It's So Weird When Other CDD Systems Get Shocked At Your Trauma. We've Talked About It With Other Systems

It's so weird when other CDD systems get shocked at your trauma. We've talked about it with other systems and the reply is usually "what the actual—"

That's a system saying that. You know, created by severe childhood trauma, system.

Is it really that bad that systems are astounded?

💕Positivity prime time! Share five things you love about yourself, four things you're excited about, OR three people you care deeply about and why. Pass this along to someone whose posts make you smile💕

Ooooh thanks for sending this 🥺

Hmmm, I’m gonna go with four things I’m excited about

1. My papers next semester: I’m doing a double major in mental health applications and psychological science. I can’t wait to figure out what I’m going to study (timetabling hasn’t opened yet) and what kind of assessments we’re looking at for next year! We’ve been waiting for so long to start study - becoming a psych has been a dream of ours for close on a decade lol

2. A few shows, movies and books that are due out soon: Heartstopper s3, Arcane s2, The Wild Robot, Lord of the Rings: Return of the King has a single showing in one of my local cinema… the next book in Laura Greenwood’s the apprentice of Anubis series is due out really soon, and Beth Crowley’s first novel The Have Not and Onyx Storm (book 3 of Rebecca Yarrow’s Fourth Wing series) are coming out in early 2025.. so we’re very excited for all of those. Whoohooo, new media!!

3. We get to share the DID based design project online really soon! Once it’s formerly handed in we can share it on here for all of you to see - it’s been a year since we started it, and it’s taken so much control not to post full designs on here.. but here is something we did for fun in the meantime

4. And finally, we have our testosterone screening appointment in a couple weeks time! Only been waiting for 5 years lol.

*sigh* just a friendly reminder that PluralKit attaches a unique code to your system that allows anyone to look up your system - and if you look up a system on discord using pk;system [code], gives a link to all of their public system data on PKs website, which for some of you includes information on triggers, sexuality, and other things that cyberbullies may misuse.

I have been messing around with the settings as much as possible and I cannot find a way to avoid this beyond privating all alters and all system info, which many users don't do.

Even with information privated, it still seems that PK will link your discord handle with your Pluralkit user if the unique code is plugged in.

Sharing as this seems to me like a breach of privacy at best, and dangerous at worst.

everyone claims to be an ally to the disabled community until

- it’s a high support needs autistic

- the symptoms can’t be romanticized and are gross

- someone else’s disability starts to affect their life

- it’s a condition that cannot be cured

- someone is intellectually disabled

- someone is female and disabled

- someone is queer and disabled or black/POC and disabled

- someone is a minor and disabled

- ambulatory wheelchair users exist

- part time mobility aid users exist

- the “hellen keller wasn’t real” discussion

- they’re called out on their ableism

- someone is semiverbal/nonverbal

- someone doesn’t understand boundaries or the law

- someone has a deaf accent

- someone misses a lot of school or doesn’t go to school

- someone doesn’t want their disease/disorder cured

- someone does want their disease/disorder cured

- age regression

- having to mask for someone’s genuine safety

- actually needing to listen to disabled people’s opinions instead of immediately forming their own

- not infantilizing disabled people

- when a disabled person struggles with hygiene

- they see a “useless” disability aid

- they don’t agree with a disabled persons lifestyle or opinions

- until they have to put in work to be an advocate and a real ally to the disabled community.

everyone is a disability ally until things get hard.

GOOD POST. LONG POST BUT GOOD POST.

This book- The Haunted Self is available online as a pdf if you know where to look :)

Why Alters Are All You, & The Formation Of DID

Tw for talk of abuse (implications to different types), trauma, unsafe caregivers, trauma responses, homophobia, and brief talk of death. We're talking about the formation of DID, childhood trauma, please be cautious if you continue.

Let's discuss what people say is the basics of Dissociative Identity Disorder, its formation. The current leading theory is the Theory of Structural Dissociation (ToSD). Yes, we still need to know more about this disorder, but this is the current leading theory and was written by Ellert R. Nijenhuis, Kathy Steele, and Onno Van Der Hart. They took some research, ideas, and words from other authors and researchers, added their research and ideas, mixed it all together and presented us with the ToSD in their book: The Haunted Self.

