Incorrect Spiderson - Tumblr Posts

Karen: Peter, what you're wearing is interfering with you fight-

Peter: RESPECT THE DRIP, KAREN

Tony: I thought you liked the shells kraft dinner?

Peter: I'm trying something new like you said

Tony: but-

Peter: THIS IS ME EXPANDING MY PALLET, DAD.

Ned: When you first meet someone and it's new and exciting, you know that feeling?

Peter: No. No, see, when I first meet somebody it's mostly panic, anxiety and a great deal of sweating.

Shut up, you're older than Sesame Street.

- Peter to Tony

Tony: JESUS PETER, WE SENT YOU TO GET MCDONALDS AND NOW YOU'RE IN NEED OF A MAJOR SURGERY!!?? WHAT HAPPENED?!!

Peter, in a hospital bed: I was Mc-hit by a Subaru.

Tony:

Tony: Don't do the surgery.

Peter and Harley: *Throwing pencils at each other*

Tony: YOU TWO BETTER STOP AND MATURE THE FUCK UP.

Peter:

Harley:

Peter: TAXES *punches Harley in the face*

Harley:

*Tony telling Stephen*

Steve: Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes.

Peter, nodding sagely: So, that way when you criticize them, you are a mile away from them and you have their shoes.

Tony, tearing up: That's my boy.

Peter: I wish I could get the same amount of praise as a sham-WOW.

Tony:

Tony: I’m going to hug you now so shut up.

Peter with his super hearing and his teenage hormones: OH MY GOD STOP BLINKING SO LOUDLY.

Tony, confused and frightened: I’m sORRY?????

Texting:

Peter: *sends a picture of a guy throwing a fidget spinner*

Peter: Consider this a warning

Peter: Oh wrong number, sorry.

Tony: Who was that for?

Tony: Peter who the fuck was that for??

Tony: So kid, anybody you like at school?

Peter: Well I sexually identify as a mistake so what does that say?

Tony: That says “another tharapy appointment.”

Tony: Ned, what was the first thing you did after the shooting?

Ned: I called my parents and told them that I was okay.

Tony: And what was the first thing Peter did?

Ned: He ate a banana.