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Okay so, I've been watching the Ukrainian dub to see what's been changed. I set the subtitles to autotranslate (this will give me a translation of the Ukrainian lines, rather than the regular English subtitles BUT!! I can't guarantee that it's accurate!!)

Anyway, THE DUB IS HILARIOUS. CAINE, WHAT HAPPENED TO THE NO SWEARING RULE??

In TADC, some lines got changed between the dubs

My favourite of which is when Caine asks Bubble "why are you like this?"

According to my friend, in the Ukrainian dub, it got changed to "evolution did not have pity on you" LMAO

THAT LINE IS INFINITELY FUNNIER THAN THE ENGLISH VERSION

ive had this thought rattling around in my brain for a thousand years but i wanted to wait until i got to diana's introduction to share it. do you ever think about how reid's life would have changed if he'd had any siblings? particularly younger ones?

how it would have changed the kind of person he became, how much worse the parentification would have been. how much more of a scumbag it would have made his father. if he had custody or if he lost them to the system or to family he barely knew (whenever i think about this sort of au i always think of the first, maybe because the latter two are just Too Real). do you ever think about it. i do.

thinking about reid's parentification again. hh. someone yell with me.

this scene makes me need to lay down. goddddd.

sometimes i get the sense that reid is more attached to gideon than gideon is to reid. obviously they both serve as surrogates for the family member each is estranged from (gideon is estranged from his son and reid is estranged from his dad) but.

you know. reid clings to gideon, not physically but emotionally, and i think a lot of his wellbeing at the start of the series relies on gideon's presence. gideon almost certainly knows the most about reid out of anyone on the team—i don't think canon ever says that reid has told gideon about diana, but i would imagine he has—and i think reid feels understood by him in a way he doesn't by other people, even compared to the rest of the team who (mostly) try their best. i think he also tends to try to be as good and deserving as possible of gideon's presence, since he definitely at least partially feels like his father left because he wasn't good enough.

on the flipside, while gideon definitely sees reid as a son, he's...not the best dad. i think we see him repeating a lot of the mistakes that drove a wedge between him and stephen with reid, and i think that had mandy patinkin stayed on, we would have gotten a larger parallel there. he holds him at arms length, trying not to get too close, although he definitely cares about him more than he lets on and the mask slips sometimes, like this moment and on the plane after ldsk.

hahahaha i wonder why they have a close-up of reid eating a rice krispie treat in this episode. its not like that will be the only thing he gets to eat for the next couple days. haha. ha. hh.

FUCK william reid all my homies hate william reid.

i know they try to retcon his reason for abandoning diana and spencer to make him more sympathetic but a few things: a. it's very much a retcon that i think contradicts what's established in revelations. b. i don't think the "better" reason makes him any less of a scumbag and c. i think he's lying to himself about why he left to make himself feel better.

walking out on your ten-year-old son and mentally ill wife because her mental illness is too much for you to handle is pathetic it makes you pathetic. diana doesnt even know what day it is when william leaves and she tries to get him to take spencer with him because she knows deep down she can't take care of him. it's one thing to be overwhelmed—that would be sympathetic and understandable.

i think what people miss sometimes is that it's established that diana was diagnosed with schizophrenia and on medication for it before spencer was even born, as she mentions going off her antipsychotics for the duration of her pregnancy in memoriam. diana's diagnosis is not recent in the flashback in revelations, she was diagnosed at minimum ten years prior. it's not like this is some new, overwhelming thing he's struggling to get used to (not that it being sudden would make abandoning her better). i always gathered that she was fine and had a handle on things at first, but her illness slowly worsened and she became less good about taking her medication.

again. being overwhelmed would be understandable and sympathetic. even considering divorce. but go to counselling. get her the help she clearly needs. especially because you have a child. sure, fine, you're overwhelmed because your wife is seriously struggling to take care of herself and manage her mental illness. but how the hell is your response to that to leave her with your ten-year-old? especially when she's asking you to take him with you because she knows she can't take care of him by herself. how is your response to that to go "bye severely mentally ill wife! bye ten-year-old son! oh, how will you two manage now that the household consists of a woman dealing with severe mental illness and an actual child? idk. figure it out."

