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pspspsps come read my first tlou fanfic
Marvel Humor Fics
As much as I love angst, I also love to laugh at some of the predicaments my poor blorbos get into! So here are some of my favourite humor fics from the Marvel fandom.
He's a Real... Bare... Devil? by 94BottlesOfSnapple (772)
The real problem with no longer wearing body armor, Matt considers, is not actually the higher risk of injury. It’s that sometimes even when you don’t get hurt, you still end up mostly-naked in an alley that smells like day-old Chinese takeout.
Daredevil manages to lose his clothes while on patrol with the Defenders. They only make fun of him a little.
Footie Pajamas by Triscribe (1.1k)
*What?* Tony demanded. *What is it, what’s wr-*
“Ohmygosh, Mister Stark! It’s too cute!” Peter beamed from ear to ear. “There’s a little girl in the car next to me wearing Spider-man footie pajamas!”
Silence reigned for a long moment, before Tony burst out laughing.
How (Not) to Meet New People by aloneintherain (1.4k)
“Why is there a teenager in our office?”
Foggy stood in the threshold of the office, mouth slightly agape, most likely wondering if he’d walked into the wrong building. The kid waved at him, smile huge under a blooming black eye and spilt lip.
“Foggy,” Matt said, far too calm for someone who was in the presence of a beaten, bloodied, teenage stranger. “This is Peter.”
oh, jesus, not the both of you! by FRAMEW0RK (1.6k)
He’s gonna pass out.
Yup, it’s happening. Foggy can only tell because he’s passed out before, when he was twelve, after he got his finger smashed in the large metal door of their cooler. The intense pain first. Then the cold flash, then the sweating, and then the spots surrounding the corners of his vision. All of that was going on. In the middle of a courtroom. Surrounded by tons of watching people.
“Mr. Nelson?” the Judge calls out. He probably looks awful. His mother told him that he went deathly pale before he passed out the first time. Didn’t she take a video? He remembers there being a video. Is the room spinning or is that just him?
“I think ’m passing out,” Foggy mumbles thickly, hand flailing out for purchase but getting nothing on his fingers. The world was starting to go underwater. Someone yelled, and then there’s this gasping sound all around and then there’s darkness and nothing.
Team Red by SalazarTipton (1.9k)
“Ned, for the last time, I’m not going as any of the Avengers! Can you imagine what would happen if they found out? They’d think I had a favorite and--” “But you do have a favorite,” Ned interjects. Peter throws one of his fries at him. “That’s not the point! They don’t know that and can I remind you that you’re forbidden to talk about that? Going to the Tower would be hellish. Can you imagine Mr. Barton and Mr. Stark trying to prove they’re the better choice?”.
when the pretty birds have flown (honey, I'm still free) by the_crown_jules (2.1k)
“I can talk to birds,” Sam said, a little more loudly than the situation warranted.
Bucky's lips twitched, a battle playing out between his attempt to take Sam seriously and his clear desire to snicker. Laughter won out, lighting up his face in a way that was becoming more and more familiar.
“You’re such an asshole. Okay, Torres, I assume you’re listening, you can go now, you’ve had your fun.” He looked around as if he’d be able to spot Torres watching them on camera. “What is this, Falcon initiation?”
New Year's Regrets by whumphoarder (2.5k)
In the midst of hosting his annual New Year’s party, Tony is called away to rescue a very impaired Peter from a rooftop in Queens.
Happy Hibernation Day by for_the_night (2.7k)
Tony and Pepper return to the tower on Valentine’s Day to find Peter asleep on the couch. Only he won’t wake up.
Good job neither pseudo-parent panics.
throw all your lucky coins on me by keep_swinging (3.2k)
i. shock (denial) ii. pain (guilt) iii. anger (bargaining) iv. depression v. the upward turn vi. working through vii. acceptance (hope)
Sorta Kinda Kidnapped by happyaspie (3.5k)
Peter gets kidnapped on his way to school. It's fine, though. He's perfectly capable of saving himself. It happens so fast and it's so uneventful that he forgets to tell Tony it even happened. Until the kidnappers call to collect their ransom.
Not Completely the Worst by mainstreamelectricalparade (4k)
Peter's spidey-sense had been going off all day. If he had to stay at school for literally another minute longer, he was probably going to go insane.
And of course, there was one person at school whose single goal in life seemed to be ensuring that that happened.
“Yo, Penis! Where are you off to in such a hurry?” Flash called after Peter as he took the steps three at a time in his attempt to make a quick getaway.
Peter squeezed his eyes shut in exasperation and kept walking. Maybe if he ignored the problem, it would go away.
Because that had always worked so well for him, in the past.
Don’t Judge a Knife by Its Color by blondsak and Grace_d and whumphoarder (4.4k)
“Whoa, hold up, hang on,” he says, taking a step closer to get a better look. The blade is probably four inches long and neon purple, while the handle is white with a friendly-looking colorful silicon grip. “Is that a toy knife? Is this a Fisher Price mugging?”
“Fuck you, Spidey,” the mugger replies, fumbling for the knife before scrambling back to his feet and brandishing the weapon at Peter.
