Incorrect Irondad And Spiderson - Tumblr Posts

Tony: We’ll find another route, it’s not safe for amateurs.

Peter: That sounds like a challenge.

Tony: I can't stress this enough, that is not a challenge.

Peter: ...Is exactly what you say to dissuade the weak of heart from accepting the challenge. Well, challenge accepted!

Tony [losing hairs]: There is no challenge!

The world's greatest mystery

[Tony and Peter eating dinner]

Peter: *eats a bite, gets up with fork in hand and walks out*

Tony: ????

Peter: *walks back in* where was I going?

Tony: yeah I was wondering

Steve: so. You thought-

Peter: oh my god a live psa demo

Peter: can I video this?

Tony: a live what

Steve:

Steve: oh no

Tony: Listen, I know I'm not your father-

Peter: I know.

Tony:

Peter: I know you're not my father Mr. Stark.

Tony: But-

Peter: Do you know?

Tony:

Peter: Do you know you're not my father?

Tony: Yes, I know.

Peter: You don't act like someone who is not my father, Mr. Stark.

Peter, leaping down from the ceiling: I'm gonna do a back flip and commit seven wars crimes.

Tony:

Peter: no one can stop me!

Tony:

Peter: I'm invincible!

Tony: I distinctly remember telling you to lay off energy drinks

Peter: war crimes!

Pepper: It looks like it's gonna be a white Christmas this year!

Tony: It's supposed to rain on the 24th

Pepper, covering Morgan, Peter, Harley and Nebula's ears:

A defensive Vision covering Wanda's ears:

Natasha covering Clint's ears:

Bucky and Steve struggling to cover each other's ears:

Stephen: STOP.

Karen: Peter, what you're wearing is interfering with you fight-

Peter: RESPECT THE DRIP, KAREN

Tony: I thought you liked the shells kraft dinner?

Peter: I'm trying something new like you said

Tony: but-

Peter: THIS IS ME EXPANDING MY PALLET, DAD.

I can't explain how much I want autistic!Michelle Jones x ADHD!Peter Parker...

Runner up on my ADHD Michelle Jones:

Mj: depression?

Mj: this isn't my depression

Mj: this is just my ADHD.

Mj: Y'know, it makes me forgetful

Mj: I just-

Mj: like, sit down my will to live ONE TIME

Mj: I turn around- it's phuckin' gone!?

Mj: I can't figure out where I put the thing.

Harley: why are you giving us tips on how to save money?

Tony: I'm preparing you for the future

Peter: aren't you a billionaire?

Tony: I may be, but that doesn't mean I'm inheriting any of my money to you two.

Spideychelle WIP

Peter wiped his bleeding nose, the blood dripping past his lips down his chin and onto the broken ground. Looking up, he mentally winced at the blade tip pointing in his detection. 

He tried backing up, but his fragile legs couldn't handle holding the rest of his aching body. 

It was cold. Everything was being enclosed in black spots. It felt as if he was underwater.

"NO!" Happy held back tears as well as a struggling Michelle. "No! No, no, no, NO!" Harold grasped Mj by the waist and attempted to pull her back. Failing, Michelle and her sobs ran up towards Peter, the entity that previously stabbed him disappearing.

Michelle threw herself onto Peter, cradling his cold, bloodied face. 

"Please, please, please, no… Peter? Peter, please… c'mon," She sniffed, watching her tears hit his face. 

Watching her tears diluting his blood. 

She refused to let go. She wasn't losing Peter too. She wasn't losing anyone. She couldn't.

It was unfair. Peter was a sixteen year old, he's been through everything. He hasn't even gotten to live out his teenage years.

Ned, running into Mj's room: MJ, HURRY THERE'S A SPIDER!

Mj: THAN KILL IT!

Ned: YOU KILL IT!

Mj: *grabs a shoe a slowly walks into the living room*

Peter, looking up at her: ?

Mj: *Frozen with a shoe in her hand*

Peter, thinking it's some kinda TikTok trend: *takes the shoe*

Ned: SAVE YOURSELVES!

Mj: DON'T LEAVE!!!!

Peter: *after watching sonic movie* i relate to sonic! Because i too am an orphan,live with parent figures who can be in mortal danger cause of how much time i spend with them for I I a superhero and a kid!

Pepper: *sobbing into papers*

Tony,a tired dad: Peter,you want me to call your therapist-

Tony: what is a reason that may ruin a relationship no matter how strong the bond is?

Peter: Divorce.

Why is this so accurate—

Peter: Mr. Stark, Morgan's asking where babies come from

Tony : She's too little, just tell her about the stork

Peter: Ok

Peter, to Morgan: So your mom slept with a stork

Tony : The fu-

Nick Fury: I called you. 7 times.

Peter : I watched it ring

Peter : 7 times

Everything, literally everything

Tony: Anyone d-

Shuri: Depressed?

MJ: Drained?

Peter: Dumb?

Ned: Disliked?

Tony: -done with their work... what is wrong with you people ...

Tony: Me and Pepper are having a kid

Peter: That's great! Who-

Tony slamming the adoption papers: It's you, sign here.

Tony: So kid, what do you want for Christmas?

Peter: The will to live.

Tony:

Tony: Therapy it is.