hearts and her husband's strategy, she hummed the tune of their wedding song happily as she worked.
He should be home soon.
The door opened abruptly, "Lady Sophia, you have a letter." Marcus waves the letter between his fingers, trying to catch her attention.
"If its from my husband, please leave it on the table. I'll check it later."
"No, its from his underling."
And the letter said:
"Minutes before the Kings had declared the country's victory, our Lieutenant General, the Queen of Spades, was killed in a gunfight. The Queen had sacrificed himself to save a young soldier from the last wave of attacks.
"However, from fear and shock, the medics and soldiers retreated immediately due to sudden increase in casualties. It has been days since his remains were found and is now assumed to be gone, eaten by the wild animals in the forest.
"Mr. Oswald was known to be the best strategist in our proud army, and the beloved husband of Lady Sophia Oswald, who was also one of the Chosen Thirteen. He was also going to be the father of their first child.
"Our deepest condolences to you and your family. May his soul soar free on raven wings."
There was a pause.
"Lady Sophia? Are you alright?" Marcus asked quietly, unsure whether it was the right thing to ask or the right time to. His chest tightens at the sight of her tear-glossed eyes and sudden immobile state.
And a long, long pause.
"I have work to do."
The widow had temporarily taken over as the Queen, handing her previous position to Marcus, who redeemed his credibility and trust in the army before the war against the Magic Tower. The gold band on her finger sparkled underneath the glow of the lights in the office, taking the attention of anyone looking her way from her dull, swollen eyes.
When the last of the treaty was finalized, she neatly tucked the papers in an envelope. She sealed it with an azure wax seal, then imprinted the insignia of the Black Army against it. She slid the paper to one side and picked up another piece of blank paper.
And she wrote:
"If we were meant to be, you'd be with me, through thick or thin, in sickness and in health, for poorer or for richer, 'til death do us part; we vowed.
"But was it death that took you away or was it the cruel fate that had cursed me from my happiness for years?
"The idiotic act of my men had me enraged for weeks, but I no longer had the time as I needed to focus on my new work.
"Time.
"What would you do if you had more time?
"Perhaps we could be downstairs right now at the dining hall, celebrating our victory and freedom. Or maybe alone in your bedroom, feeling each other's love and warmth after weeks of separation. Or we could be in mine, telling you of the surprise I've been hinting for days. Or you could finally be with your childhood friends again, your dreams and goals achieved.
"You didn't have to sacrifice yourself, my love. But was there really no other way? I knew you'd fight until the war was won, but you deserved a chance to meet your son.
"May you guide us from wherever you are.
"I love you. Forever and always."
She sealed the letter with a purple wax seal, imprinted the family insignia she's made, in tradition to her maiden family's.
Once the seals were dry, she carefully stood from her seat, scooting her chair farther from the usual, to give space to her growing belly. She instructed a soldier to hand the azure sealed letter to the King of Hearts, while she placed the other against her chest.
The air was cold down the otherwise quiet hallway if the cheerful sounds from the dining hall was ignored. His room was off limits for now, not even his wife can come in. Soph dropped the letter to the ground and gently slipped it underneath the crack of his door.
There were many letters on the floor on the other side, sealed and unread, perhaps, forever. All of it was from her.
Every day she wrote a letter. No receiver, no sender. Just a family seal and her thoughts and feelings in ink.
When dawn arrived, her feet was as cold as the sand between her toes. The salty sea breeze whipped her hair back and made her dress and coat flutter. Cold, but unbothered, she sat at the makeshift bench as a picture show began in her eyes.
"Is this how it'll be for the rest of my life?"
For the past few weeks, Soph had been walking along the shoreline when dawn breaks — like when Sirius was still with her. They would watch the sun rise together, making the most out of the beautiful scenery in each other's arms; a relaxing moment just before work. And now, despite the first rays of sunlight had reached her, she felt like a shell; hollow, cold and abandoned.
But in every sunrise, hope renews itself.
"We agreed our first son's name should be Jonquil, right?" A warm baritone speaks from behind her, sparking life quickly inside the husk like a match being lit.
Somewhere, a king and a wizard nodded silently, before going their separate ways with the faintest smiles on their faces.
He's finally home.