Or, Peter is stabbed by a misleading knife, Tony plays a high stakes game of Operation, and May retains the one brain cell.
Dollicia Elizabeth Cowleen the Third by Spideypool_supremacy (4.6k)
Peter frowned. "Why do you have such an obsession with that cow?"
"Getting jealous, Pumpkin?"
Peter looked at him, unimpressed. "Oh no. A cow is stealing all your affection. Whatever will I do." He said sarcastically.
Wade grinned. "Don't worry, Petey. I love you both the same."
"That's actually insulting."
quaranteens by blueh (6.6k)
“Peter Parker,” Cindy says. Peter’s head snaps up so fast that it almost looks inhuman. “Did Tony Stark just waltz in and pick up his child in the background of your Zoom call?”
Peter freezes. Wide-eyed, with ‘guilty’ written on his forehead in 72, bold, Times New Roman font. It takes a solid thirty seconds before he can put himself together enough to click the unmute button.
“I—no?” Peter says. His voice is startlingly high pitched and his expression is nothing short of horrified.
Damn, if that isn’t anything but a confession.
The Glass of Sand and Fog [Fan Comic] by neonbrutalism (7k)
"To be honest, I think time is scary enough without a giant axe clock." "What, worried about getting old? Daredeviling getting hard on your knees?" "No, no... It's hard to explain."
Another day, another villain, another kidnapping. Foggy gets kidnapped, Matt avoids awkward conversations, they both suffer from an inability to talk about their feelings and Kirsten is no help at all!
Learning To Say Hello by heartsdesire456 (11k)
Clint had woken up one morning about three weeks ago (Well, Clint guessed about three. Definitely more than one. Maybe.) and stumbled down to the living room only to realize there was a guy on his couch. The guy just happened to be the Winter Soldier, who Clint knew was actually Steve’s old best friend, Bucky Barnes.
Barnes had been having a staring contest with Lucky (one eye shut, to make it fair, Clint had noticed) and Clint had decided to just leave him to it and make decisions after he’d had some coffee.
(In which Hawkeye befriends the Winter Soldier and discovers the Epic Love Story of Steve and Bucky nobody knows about)
but what is a hero, really? by mjscorner (17k)
"Flash," Peter pleaded breathlessly, "you don't want to do this, okay? They're armed. Trust me, you don't understand."
"No, I think I do understand," Flash scoffed, unsurprised. "You've been a loser your whole entire life, but everyone here still adores you. Well, I'm done dealing with that, okay? Time for me to be a hero."
Peter's heart sank as Flash bumped into his shoulder and marched forward.
He stopped before rounding the corner when the faint sound of a gun being cocked echoed throughout the hall, freezing Flash right in his place. Peter turned on his heel in an instant, standing beside Flash protectively.
"But-but what is a hero, really?" Flash croaked with a nervous smile, side-eyeing the weapon suspended beside him as it softly nudged the side of his skull.
Peter slowly raised his hands in surrender, staring at Flash until he did the same, dropping the cans of pepper spray and the walkie talkies.
"We are so, so, so monumentally screwed."
Let Me Know if It Gets Above a Six by Sundial_at_Night (65k)
“Mr. Loki?” asked the Spider cautiously. “Aren’t you—like—a bad guy?” he asked, voice full of only curiosity, as far as Loki could tell.
His first thought was, yes.
His second thought was no.
His third thought was, sometimes?
“It varies from moment to moment,” Loki answered honestly, prying his eyes open after they threatened to fall close.
“But on a scale of one to ten, where are you at right now?”
“Maybe a three?”
The Spider-child nodded. “Cool,” he replied. “Let me know if it gets above a six.
The Devil's Hangin' 'Round My Doorstep by 94BottlesOfSnapple (96k)
There’s a lot of things Matt Murdock doesn’t allow himself. His best friend is one of them. But put on a mask and suddenly everything seems so freely available, Foggy included. On the other side of the coin, Foggy’s still trying to stifle his big bisexual crush on his best friend and has no idea what to think of the vigilante who’s suddenly and inexplicably taken an interest in him.
it's always who is spider-man, never how is spider-man by i_regret_thatpersonalityquiz (176k)
"Stay?"
Peter finally looked down to see Harley Fucking Keener, Iron Lad, the boy who had caused his shoulder to be throbbing all night, looking away with a slight tint to his cheeks. Peter opened and closed his mouth, no sound coming out.
And he sat back down.
OR: Peter had been living on the streets, dealing with your average homeless vigilante stuff. Things got a bit more complicated when the Avengers started to chase him down.
I hope you enjoy these!! I'll have to make a part two at some point because there's so many brilliant fics to share. Thank you to all the fabulous writers who shared these fics with us, and happy reading!
Marvel Humour Pt2
Hello everyone!! We're back for round two of Marvel humor fics to brighten up your day.
You can find part one here.
Battle Plans by prettybirdy979 (1.8k)
They say never piss off the nurses because they're the ones who actually run the hospital. They can make your life a misery if you do.
Shirley Benson has never had to instruct her nurses to use this power en-mass before but to protect the identity of Daredevil, protector of the innocent and destroyer of the wicked? She'll happily make the police regret ever setting foot in her hospital.
