Love Lost - Tumblr Posts - Page 2
The Sad Part
Even though it is over, and it can never be put back together, you know you will always love her.
The sad part is, you cannot tell her.
Yet Again
In the early morning fog between sleep and waking, you came again – unbidden. The dream started as the usual sort, jumbled thoughts of a recent past life with things that never happened, as if they would happen. Those images of things gladly left behind gave way to you, and a heavy feeling of loss and regret.
We seemed to have a tentative relationship, which filled me with optimism. The real past was real, but at this moment we were engaging each other; me full of remorse and longing, you keeping me at more than arm’s length, yet there was a glimmer of hope. We were interacting, and I did not want it to stop.
As sleep gave way to waking, those restless moments lying in bed not yet ready to get up but also unable to go back to sleep, when our minds ramp up like an old locomotive building up steam, I began to wonder, why has neither of us become engaged with another these 15 years after the divorce?
Did I break both of us?
2024/07/04
LOVE BRINGS HATE
It never comes quite at the right time
When it finally does, you don’t get to keep it
It gets you so high, but it’s fleeting
You’ll be on the floor begging “don’t leave me”
Like a drug you crave it, scratching & feigning
But that never really stops it from leaving
It leaves you broken & bleeding
It looks so ugly but it’s taste is the sweetest
Makes fools of once logical people
A war between good and evil
Love, what a beautiful demon
09.17.2023
4:40 A.M.
🖤
ASTIGMATISM
I miss you more than you know
It’s probably bad for my health
But you know like I know
We just gotta play the hand that we’re dealt
And if that means we can’t be
Together, right now or even forever
At least I still see your face in my dreams
And all of our memories, I’ll keep
The hands on a clock don’t stop, don’t rewind
But I want to go back, when you were mine
You’re gone but I don’t understand why
I’m falling apart, why do you seem just fine?
All I see is us in my mind
You ripped the sun from my sky
And when you leave me like this
There really ain’t no sunshine
Asking God if I could just go back
To the exact moment in time
To the night that I met you
I knew the stars had aligned
—
We could have made it, right?
Does it keep you up at night?
Does it make you wonder?
Does it eat you alive?
Have to tell myself lie after lie
Or I’d end up going out my mind
And I know it’s not my fault,
But I should’ve kept you inside
Cant no motherfucking body say that I didn’t try
I would’ve laid down and died
Pathetic but fuck it
You were my entire life
God only knows how much of my soul went with you
I’m just a ghost you left behind
And maybe we coulda been fine
Maybe not, but I wonder all the time
And ain’t it Fucked up how only now you realize
My love for you was more than alive
Took for granted, Jesus Christ
Now all you can do is sit and watch it die
No closure, nothing
You can’t even say goodbye
Then all of a sudden
Everything is 20/20
Like damn, I should have seen it coming
Hindsight
09.20.2023
2:18 A.M.
🔍
CHANGES
I don't think like I used to
Love was never my friend
Isolation was an answer
Losing my mind, I guess
Hijacked, robbed of my control
Empty mind, you can knock, nobodys home
Learned you quickly, I hated to see you go
You gave me a love I have never known
You are tangled into my soul
With you I’m safe, your arms feel like home
What I hate the most is you’re really gone
So my heart is locked up & you have the master key
Which means until they let you go, I’ll never be free
And sometimes your absence haunts me
Feels like I’m coming apart at the seams
A little dramatic? Maybe
But I can’t help what you do to me
Fuck being sad, I feel incomplete
Tell me how to stay alive with half a heartbeat
So many miles and hours left to see
Far apart, years between
The ones I love the most I never get to keep
Promise me one thing
When you come back
Please don’t ever leave
10.02.2023
3:07 A.M.
🩶