and i know it's contradicted by memoriam, but my headcanon has always been that part of the reason he left is because he found a "normal" woman and wanted to go have his picket fence, abandoning the family that needed him in the process.

good job william. you fucked up a perfectly good ten-year-old. look at him, he's parentified now.

s02e01 — the fisher king

s02e15 — revelations

i think there are a few reasons reid is so particularly hostile towards emily post-2x15:

most simply, she was the newest member of the team, and therefore the one he knew the least and could most easily project onto. he doesn't know her well, so it's easiest to construe her actions as whatever he wants them to be in order to have someone to direct his anger at. he'd also feel less bad about attacking her over the other members of the team, who he knows far better (this is not calculated. im saying he needs someone to be angry at and he latches onto the closest person who he knows the least)

she replaced elle. i do ship spencelle (as a tragedy) but even if you take shipping goggles off, i do think they were quite close platonically. and even if you don't think he was close with elle, he definitely feels particularly guilty about her leaving. (he says so out loud with his mouth at the end of 2x6, when he's talking to morgan about the conversation he had with elle shortly before the case took a turn, and starts to obsess over what-ifs until morgan shuts that down). so not only is emily the newest member of the team, she's also replacing someone whose departure he explicitly feels particularly guilty about

she's calling him out on his obvious issues when none of the rest of the team are. ironically, i think its her newness that makes her feel like she can, and her newness that makes him respond so irately. i think the rest of the team feels uncomfortable and unsure of how to act—they know they need to confront him, but they worry about how to go about that without the friendship imploding. i'm not saying "well emily is new and doesn't gaf about him, so she doesn't care if confronting him makes him hate her." she wouldnt confront him if she didn't care about him, but she has less to lose. tying back to the first point, i also think emily being the one to confront him while also being so new to the team lets reid project whatever motivation he wants to onto her in a way he couldn't with the rest of the team. he can pretend she has an ulterior motive and therefor disregard her concern, while that would be a lot harder to do if someone he knew very well did the same. (again—this is not calculated).

i hope this makes sense 😭 i have a Lot of feelings on their friendship (as you can probably tell from my fics about them) and its rocky start. final thing: step 8 and 9 of NA concern making amends with the people you've hurt as a result of your addiction, and i think sometimes about the conversation he probably had with emily when he got to those.

hey cm? why would you follow a scene of a woman talking about how her husband's job destroyed him until she had to divorce him with hotch on the phone with haley. why would you do that. im ill.

hey how mad do you think morgan was when reid's aesthetic became fashionable

some teenager: oh my god i looooove soft grandpa academia!! where did you get that sweater vest? reid: oh, uh. goodwill. morgan, twitching:

so im writing an au of this now. haha

god the "reid goes to check on gideon at his cabin" scene still makes me feel so nauseous even though i know he doesn't actually find gideon's body like the viewer is made to expect.* but like. watch this clip. it really looks like he's just found his body until it cuts to show what he's really looking at. even now it makes me nervous

anyway. call me fucked up but i wish there were more fics that looked at what would have happened if that really was the situation. i like to put my blorbos in blenders and turn them on, okay? sorry. sorry. my demons

*i think this fakeout is missed by some people simply because gideon leaving the team is spoiled a lot—which is fair, because the episode where it happens aired sixteen years ago. but the clip above, the letter reading like a suicide note, the last episode ending with gideon holding his gun...they really want you to think he's killed himself. and reid is probably worried about that the whole drive, too.

the contrast between emily and reid in 2x17 and 3x03 has me on the floor.

he listens this time. he doesn't get too defensive, (just normal reid defensive. baby steps). and then we have emily bringing up his dad, specifically information that we haven't heard before (that he's blocked out most of his memories of him), which implies that reid has opened up to her about it offscreen. to me, that also suggests it was in a way he hasn't with the rest of the team.