Leap Before You Look by 94BottlesOfSnapple (2.1k)
Or, 5 times Matt Murdock jumped out a window to avoid his feelings (including horrible embarrassment), and 1 time he couldn't.
Double Blind by smilebackwards (2.3k)
Matt comes to, flat on his back, with Iron Man and Hawkeye hovering over him. “Oh fuck,” Stark says, less than comfortingly.
Double-D in Your A-P-P by 94BottlesOfSnapple (2.4k)
Foggy is legally obligated by the laws of friendship to download any and all mobile games starring Daredevil.
Unfortunately, that means eventually he has to explain to Matt why he's got a superhero dating sim app on his phone.
Say You Don't Know Me (or Recognize My Face) by ShowMeAHero (2.9k)
Daredevil is kind of dark and broody. He doesn't want anyone to know his real name, he never smiles, and he has kind of a loner attitude.
Matt Murdock, on the other hand, is completely unrecognizable to Jessica the first time she really sees him.
Repeat After Me by battybatzgirl (3.8k)
Tony’s face hardens as he says, “What kid.”
“I don’t know, some twelve year old—”
Below him, the kid coughs out, “Fifteen.”
“—Fifteen year old—”
Tony scrubs a hand across his face. “Don’t tell me he’s wearing a dorky shirt with a chemistry pun on it.”
Rhodey frowns. That was oddly specific. Glancing down, he looks at what little he can see of the kid’s shirt—which isn't much since there’s so much blood now, but what could be once called a cartoon joke is printed on it. “Um, yeah?”
“Son of a bitch.”
Hieroglyphics (or you are under arrest for being attractive & ruining my life) by The_Readers_Muse (4.4k)
As far as randomly acquired superhero powers go, he is going to admit right now that his are kind of lame. Okay, lots lame. Sort of. But considering Matt is a complete and utter dingus with about the same self-preservation instincts as a mosquito flying full tilt into a bug zapper, he figures an extra edge - as fucking weird and annoying as it is – is probably worth the headache.
in an empty moral space by blueh (5.4k)
“Bring Spider-Man to us, Mr. Stark,” High-heels says and rattles off an address. “If that bug isn’t here in the next twenty four hours, then your intern gets it. We are not going to ask a second time.”
There’s a pause.
Then, “You want Spider-Man?”
“In exchange for your intern,” High-heels affirms.
“Spider-Man,” Mr. Stark repeats. He sounds more amused than worried for Peter’s apparent safety.
also known as: Peter Parker is held hostage…in order to get to Spider-Man. Throw in some Accords reconciliation and, well, Peter’s life just got a whole lot weirder.
This is the worst timeline by Hittinmiss (6.6k)
Chair Dude: I have some good news and some bad news
Chair Dude: good news is you didn't miss any training for decathlon
Chair Dude: bad news is that they decided the field trip without you ://
Man of Spiders: why is it bad news??
Chair Dude: because Flash decided to pick the compound and no one said no so…
Man of Spiders: Dude why didn't you say no???
Chair Dude: I would have been out voted Dude!
Chair Dude: I also wanna see the compound as well so yeet
Peter Parker's Super Secret Snack Stash by coconutknightshade (7k)
"It's D, Peter. We talked about this."
“No it’s not, Ned. Because if it were D then I would be wrong and that would put me at a 65% already on this practice exam and we haven’t even gotten through it all. I can’t fail another history exam, Ned! This last one is worth 60% of our grade! If I fail this final then I’ll fail the class and if I fail the class then I’ll be kicked out of school-”
“You’re top of our year, Peter.” You can almost hear Ned’s eye roll as he talks over Peter.
“- and if I’m kicked out of school then I’ll be forced to live on the streets exchanging sexual favors for money and I can’t do that, Ned! I wouldn’t even know what to charge- I mean, what’s the street value of a blow job, Ned? Do you know? Because I sure as shit don’t.” At this point Ned is outright giggling over Peter’s theatrics.
Five times the Avengers don't find out about Daredevil and one time they do by Nautika (7.2k)
“And then I had to help Daredevil climb out of that dumpster, freaking Daredevil, can you believe it?” Clint waved his arms around, nearly sweeping his cup off the table in Matt’s apartment.
Five Times Peter Parker Pretended to Be Asleep by blondsak (16k)
...and the one time he actually was.
Or: sometimes, faking sleep can work to your advantage. When it comes to trying to fool a certain genius, overprotective, superhero mentor, Peter finds this to be doubly true.
from your perspective, the world is flat by blueh (18k)
Peter successfully goes on a field trip, accidentally catches the school bleachers, survives a bus explosion, and reveals his identity as Spider-Man.
…not necessarily in that order, much to the confusion of his entire decathlon team.
also known as: Peter Parker and the terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day.
What I Really Need is You by happyaspie (18k)
or: Five Things Peter Needs From Tony and One Thing He Wants.
i see myself (in you) by parkrstark (28k)
“Hey, c’mon, before long we’ll be back to normal and we’ll look back at this and laugh.”
