Real Conversation - Tumblr Posts

10 months ago

my friend: NTA jeene nahi dega

(NTA won't even let us live)

me: NTA marne bhi to nahi de raha?

(NTA isn't even allowing us to die!)


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6 years ago

Virgil: hey, ro

Roman, eating chips and not looking up from his phone: what?

Virgil: ya know what we should do?

Roman: what?

Virgil: overthrow the government

Roman: and make smores

Virgil: we don’t have marshmallows

Roman: Well, then *sigh* we’ll do the government thing


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4 years ago

Virgil, after narrowly missing running over Janus: look, pat, you’re focusing on the wrong thing here. I could’ve driven over him with my car, but I didn’t. I should’ve, but I didn’t.


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4 years ago

Roman entering the kitchen: Is Patton sad again?

Virgil, sitting at the table on his phone: what makes you ask that?

Roman, pointing to the mounds of brownies and cupcakes: He is sad baking-

Patton, coming in covered in flour: WhO wAnTs BrOwNiEs


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4 years ago

Patton, trying to come across as aggressive/authoritative: You’re toast, mister!

Roman, a petty himbo: OH YEAH? YOU AND WHO’S TOASTER!?


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3 years ago

Funny things said in school as Mha quotes

Aizawa: I will be right back, Bakugo your in charge

Deku panicked: Why would you leave Kacchan in charge out of literally everyone else?!

Aizawa: I want to see chaos

_______

Sero: NO BAGELS ARE THE BEST KIND OF BREAD!

Kaminari : BRO THEY AREN’T EVEN A KIND OF BREAD!

Sero: THEY ARE MADE OF THE SAME STUFF AS OTHER KINDS OF BREAD IT'S JUST THE SHAPE!!

All might: What debate did I walk in on now?

Jirou: Bread. That’s all you need to know.

_______

Shinsou: The stalk market is at an all time low and I’m loving it

Iida: IT IS 8:15 IN THE MORNING ON A TUESDAY CALM DOWN!

_______

All might: That’s all for today, enjoy your lunch.

Kaminari: What did we do in there?

Kirishima: Were you not paying attention or something?

Bakugo: When do they ever?

Kaminari : Never, I was sleeping now, do you have the notes or not?

_______

Yayorouzu: Hey I thought we agreed to look like a million bucks today

Jirou: I know but sweats were practically screaming my name

_______

Midoriya: AHH THERE'S A MOUSE!!!

Present Mic: Just leave it be it’s not doing anything

Kirishima: LEMME SEE IT!!

Present Mic: I said le- WHY ARE YOU HOLDING IT!! PUT IT DOWN!

Kirishima: Fine...

______

Midnight*giggles at phone*

Sero: I’ve seen teachers giggle to themselves before but it never ends well

Midnight: Well I don’t know what other teachers giggle to themselves about but my boyfriend just texted me that he was trying to find the dermatologist office but walked into an OBGYN instead by mistake

_______

Midoriya: The bank won’t give me a loan of 3 million dollars because I “won’t make it back”.

Tokoyami: Well then here's what you have to do. You have to fly to Colombia and then start selling c*caine.

Present Mic: Whoa, whoa, whoa what?

Tokoyami: Well for our algebra project we need to work with banks and their’s refuses to.

Present Mic: Ok and your first solution is to fly to south america and sell drugs?!

Tokoyami: Your’s isn’t?

_______

All might: OK so tell me about Snipe’s project

Whole class: *starts complaining and yelling about it*

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Mina: So all we do in his class is the project?

Asui: Yep pretty much.

Mina: Great. I’m just going to sit there and cry

Asui : That's the spirit.

_______

Ibara: Kendo put like 3 layers of sunscreen on and still got sunburnt.

Awase: It’s because She’s a ginger. I’ve never seen a tanned ginger and never will.

Monamoa: Guess you’ve never seen my dad.

testsutetsu: I mean that makes sense, but wait your dad’s a ginger? Kirishima you owe me money!

_______


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2 years ago

So while I was getting my haircut, the lady asked me if I had other plans for the day and I said:

“I’m just going to pick up the boy from daycare and then it’s date night.”

And the lady says “Oh! How old is he?”

“He’s three.”

“Mine too! Where are you registering him for kindergarten it’s such a hassle-”

And that’s when I realized I said “boy” and not “dog” because I always think of Charlie as “good boy” but this slip up has lead to a miscommunication.

The lady is now 6 minutes into a clearly needed rant about how unnecessarily complex shopping for schools is, esp when you have a neurodivergent child, so I can’t just tell her that Charlie is a dog because then she’ll feel awkward for unloading on me and she clearly has enough going on.

So the rest of the haircut became a game of “how much can I say about Charlie without revealing that he is not a human child?” And the answer is “enough to cover a half hour hair appointment, quite possibly several hours worth if I’m specific enough”


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