Mental Health Issues - Tumblr Posts - Page 2

“Don’t give me that.” James corners him against the wall, his voice rising.  “Merlin, you know I’m so tired of this. Do you see what we do to Severus every day for the way he acts? And you’re just as bad as him.” He pauses. 

Regulus tries to say something but his tongue feels numb and clumsy in his mouth.

“You know what, maybe you’re worse,” James continues quieter, “because you know what you’re doing is wrong but you’re too scared to change.” He shoves Regulus in the chest and he stumbles backwards, his back hitting the wall in a solid thump.

“I’m sorry,” Regulus whispers. “But you know I don’t have a choice.”

“That's the thing,” James hisses, “You do. I keep hoping you’ll understand but I’m realizing that you’re nothing like Sirius, you’ll never be like him. And it’s killing me because I still love you. That’s the worst part about this.” His voice cracks, furious tears cling to his eyelashes. “I love you Regulus and I don’t deserve it. He pulls away, stepping neatly backwards. “This is not what I deserve.”

Regulus stands frozen against the wall as James stalks down the hallway. Love, he thinks numbly, is that what this is?

An excerpt from my new wip: when you go (leave your shadow behind) 

Read Here

i don’t want to be a biological parent. whenever someone goes ‘oh, your kids will be so cute’, ‘i can’t wait for you to finally have children of your own’, my blood actually starts to boil with anger and despise. i can’t stand when baby starts to cry in the public and think that they are awfuly anoying. but if some kid, on the internet, in school etc. are a “baby gay”, will say that their parents are awful, not carying and/or that they see me as an elder sibling/parental figure cause of it or just because, i will adopt them. oh, you don’t have good relationship with your parents or you don’t have some parent at all, guess what, you are my child now. i will take care of you. sorry, but i don’t make rules. and i don’t know if it’s the “eldest daughter” complex or queerness in me, but this one trope, the found family, you will have to pry open from my dead hands.

me at found family trope:

reblog if you think these are all valid reasons for a student or an employee to take a day off from their school or their job without their grades or paycheck being affected in any way:

- period cramps

- exhaustion, be it mental or physical

- depression, anxiety, and other mental health related issues

I'm tired

It's been raining for three days straight and I wasn't able to fall asleep until 5 am. Stars are no longer seen in the sky, as the grey clouds cover all of them. My back hurts, my arms, my legs hurt, despite me sleeping fairly well. I wake up late and it's infuriating. My summer break ends soon and I need to fix my sleep schedule, but I can't.

I can't.

Can't do anything, can't pick up a pen and draw something decent, can't listen when somebody is talking, can't get up to do something.

Do what?

The sun is no longer warm, it rains, and after the rain, it's cold. It's unfair. How can it be this cold in the summer? I hate this weather, and I hate this country and the bigotry and I hate how I can't flee because I'm still in the uni and I hate the fact that my diploma probably will not be valid in any other country.

I just hate.

One thought of going to the uni again makes me wanna puke. It's been only a year, and there are three more ahead. I'm sick of learning, sick of people, sick of judgement. Every time I finish the year I think "oh goodness gracious, it's the final frontier" and then it's not. When I finished the school, I thought it would be better. I thought I would feel better. It wasn't like that. But still, it was better in uni. Easier, both mentally and physically. And though it's easier, I'm worse. Every time something improves in my life, I feel better for a second and then ten times worse. When I moved and, therefore, changed schools, it was better but I felt worse. When I went to school 5 days a week instead of 6, it was better, but again, I felt worse. When I finally ended the school, it was fantastic, but somehow

I still

Felt

Worse

It's like I'm allergic to happiness. Every time, every fucking time it feels good to feel good and the moment later im spiraling down. I do one step forward and a hundred steps back.

I feel like an unsteady tower, ready to crumble at the little breeze of wind. And somehow I'm still there, standing. Observing. Despite the fact that this tower cracks and small pieces fall out, it stands. I stand. I'm alive.

And it hurts to be alive.

I love roger, however, If he talked to me like that, I would cry. And possibly never talk again..