Peter just looked up at him with a slight glare as he scratched at his chin again. The itch of the facial hair was driving him crazy and Tony found it highly amusing. “You’re in the body of a 15-year-old boy. Why are you smiling?”
“You’re in the body of Tony Stark. Why aren’t you smiling?” Tony asked with a smirk.
turn back the clock (and I'll try again in the morning) by madasthesea (35k)
Peter gets stuck in a time loop. In it, he lives through some of his worst nightmares, only to wake up that morning and have no one remember. He needs Tony to help him get through.
And if that isn't bad enough, his identity is revealed over and over, every day.
Avocados and Avengers by whitchry9 (51k)
Matt meets Avengers. Avengers don't know he's blind. Things happen. Hilarity ensues. Matt gains new friends and Foggy is totally jealous.
Child's Play by SPICYJARVIS (59k)
Spiderman has been missing for one year, two months and five days.
Clint Barton happens across a homeless kid named Peter Parker.
It's a Secret to Everybody by Snapdragon_in_the_Snow (97k)
Peter gets to spend all summer living in Avengers Tower with Tony. When the Rogue Avengers get pardoned and come back to live at the Tower too, they're confused as to who Peter is. However, once they see how Tony acts around Peter, that confusion goes away, as they know for certain who Peter must be - Tony's secret son.
Tony and Peter decide to make the most of the situation, and play along. They hope they can keep up the act all summer. But they soon learn that they barely have to act at all.
And there we have it! If you have any other recommendations to share or fic recs you'd like me to find, please send me an ask or a message. And as usual, thank you to the fantastic writers for sharing their fics with us!!
would anybody be willing to beta read a tlou joel & ellie fic about them returning to jackson after joel gets stabbed that has spiralled wildly out of control because if I keep looking at the same words over and over my brain might explode 👀
Safe as Houses
Read on AO3 🏘 Buy me a coffee ☕
Summary:
Joel can't undo what happened, but he can help her heal.
When he suggests they head back to Jackson, she agrees.
The cycle repeats ten times. Her silence. His rambling. More silence, when he runs out of things to say and his stitches rub his skin raw. Encouraging her to eat food she can't even look at. Sleeping within arm's reach. Waking up a few hours later to screams caused by a nightmare she won't breathe a word about.
He doesn't tell her he's getting weaker. He blames his stumbles on invisible branches and his pained grunts on his aching knees and the snow.
He stops asking why she's so quiet, and she never mentions his side. They return to the same stilted, one-sided conversations from when they first met, their roles reversed.
When he hears the hooves five miles outside Jackson, he nearly collapses on the spot.
By some miracle, he makes it all the way to the fence before he does.
OR
Making it back to Jackson doesn't promise Joel and Ellie safety. But it does offer them one thing the open road didn't: a home.
Notes:
Hi everyone!! This fandom has absolutely taken over my brain, so when I was thinking about doing some writing practice to improve on some areas I struggle with, I figured why shouldn't I make it Joel and Ellie themed?
This fic is all the same universe, but each chapter will be sort of it's own story. There's a couple of different things I wanted to try writing, and this chapter is about switching POVs without accidentally headhopping! If there's anything you want me to include, let me know and I'll be sure to try and squeeze it in.
I hope you enjoy reading this fic as much as I enjoyed writing it!
adding my own contribution to the ao3 curse hall of fame
Christmas Fics
Merry Christmas everyone!! I hope you're all having a lovely day and a fantastic new year. Here are all the festive fics I've written in case you want some holiday reading material!
Supernatural
Wrapped in Red (7k) — Dean and Cas have to pretend to be a couple for a case at a holiday party, and he wants to experience all of the human's Christmas traditions. Including mistletoe.
Darling, So It Goes (4k) — Jody and Donna beg Dean to dress as Santa for their Christmas party. He doesn't expect to dump a litre of chocolate milk on a homophobe or meet the love of his life, but that's how the holidays go.
Marvel
the ripples they cause (111k) — post no way home, Peter fights his way to a better life... with the help of every superhero in the city (and a bit of necromancy). Chapter seven is Christmas themed!
not at home for christmas (1k) — Phil and Clint end up in a safehouse for Christmas, but they make it work.
numb fingers but warmer hearts (6k) — Kate falls into an icy pond on Christmas eve... but the Bartons won't give up on their plans for the best Christmas ever.
Grishaverse
Fairytale of Ketterdam (2k) — Kaz fights his way out of a kidnapping to stop Geels from blowing up The Wraith on the eve of Feast of Sankt Nikolai.
we'll be okay (set sail for home) (2k) — When a heist goes wrong, Kaz and Inej have to fight their way home for the holidays.
Doctor Who
hot chocolate, candy canes, and a kiss in the snow (1k) — Yaz can give up the universe, but not the Doctor.
Yaz's Guide to Christmas Cookies and Alien Invasions (9k) — when her Christmas shift in the cafe gets strange, Yaz is glad to help a blonde stranger perform a holiday miracle.
happy birthday, dean winchester <3
read on AO3 || listen to the podfic
Spideypool Fic Recs
I've recently been reading a lot of Wade/Peter fics, so I thought I'd share some of my favourites with you! Please remember to check the tags before reading <3
Lobster Biscuit by Scarlet_Ribbons (2.6k)
Peter goes on a terrible, terrible date, cashes in a favor on behalf of Spider-Man, and begs Deadpool to crash it.