Man I'm making a whole tag list for y'alls (my moots)
here's it so far
@clowneryandshenanegans, @that1insomniac, @personwholikespmtok, @moonisagremlin, @impresively-large-swan, @pstlart, @cheesenjoyer, @cosmowosmo, @unknowncaz, @casualmrboyenjoyer, @thicc-ass-frog, @subconscious-deactivated20230229, @the-arcade-doctor, @quinnistired, @rat-detector, @theofficialratboy, @queeniesretrozone, @that-bored-aroace, @birchythesun, @thee0ne-whos-bored, @dusty-pistol, @gunk404, @ifoundthishumerus, @4kitter, @rainbow-oppossum, @cactus-with-boobs, @mikubinderthomasjefferson, @totally-italy, @axolotl-detector, @cinammonelles, @minun61real, @the-silly-words-on-your-screen, @revocalized, @abnormal-tulip, @anomymous,
(Sorry)
if you wanna be removed, tell me please!
At least Nick has the whole blanket for himself I guess.
Sonic Frontiers is good...
I wanna do something nice.. say something you appreciate about the person you reblogged this from!! even if it's smth as small as their profile photo :)
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I haven't posted anything for over a month, oh god, I'm so pathetic
it's a spoiler (everymanhybrid x black christmas)
I think I finally found biblically accurate Lasko and Dear
It’s so them I’m going to start screeching
Untitled and Unnamed
I turn in another half done assignment, not bothering to check if my name is even on it. I might get a better grade if it’s marked missing anyways. I just can’t seem to hold onto my focus. It seems to slip out from between my fingers, and the harder I try to hold onto it, the harder it is to grasp. But there isn’t anything that I can really do about it, so I make do. Guilt and I have a very close relationship. It seems to be all I’m feeling these days. Didn’t do this assignment, didn’t do that assignment. I hardly leave my room anymore, I just wallow in my own whirlwind of thoughts and ideas that never come into focus, like a bad camera.
Everything used to come so easily to me, my attention unwavering during lessons, answers practically being whispered to me with how clear they are in my mind. I don’t know what happened. I feel like something has snapped in my brain, and now it’s like the chain fell off my bike. I pedal all I want, but I don’t make it anywhere. All I do is burn time and energy, and I gain nothing but confusion and guilt. All I feel like is that I’m getting dumber and dumber by the day, even the things that came so easily to me before are just out of my reach.
My mom says it’s just because high school is harder, but I don’t believe her. It’s the same stuff, English, history, math. It’s not that it’s harder here, it’s that I’m worse than I was. That was my limit, and it’s all downhill from here. I don't want to think that I peaked in middle school, but that’s what happened. My partner tells me that it’s not my fault, and that it’s something in my brain, but I don’t believe them. Obviously there’s something wrong with me, but blaming my incompetence on anything but myself is absurd.
Now I’m laying in my bed, staring at the ceiling, knowing that I have at least three projects that are due by the end of this week, two of which I haven’t even started yet. But it’ll be fine. They’ll get done, probably around the same time that I’m supposed to be sleeping. But four hours a night hasn’t caught up with me yet, so I can’t imagine that will change this week. I try to piece together a thought, but it just doesn’t work. It’s like my brain is full of cotton balls, and I’m struggling blindly to find the different pieces of the puzzle. I get up, and walk past the assignments I need to complete. Maybe there’s something I have to clean.
My room goes from pigsty to pristine, entirely depending on how much my mind needs to run away from the work I have to be doing. I write half of an English paper. Then delete it. I can’t turn that in. So I sit, and stare at the wall, or the floor, or the spider slowly building a web in the corner of my room. Anything but the work that makes me shake with stress. I mean, who actually cares about The Catcher in the Rye. I definitely don’t, which is why I’m using summaries and articles to tell me about the book instead of reading it. I can’t sit down and read something anymore. I used to love to read.
I feel like my identity, everything that set me apart from everyone else, that made me unique, is gone, and that I’m just blending in with everyone else again. What was my personality? Who am I? Does anyone know? I feel like I’ve lost myself, and I can’t find the person that I am supposed to be. Maybe they died in eighth grade.
Unanswered texts fill my phone notifications. I swipe them away. I don’t have the energy to talk today. 2 hours later, I pull myself from my bed, and deep clean my room for 4 hours. I don’t have the energy to do work, I tell myself as I do every chore, every task in my house. Other than the things that need to be done. I’m being so productive, getting nothing done. I’m so tired of this. I lay in my bed, midnight now, and I don’t sleep. How could I, with how many things are stuck in my head that I can’t seem to get out. I’ll do that English paper, and all three of those projects tomorrow. I’m sure I’ll have more energy tomorrow.
Question, if Billford is the Toxic Yaoi Couple, who is the Toxic Yuri Couple?
are u ready
