Peter Parker Is A Little Shit - Tumblr Posts - Page 2

Tony: Ned, what was the first thing you did after the shooting?

Ned: I called my parents and told them that I was okay.

Tony: And what was the first thing Peter did?

Ned: He ate a banana.

Peter: You know, you could consider me like a barbie scooter.

Tony: Elaborate?

Peter: Fabulous and unstable 😀

Tony: I’m firing your therapist—

Peter: People have asked me if I am a glass half full person or a glass half empty person

Peter: And I have come to this conclusion.

Peter: *abrubtly smashes glass on the ground*

Peter, humming: When you’ve wimbled all your wombles, and you’ve jingled all your jongles, listen to the flimble flomble of my fûckįñg tâñgęrïńē...

Tony:

Peter: Pain. Agony even. Suffering perhaps. Torment maybe.

Tony: I just asked you what you wanted for dinner...jesus fucking christ—

Peter: I don’t care what anybody says, I stand by what I think: nachos are real.

Tony: Who-who opposed???

Harley: I’m just saying...they’re a bit sus...

Ned: Are you ever laying there peacefully—

Peter: No.

Ned:…I didn’t even finish—

Peter: No.