Deadpool delivers.
Not One Hundred Percent by HashtagLEH (7.3k)
After being drugged at a party, Peter is lucid enough to figure out that he needs help. But who does he even know (and trust) enough that he can just pop up on their doorstep at two in the morning?
Meanwhile, Wade would just really like to know who this random college kid is that showed up at his door.
let me explain by jilliancares (8.5k)
Wade scoffs, shaking his head and elbowing Peter in the side. “Sure,” he says, sarcastic. “That’s why your spidey-sense doesn’t see me.”
Peter’s on the verge of laughing, wanting to join Wade in his amusement, but he freezes. His entire body goes still. He finds himself staring at a roof three buildings over, not even looking at anything. Two blocks away, a car alarm finally shuts off.
“I never told you that,” Peter says, the realization startling him.
Or: Peter's starting to realize just how much Wade knows about him.
Bear the Pain (as the Gods Intended) by mustehelmi (9.8k)
Five times Wade is injured and one time Peter is the injured one.
Gravitation by WillowSong (9.9k)
In a universe where Spiderman never exists, young Peter Parker makes an unlikely friend in Deadpool.
A Friendly Neighbourhood Kidnapping by Willow Writes (12k)
Peter is more than a little mad when Wade ghosts him for years, and then when he finally shows his face in New York again, it’s to kidnap Peter Parker. So he decides to have some fun with the situation and see how long it takes for Wade to recognise him.
Wade thinks he has an easy hit ahead of him and is planning on getting back in touch with his favourite Web–Slinger once the job is done. But Peter Parker seems harder to take down than his buyer let on.
what light through yonder window by hellornothing (14k)
The figure moves quickly, but Peter’s faster. He’s still adjusting to the sudden brightness, so dark red is really the only thing he takes from this initial encounter, but it’s enough.
‘Deadpool?’
aka the one where they get together via late night window visits
The 6 Times Peter Wanted To Reveal his Identity (And the 1 Time He Did) by Spongeekat (28k)
"Look, I’m just a Deadpool. I know I’m not Dr. Phil. But I couldn’t just let you make some bad decision and let the world lose one more hot piece of ass. Anyways, I live in the area and saw you standing on the ledge, and I thought I could maybe talk you down. Dying hurts, in case you were wondering. It’s not worth it.” Dying...hurts? Talk him down? Bad decision?
Oh.
“Oh.” Everything suddenly connected and the gears started turning in Peter’s brain. “No, wait, I wasn’t…” He didn’t quite know how to explain he wasn’t there to do that without completely explaining why he was up there in the first place. Any resolve he may have had earlier about revealing his superpowered persona had melted away, his plans going awry within seconds. "
Or Peter is madly in love with Wade, and plans to meet him on top of his apartment building to reveal his identity. Wade thinks Peter is standing on the ledge ready to jump, and takes it upon himself to make sure he gets home safe and finds a reason to live again.
Finite State by Scarlet_Ribbons (34k)
When he's blackmailed by, of all people, a weird work acquaintance who needs Spider-Man gone for obviously illegal purposes, Peter is forced to hang up the suit- at least temporarily -until he can resolve the situation. Unfortunately, things start to get sticky when Deadpool, who Spider-Man's been on-again off-again with (okay, yeah, lowkey messing around with), crashes into Peter's life and demands the photographer help him figure out what's got his favorite webhead so spooked.
Peter's life is really weird.
I Think I Missed a Step ('Cause I'm Fallin' For You) by mokuyoubi (42k)
There’s a weird familiarity about the kid's tone and posture, and it’s true that Wade is pretty far from home today but he’s also certain he’d remember that baby-face if he’d seen it before. On the other hand, he has spent the better part of the past few years feeling like he’s missed a step, so this conversation isn’t exactly anything new.[[A hot guy is willingly talking to us. Go with it.]][Don’t make an ass of yourself.]“Shaddup,” Wade grumbles, though Yellow has a point...
OR Peter thinks Wade knows his secret identity, and Wade is really confused by the hot coed who keeps popping up and hanging out with him.
Damage by dontcareajot (42k)
Peter Parker finds himself in a sticky situation and who should show up to rescue him but the infamous Deadpool? Now Peter feels indebted to the mercenary... And maybe weirdly charmed by him.
My Boyfriend's a Murder Bot by Fredegund (55k)
Wade Winston Wilson is ugly. His skin's inside out. It ripples and moves every second of every day, at constant war with the cancer. Vanessa put on a brave face for him when she first saw the changes, but it turns out even she can't stomach the sight for long. He's ugly and alone and nothing will ever be good in life again -
If only that were his only problem.
But Weapon X is at it again, under crisp new management, turning orphans into super slaves and bringing out the big guns to make sure nobody interferes this go around (namely one Pool comma Dead). So now, not only is Wade alone and ugly forever, but he's got a bit of a pest problem in the form of a black-clad murder-happy man spider with a collar around his neck and an unhealthy obsession with tying Deadpool up.