(if i had to guess at how that went down: sometime post 2x18 reid apologised to emily for the way he treated her, and brought up his abandonment issues as being part of the reason. then either one thing led to another and he was opening up about it, or emily asked him about it later and he told her, maybe because he felt like he owed her honesty after reacting to her concern with such hostility)

this probably isnt very coherent and i might come back to it later but the development of their friendship is so so important to me.

headcanon that at some point in reid's early childhood (prior to his dad leaving and probably when he was too young to really understand what was happening), diana spent some time in a psychiatric hospital for one reason or another. (a suicide attempt, a severe episode, a time when she couldn't care for herself, etc)

this has occurred to me before but it popped back into my brain because i listened to my mom by kimya dawson (i love them) and the chorus. its devastating in any context honestly:

My mom's sick she's in a hospital bed I've got a word for all you ghosts in her head And all you skeletons in her closet Leave her alone Leave her alone Leave her alone, please Because my mom needs you gone My mom needs you gone As long as she is haunted she'll never get strong My mom needs you gone

whats wrong with him. why is he running like that

so. i love this line.

but i want to talk about her expressions after gideon asks if she's alright:

i dont know. throughout the first season, elle expresses the strongest negative feelings towards sex offenders (reasonable!) and sure, she came from a unit dealing specifically with that and that's her specialty (remember when all the characters had specific skill sets and specialties?) but especially this reaction here seems very personal. and this is pre-randall garner, so she doesn't yet have that connection to being attacked in her own home.

also. the team knows sexual offense crimes are elle's specialty. they know that's where she came from. but her response to gideon when he asks if she's okay after she goes off on scott isn't "i've seen a lot of this and it gets me riled up" it's to get defensive and evasive. if it was anger born of something the team is aware of, why hide it? her response to gideon and her expression afterwards very much read to me as someone hiding something.

will forever thinking about morgan refusing to leave dr. brazier's side while the bomb under her seat is being defused.

i didn't get a good screenshot of it, but he's also holding her hand the whole time.

and then the way he hugs her??

keep in mind he Just met this woman. he has no emotional connection to her beyond the fact that she is a person in distress and he is a person who cares. there is a bomb under her seat that could go off if she moves wrong or they fail to defuse it. if that happens, it will kill her, and almost certainly him too. he doesn't care. he kneels outside her car and holds her hand while she prays because he will not let her be afraid alone. he will not let her die alone, if it comes to that. derek morgan the bottomless well of compassion you are.

the day i stop thinking about the ending of s02e11 sex, birth, death is the day i die.

like. reid coming extremely close to needing to be dragged away from nathan?

both garcia and reid's expressions here? reid, who cares for and identifies with nathan, garcia, who has (i believe) never seen a dead body* in person? (also, you can't see it here because it's a still image, but reid's breath is hitching here and he looks close to hyperventilating)

*i know nathan is not dead here, nor does he die at all—the point im making is that having never seen a dead body in person before would make you more unprepared for seeing the aftermath of an unsuccessful suicide attempt than someone who has

reid makes no movement to clean the blood off his hands until gideon is right in front of him. he just stands there and stares like hes dissociating until gideon comes up and, in my opinion, sort of startles him into acting.

and gideon putting an arm around reid and taking him away from the scene while morgan does the same to garcia. hhhh.

this is the most emotional we see reid get up to this point. he's yelling while he's trying to keep nathan arrive, enough to strain his voice. i dont think hes so much as raised his voice at all up to this point.

i wonder how long he washed his hands for before he deemed himself "clean".

am i losing my mind or is emily saying they keep CHAMPAGNE on the jet

thinking about reid's parentification again. hh. someone yell with me.

this exchange is so good and funny and gay. the line delivery is great and the way morgan's eyes dart down a little is hilarious. but i just can't laugh at this scene because i have worms in my brain.

all i can think about in this scene is how incredibly dehumanizing this would feel. for anyone, but especially for reid, given the goalpost incident*. i wonder if that crossed morgan's mind as well—he leaves entirely when he could turn his back.

*is there a better way to refer to that? i'd refer to it as "his SA" but a. a decent number of people would probably assume i was referring to the theory about his dad and b. not a lot of people seem to see the goalpost incident as SA