Redacted Pizza Guy - Tumblr Posts

Evil Guy be like

elo! Random thought my crackhead of a best friend got me stupid over, this is after I told my friend about redacted audio and my appreciation of the Pizza Guy. The next day he looks me in the eyes and tells me:

“The evil AU version of Guy is ‘Burger Guy’ the world needs to know”

We proceed to laugh for like 5 minutes. Yeah that’s all I need to say.

I pledge allegiance to the flag of the United States of America🤭

I couldn't choose one, so here are a few hehehh

-"because I want to make you squirm under the touch that was my fingers.. and the heat of my mouth.. and the weight of my tight, straining body flushed against yours... and then, at some point..... you can shampoo my hair, because that always feels nice :D"

-"Oh yeah you know I'm being serious now, I'm pulling out the big guns, I'm pronouncing the second 'e' in 'beloved'. Mhmm. This apology means business!"

-"ehh 'buy low', 'start low', what's the difference? You say 'tomato', I say 'iwannaputmyheadbetweenyourthighs', it's all semantics!" [laugh, hit, pain]

-"Just cuz I'm on the floor doesn't mean you get to kick me!! That's a whole other level of kinky ehhh" [more laughter and hits]

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Can't really blame us 🤷‍♀️

Erik: haha a recurring pizza delivery guy character!!! And his name is Guy because he's the pizza Guy!! Isn't that funny-

Redacted nation: FUCCKKKKK!!!!! LET ME FUCK HIM!!!!! RIGHT NOW!!!!!!! SEX!!!!!

I NEED HIM RN PLS

miss that fucking pizza guy so bad!!!!!!@@!(@,×&#*××>[

'Guy breaks' is so real tho.

Though I don't really want him getting caught up in the lore, I still crave some angst. It doesn't have to be something like a traumatic childhood, or having an abusive ex, or really anything too deep. I just think some hurt/comfort would be nice. Maybe them getting into a small argument and then talk about their feelings. Maybe one of them is insecure about something and the other reassures them. Tbh I just want to hear Guy be a little bit more serious, like in his confession audio.

But then again, I'll be happy with whatever Erik decides to do with Guy (I love him too much, I think it might be unhealthy)

gonna be so honest and mean no disrespect with this !!!

i kinda like the lack of ‘development’ with guy (which, tbf, isn’t a lack at all, we’re just used to a LOT of development with redacted)

i mean as someone who isn’t too involved with lore, i kinda just like not having to think too hard when listening to him

sure, more info about him would be nice, but not necessary, you know?

YESSSS MY THOUGHTS EXACTLYYY!! I just wanna pat his head while he complains :(

gonna be so honest and mean no disrespect with this !!!

i kinda like the lack of ‘development’ with guy (which, tbf, isn’t a lack at all, we’re just used to a LOT of development with redacted)

i mean as someone who isn’t too involved with lore, i kinda just like not having to think too hard when listening to him

sure, more info about him would be nice, but not necessary, you know?

just saw few confessions about guy

IF YOU DONT WANT TO LISTEN TO GUY THEN DONT?? YOU DONT HAVE TO INSULT HIM AND STUFF?? i too love lore but dont you think everything will be so exhausting to do if all the asmr just lore lore lore lore lore lore and lore? listen i do agree with people saying that guy need more flavor that guy need angst or reverse comfort audio

but sometimes when all the lore videos has been too much it's nice to take a break and listen to a nice chill audio from ollie and guy you know?

you dont have to insult him if you dont like him :(

Trying my best to not throw hands because it's your opinion and none of my business 😔

hehe lemme do this character sorter thing i wanna know who they think my favs are

Waow! Im so surprised! (Lie)

Vega watchu doin down there homie

The bottom three are so accurate tho 😭 Anton’s voice grosses me out, i hate James’ stupid little guts, and Guy is one of if not the most annoying character in the Redactedverse

I imagine that inside Guy's brain there's just that one kpop CapCut template with hearts and stars thing playing over and over again

This was so fun to do

Also it was so hard to pick between Guy and Lasko you can't even imagine

Credit to @definitelynuwonhere

And here's the template for anyone who wants to try as well

Honey HC

honey had one of those sleep headphones from when them, guy and kayla all lived together. they don’t use it anymore unless guy’s working the late shift and they’re sleepy.

guy hears a mans voice coming out of the shitty ass headphones and sees that his voicemails and voice messages have been put into an at least 4 hour long video and is now playing on honey’s phone.

he cried, or smiled. idk you choose 🤷‍♀️

Hypothetically what if guy died?

Something I've noticed is that I self insert everywere. Including redactedverse.

Like every single redacted listener is me, just in a different form. I don't care if their personality is my polar opposite.

Angel? Yep that's me. Honey? I mean in some cases, yeah. Darlin? Pffft of course..Baabe? Absolutely.

Oh yeah, remember when David proposed to Angel? Well yeah, he proposed to me so..

I'm sorry for Erik who took the time to hone in on every listener's attributes......but it's me 🤷‍♀️

Lasko smells like lavander. He uses lavender shampoo. I just feel it 🤷‍♀️🤷‍♀️

Also we know that Guy smells like pizza but I feel like after showers he smells....masculine. I can't really describe it but it smells like default mens shower gel and deodorant. A bit minty. He smells like how your dad would after showering

okay . im done playing with you bitches . what do the redacted boys smell like

i need to know this information

(asher smells like clean laundry and something sweet - not perfume but like a sweeter cologne)

Since everyone is doing this...Judge me based on my kins! From whom I kin the most to least

Guy

Angel

Asher

Cutie

Tag game!! Do this with your first audio and tag some moots!!

"Huh? 'Your chaotic loving brat boyfriend stole your hoodie'? Uh, sounds weird."

Fun fact: I found Guy's audio from an edit on tiktok and listened to it while walking home

Tagging: @miyaheestar @moronkyne @huxleaf @deezbignutz @zimix-whispers @solaireabortion @emilyyyts @dawnofiight @vividmilk and whoever wants to join!

"oh what's that? "vampire tends to your injuries"? ehhh maybe not"

Throwback to my first redacted related post 💔

WAIT I JUST CHECKED THE DATE THIS WAS OVER A YEAR AGO??????? I'VE BEEN IN THIS FANDOM FOR OVER A YEAR?????? IT FEELS LIKE IT'S BEEN MONTHS WHAT

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