So maybe it's not all bad...
Paradise (spread out with a butter knife) by Sarah_Sandwich (72k)
He sighs from where he’s prone, arms akimbo, and roof gravel digging into his spine. “I lost my job. My… other job. The one that actually pays the bills.”
He doesn’t want to dwell on why he’s telling Deadpool of all people. Surely it has nothing to do with his desperate lack of friends. MJ is in California chasing her dreams, Harry’s undergoing treatment for his mental health and isn’t allowed visitors (not that it matters since they blacklisted Peter after last time), and Gwen… Well.
And it’s not like he can talk to Aunt May without her worrying about him starving to death under a bridge or something so… Deadpool it is. Man, when did his life get this pathetic?
OR: The one where Peter and Wade are literal soulmates but don't realize it for literal years because they're literal idiots.
Dissonance by stuckybarnes (121k)
Wherein Deadpool is reluctantly hired to protect Peter Parker from an organization out to hunt him, with varying success on both ends and quite a lot of feelings, revelations, and identity crises.
I hope you enjoy these fics as much as I did, and please let me know if you have any more Spideypool recs! And, as always, thank you to all the wonderful writers for sharing these incredible fics with us <33
Irondad Kidnapping pt2
To celebrate me finishing my own addition to this trope, I thought I'd share some more of my favourite Irondad kidnapping fics <33 Once again, please make sure to check the tags on all of these!
Deadpool's Guide To Accidental Kidnapping by inkinmyheartandonthepage (1.6k)
Tony flew as fast as he ever had. When the vet came into view, Tony didn’t bother slowing down. He barged through the door, flying through the lobby until he came skidding into the back room with a bang.
“Don’t shoot!”
Tony held up his hands, chargers charged and ready to fire without hesitation.
“Awww crap,” Deadpool groaned, head tilting back dramatically. “I forgot to call the dad.”
Open for Business by opal_earrings (3k)
Jake likes his night shift at the gas station in the middle of nowhere because nothing ever happens. The only reason he took the job is because nothing ever happens.
But then something actually does. A teenager comes in covered in blood and asking to use his phone, and somehow that’s not the strangest thing that's going to happen during his shift tonight.
Or: Peter using a stranger's phone to call Tony for help, from the (very confused) stranger's perspective
i'll be there for you (cause you're there for me too) by MotherKarizma (4k)
Afterwards, Tony made a steadfast habit of carrying that old-school mobile phone, with one purpose and one name in the contacts, around with him wherever he went. He let it burn a hole in his pocket; let it glare at him, accusatory, as he grabbed it from the nightstand each morning.
He couldn’t bring himself to leave it behind. Not only because he might, in a few, specifically dire scenarios, need to call upon Steve Rogers. Tony lied to himself when he claimed there was no part of him that would want to pick up on the off chance that Steve needed him.
It was a truth Tony hated to acknowledge but deep down knew all the same: he owed him one.
reese’s pieces by toast_boy (4.2k)
“The dinosaurs are going to get suspicious, you know,” Tony says.
“I know.”
They’re both quiet for a bit, then Peter looks up. “Should we… Do we tell them?” he asks. “Or do you want to hit me in the face to keep up the illusion?”
Tony blinks. Once. Twice. “You can’t say shit like that, kid.”
“I’m just trying to come up with solutions, here,” Peter says. “We could stage a kidnapping. We’ll get Happy to dress up as a goon and rough me up a little and then you all swoop in and save me. I bet Happy would love to punch me a few times.”
“Peter.”
“What? You know it’s true.”
Pizza, a Movie, and...an Attempted Kidnapping? by Pogokitten (4.5k)
“Tony. We’ll be fine,” Peter tells the man for what must be the tenth time in the last half hour.
Peter’s sitting on the couch of his and May’s apartment and building Legos with Morgan as they both watch their father’s methodical, yet anxious, pacing. He’s dressed to impress, as is Pepper who is watching the scene slightly exasperated.
“Are you sure? We can ditch the gala, kid. Just say the word,” Tony offers, halting in front of his kids.
Or: Tony and Pepper leave Peter in charge of Morgan while they go to their first gala since the third snap. Peter is expecting a calm night in with his adopted sister, but some thugs throw a wrench in his plans.
countless ways to say i love you by hopeless_hope (5.2k)
“You really love him, don’t you?”
Tony’s first instinct is to shy away from the strong word and shake his head. But then Peter turns his face into the palm of Tony’s hand, like a kitten seeking out the soothing touch, and Tony nods.
“Yeah,” he admits, swallowing thickly at the sudden swell of emotion in his chest. “I do.”
or
Over the years, Tony says a lot of things to and about Peter.
Atlas by polaroid15 (5.7k)
Peter and Tony are kidnapped by a psychopath with a particular interest in Greek mythology. Good thing Peter is used to holding up the weight of the world on his shoulders.
Secrets to keep and bullies to save by wolfypuppypiles (7.1k)
First Flash had punched him in the face for no reason and he got detention, then they were kidnapped from said detention. How could his day possibly get any worse?