Also…

“You are cheating, you are fucking cheating you wall builders”

Here, have almost 3 minutes of Roger Waters bitching during the Wall live rehearsals

The coloring doesn't work, that's for sure! I tried it, really I did, but I soon became obsessed with how it looked and what colors to use for the best effect... yeah, I fell down deep into the rabbit hole.

As someone who has lived their entire life with anxiety, I am glad that this post exists. Thank you so much for sharing this bit of helpful information!

Why "doing something relaxing” does not help your anxiety

A lot of the time when people give advice intended to relieve anxiety, they suggest doing “relaxing” things like drawing, painting, knitting, taking a bubble bath, coloring in one of those zen coloring books, or watching glitter settle to the bottom of a jar.

This advice is always well-intentioned, and I’m not here to diss people who either give it or who benefit from it. But it has never, ever done shit for me, and this is because it goes about resolving anxiety in the completely wrong way.  

THE WORST THING YOU CAN DO when suffering from anxiety is to do a “relaxing” thing that just enables your mind to dwell and obsess more on the thing that’s bothering you. You need to ESCAPE from the dwelling and the obsession in order to experience relief.

You can drive to a quiet farm, drive to the beach, drive to a park, or anywhere else, but as someone who has tried it all many, many times, trust me–it’s a waste of gas. You will just end up still sad and stressed, only with sand on your butt. You can’t physically escape your sadness. Your sadness is inside of you. To escape, you need to give your brain something to play with for a while until you can approach the issue with a healthier frame of mind. 

People who have anxiety do not need more time to contemplate, because we will use it to contemplate how much we suck.

In fact, you could say that’s what anxiety is–hyper-contemplating. When we let our minds run free, they run straight into the thorn bushes. Our minds are already running, and they need to be controlled. They need to be given something to do, or they’ll destroy everything, just like an overactive husky dog ripping up all the furniture. 

Therefore, I present to you: 

THINGS YOU SHOULD NOT DO WHEN ANXIOUS

–Go on a walk

–Watch a sunset, watch fish in an aquarium, watch glitter, etc.

–Go anywhere where the main activity is sitting and watching

–Draw, color, do anything that occupies the hands and not the mind

–Do yoga, jog, go fishing, or anything that lets you mentally drift 

–Do literally ANYTHING that gives you great amounts of mental space to obsess and dwell on things.

THINGS YOU SHOULD DO WHEN ANXIOUS:

–Do a crossword puzzle, Sudoku, or any other mind teaser game. Crosswords are the best.

–Write something. It doesn’t have to be a masterpiece. Write the Top 10 Best Restaurants in My City. Rank celebrities according to Best Smile. Write some dumb Legolas fanfiction and rip it up when you’re done. It’s not for publication, it’s a relief exercise that only you will see. 

–Read something, watch TV, or watch a movie–as long as it’s engrossing. Don’t watch anything which you can run as background noise (like, off the top of my head, Say Yes to The Dress.) As weird as it seems, American Horror Story actually helps me a lot, because it sucks me in. 

–Masturbate. Yes, I’m serious. Your mind has to concentrate on the mini-movie it’s running. It can’t run Sexy Titillating Things and All The Things That are Bothering Me at the same time. (…I hope. If it can, then…ignore this one.) 

–Do math problems—literally, google “algebra problems worksheet” and solve them. If you haven’t done math since 7th grade this will really help you. I don’t mean with math, I mean with the anxiety. 

–Play a game or a sport with someone that requires great mental concentration. Working with 5 people to get a ball over a net is a challenge which will require your brain to turn off the Sadness Channel. 

–Play a video game, as long as it’s not something like candy crush or Tetris that’s mindless. 

THINGS YOU SHOULD DO DURING PANIC ATTACKS ESPECIALLY:

–List the capitals of all the U.S. states

–List the capitals of all the European countries

–List all the shapes you can see. Or all the colors. 

–List all the blonde celebrities you can think of.

–Pull up a random block of text and count all the As in it, or Es or whatever.  

Now obviously, I am not a doctor. I am just an anxious person who has tried almost everything to help myself.  I’ve finally realized that the stuff people recommend never works because this is a disorder that thrives on free time and free mental space. When I do the stuff I listed above, I can breathe again. And I hope it helps someone here too. 

(Now this shouldn’t have to be said but if the “do nots” work for you then by all means do them. They’ve just never worked for me.)