5 Times Peter Slept Where He Shouldn’t by punkybunny (13k)
(+ 1 time Tony did!)
Peter has a tendency to fall sleep in places that he probably shouldn’t be sleeping in, whether he means to or not. Cue Tony, who is becoming increasing distressed as he tries to keep his kid safe and get him to finally sleep in an actual bed.
Whatever it Takes by sparksaam (21k)
Peter froze suddenly, his heart practically leaping into his throat. His eyes had made contact with the man in the front seat, only to realize that the person gazing back at him was not Tony. Instead, a tall, gruff-looking man with a hoodie and a red bandana over his mouth occupied the place where Mr. Stark had been sitting just minutes before.
“Don’t move,” the man grunted forcefully “or we’ll blow Stark’s brains out.”
OR
Tony Stark is abducted. Peter Parker just happens to be in the wrong place at the wrong time.
look closer (c l o s e r) by GalaxyThreads (23k)
"Tony wants to scream.
He wants to yell and shout and rip apart these non-teachers, demanding to know what happened, who hurt his kid, what the heck is going on. How this stupid field trip turned into a nightmare from hell and Peter is bleeding and scared and Tony doesn’t know what to do. How to fix this."
AKA: the field trip to SI from hell, because it's not a good thing an entire high school knows Peter (allegedly) works at SI.
5 times peter clung to tony by parkrstark (27k)
...and the one time tony clung to him.
what it means to be a person by LinaRai (62k)
Nearly a year after the spell that erased Peter Parker, he finds himself chained to his old mentor. Literally.
Tony Stark has been running from his memories of Thanos for two years, burying himself in work and spending time with the family he nearly lost. But when a cunning new villain kidnaps Spider-Man to get to him, they’ll have to work together to escape with their lives.
But Spider-Man is just a kid. A kid who seems to have the answers to every hole in Tony’s memory. And he’ll do anything to protect the one person who might finally let him rest.
(forgive me for putting my own fic on the list, I couldn't help myself <33)
So Still and Discreet by SpaceCowboysFromMars (63k)
Tony's world crumbles around him when Pepper dumps him, Steve rallies the other Avengers against him and dips off of the face of the planet, and Rhodey stops answering his calls after everything that went down in Germany. He doesn't expect all of this to change when he discovers a super-powered teenage boy in the basement of a HYDRA camp in rural Poland, but it could be a lot worse.
Things get complicated when Tony starts to care about the kid more than he ever intended to.
The Iron Forge (Whumptober 2019) by Assayist (163k)
(A cohesive story written to the 2019 Whumptober prompts.)
Peter didn’t think his name deserved to be on the patent next to Mr. Stark’s. And he definitely didn’t think taking the wrong drink at the celebration party would end up involving allergic reactions, surgery, poison, kidnapping, some weirdo calling himself the Forge Master, and his very own version of Mr. Stark’s Afghanistan.
Will Peter turn out to be half the inventor Mr. Stark was or will he need to wait for Mr. Stark to come save him? And what will happen when Mr. Stark is threatened and it’s up to Peter to save them both?
I hope you enjoy them all as much as I did. If there are any other kidnapping fics you enjoy, pretty please send them to me!! And otherwise, I hope you all have a lovely day <3
Hello 👋 🤗,
I hope you are well 🌺.
I am writing to you with a heart full of hope and faith, asking for your urgent help. My family is in great danger due to the war, and I am running a fundraising campaign to save them.
Please, could you reblog the post about my campaign on my account? Every share can make a difference in my family's life. 🙏
Can you reblog the pinned post on my account titled **Trapped Family in Gaza Appeals for Help to Survive**?
Don't hesitate to save a family with children, women, and newborns from death and war.
Thank you from the bottom of my heart for any help you can provide 🌹🌺.
of course I can reblog it for you!! sending you and your family love and hope, and to everyone else, please donate if you can <33
Hello dears ! I am asking you to support my campaign to help me to reach my goal. I am now in bad need to your support to help me stay alive and safe. Gaza is a very dangerous place either on the level of livelihood or on the level of souls. I need your monetary support to ensble me to get the basic needs for my family till Rafah crossing point reopens to move my family to safety and peace.Pleasd help a family be alive through your small donations or througn your shares to others.Thank you so much for your stand beside people in need .
please help to support this family's campaign if you can!!
Heloo
Im wafaa from Gaza
I need your help if you can
Please donate to save my life and my family 🍉🇵🇸
Asking for help is not easy, I ask for a small donation of only 20€ from each person, 20€ will save my family from death in Gaza 💔 Donate through the link in bio (gofundme) Together, we can achieve our goal within a day and provide crucial support to me and my family in Gaza. Your contribution means everything to us and in these difficult times your kindness is our greatest hope. We are very grateful for any assistance you can provide and thank you for your kindness and generosity in our time of need
https://gofund.me/27fab415
please help this family if you can 🙏
Help my family to get out and search for what is left of life. The war is devastating. Death is approaching every person and destruction is everywhere. We hope that there is hope before it is too late.
please help their family if you can 🙏 you can find more information here 💞
Hello my dears! I, Asmaa, ask you to support my campaign to help me reach my goal. 🙏 I am now in desperate need of your support to help me stay alive and safe. Gaza is a very dangerous place, both in terms of living standards and souls. I need your financial support so that I can get the basic needs of my family. Please help a family survive through your small donations or through your shares to others. And reblog. The campaign is going very slowly. 🙏🍉💔https://www.gofundme.com/f/8wewmz-help-asmaa-to-continue-school-outside-of-gaza This donation drive was vetted by: @90-ghost
here's the link to the gofundme!! I'm sending you and your family love and I hope your campaign moves quickly to your goal <33
Hi 🌟,
I hope you’re doing well. We’ve raised very little so far to support me and my family during these challenging times due to the conflict in Gaza. We’re still working to reach our goal and would greatly appreciate your help. 🙏
If you can’t donate, could you please share or reblog my pinned post? Your support in spreading the word would mean a lot to us. 💪
Pinned post: https://www.tumblr.com/ahmedharara/757031731268386816/weve-been-able-to-raise-only-120-so-far?source=share
Donation link: https://gofund.me/f751a38a
Thank you so much for your kindness and support! ❤️
here's a clickable link to the go fund me!! I really hope you and your family reach your goal soon <33
🇵🇸 ‼️Hello, please share widely, Mohamed and family and children, my sister Amir Malak has been going through a particularly scary time recently even by the horrific standards of the past few months. I hope she is well. My name is Mohamed Atallah. I urgently need surgery on my left hand and to rebuild my home and my older sister Eman's home. I live with my parents, six sisters, a little girl called Malak and a little boy called Amir in northern Gaza. I have created this link to fund a bone graft on my left hand which was hit by an explosive bullet, to rebuild our destroyed home and to evacuate my family from Gaza to a safe place. And donate any amount for a safe life.. I would appreciate your help ❤️ Can you help in whatever way you can? Click all the buttons on my wall, I beg you to visit my page, view it and donate via the link in my bio 💔 Donate and share widely 🆘🆘 Every euro makes a difference 🙏 I urge you to donate. Even the smallest amount can make a huge difference. Not only does he need to be evacuated with his family, but he is in dire need of surgery! The IDF shot him in the arm with an explosive bullet. That’s not normal. It’s explosive. So he needs treatment right away! Otherwise, he’ll get an infection and possibly an amputation. We don’t want that to happen, do we? So contribute! Be sure to retweet and share his story if you can’t. Help my family. War is devastating. There’s nothing left to live for. No schools, no universities, no home, no dreams. All dreams are shattered. I hope you can help before it’s too late. @90-ghost reviewed Mohammed's identity documents and corresponded with him as well. So, in short: This is a brand new fundraiser that I can vouch for. Please share and contribute if you can. Feel free to repost on other platforms as well.🍉
here's the link to their gofundme!! I'm sending you love and hope we can help you to reach your goal quickly <3
Hi there 👋,
My name is Mohammad, a father of three young children living in Gaza. We are facing unimaginable hardships due to the ongoing catastrophic war, and our home is no longer safe. I’ve started a fundraising to raise $40,000 to move my family to a safer place where my children can have a chance at a better future. 💔🍉
If you could spare a moment to read our story and consider donating or even sharing, it would mean the world to us. Every bit of support brings us closer to safety and hope. 🙏
Thank you for your kindness and compassion. ❤
https://gofund.me/fd1faea2 🔗
here's the clickable link!! please support this lovely family if you can <33
welcome everybody
I am Muhammad Imad Abdel Latif Sharab
First, after an aggressive war on Gaza City and its revival, we were displaced from our 3-storey house in which I and my family of 3 members live.
My father's family consists of 8 members
My grandfather, may God have mercy on him, was martyred by occupation aircraft on 12/14/2023.
The one who was martyred while he was leaving the house to check on our house next to him, which could not be reached due to a brutal enemy who does not differentiate between anyone in death, went out to check on our house, which we were not in because of my displacement to Rafah, me, my father, and our families due to the intensity of the fighting in Khan Yunis, and after that A few days ago, our store in which my father and brothers work was bombed by occupation aircraft. He was working to gather his strength from it and meet the needs of our house, which no longer exists due to the bombing. We ask you to help and contribute, even if just a little, by donating to us so that we can compensate for a little of what we lost.
Many thanks to you 😢
🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺
If you do not understand the words well, because I am not very good at English, but I ask you to help me with money so that I can compensate for even a little of what I lost, and I am very grateful to you, my dears😢🥺😢🥺😢🥺🥺😢
I am so, so sorry for your loss!!
Please donate here to help them out <33
I am a mother of my children. I want your help to care for them. I have an autistic child who suffers from chronic kidney failure. I need medicines and health care, and because of the war on my city, I am unable to bring expensive medicines. and Please, you are our only hope in this situation we are going through. Through your donation to us, we will find safety and meet our basic needs. Donate $10 or $20, enough to protect my family from danger. If you cannot donate, you can republish my story through your page through your friends in my last post on my page.🍉🇵🇸 https://gofund.me/bf16d08d
I'm so sorry that I can't donate, but I hope you reach your goal soon <33
please donate here!!