Now, there are plenty of problems with the theory, and I know that Hart and other researchers you see in this field haven't been the best people. However, it is currently the leading theory. Colin A Ross spoke about numerous problems with the theory, but he even states that this theory is a significant contribution. While yes, it isn't perfect, and any scientific theory can and should be constantly improved on, its pretty damn good. What I understood from reading Ross' response, the understanding it gives us of DID is good, the issue is when it addresses other disorders, or lack there of. I will state, before going onto my point of the post, that Ross mentions that there is confusion of what counts as an emotional part (EP). In the sense of, how differentiated does an EP need to be, to count as a separate dissociated state?

I don't want to go into that all today, because I'm not a professional and cannot confirm what would count, at least in Ross' eyes.

What I want to talk about, is what the ToSD does give us, and why it explains that all parts/alters are You.

Now, I know I will get a lot of hate for this. So all I'll say is that: I'm willing to discuss this matter further, however I will not tolerate any insults, threats, belittlement, or any other kinds of hate. If you are mature, I'm open to discussion.

The ToSD states that everyone is born with ego states. These states are in charge of meeting specific needs. A child needs love, affection, food, comfort, sleep, etc etc. If a child is able to dissociate to a high level, has a disorganised attachment to their primary caregiver (which is inherently traumatic), and experiences repeated childhood trauma, they can potentially develop DID.

If a child experiences trauma, their brain is going to do its absolute best to protect them. They may fight, flight, or freeze (especially if it is repeated). Maybe all three. That child may subconsciously think that if they were a different gender, or a different age, or maybe if they were stronger or scarier, they could prevent this from happening to them. Maybe they felt like they deserved this pain, that they're an awful monster, or just a toy or an animal to their abusers. Maybe they just refused to accept this was happening to them because if it did, they would be dead.

Their brain will do anything it can to try and prevent and explain this trauma.

They may try to seek help from caregivers, but remember, in the case of DID, that child will have some kind of disorganised attachment. That child will not feel safe enough to tell them about this trauma, or if they do, they aren't supported in the way they need to heal and process. Maybe their caregivers are the source of this trauma, they have already tried to tell them to stop.

Nothing is working, this child is essentially trapped.

So, like I said earlier, this child's subconscious is working on overdrive and trying its absolute best to survive this. Dissociation is a very complex and extraordinary coping mechanism.

So the child pushes away the trauma, dissociating so chronically they disconnect to everything happening, and themselves. This dissociation is keeping those different ego states separated, preventing from them integrating during childhood. Instead, this dissociation basically creates amnesiac barries between each ego state. If that dissociation wasn't there, those states would try to integrate, but because some experienced trauma, they cannot harmoniously coexist. This is the differentiation between ANP's and EP's. ANP's (apparently normal parts) are the parts that are in charge of daily living, they are disconnected from any trauma. EP's (emotional parts) are the parts that remember or are connected to different traumas. EP's dont have to be emotional, it simply is to refer to the parts that are connected to trauma.

Anyway, mini ramble aside. ANP's and EP's are separated from each other, they still are aiming to meet certain needs for the child/person now. That's why it is so helpful or common for systems to catagorise alters into roles. Some parts are simply trauma responses, some exist to make friendships and connections, some have very specific roles/needs they meet, some alters exist to soothe, or protect, or whatever. They are still dissociated parts, aiming to meet needs.

All alters are still dissociated from each other, and some may believe they are the only one there, or the "original" because they are an ANP or host. Again there is not an "original" because the full personality was never whole to begin with. You started with different ego states, and you still are different ego states (obviously alters have grown and developed (but still not fully)).

So with that being understood, lets address the title of this post. All alters are You. Thinking about everything I have addressed for far, all alters are dissociated from each other, so what do you mean there can be a "You"? Again, I'm not talking about an "original", I'm talking about all aspects of the Self that is being dissociated from.

I used to find this fact absolutely ridiculous and hurtful and dismissing. But after starting to learn more about this disorder, working on self validation, and starting on trauma processing, it has made it so much easier to understand.

I, Virgil, am a part of Clem and Skye. Clem and Skye are parts of me. And this is the same for all alters. We are all different ego states that are dissociated from each other, from the Self.

So, what happens if we all fuse? And no, I'm not saying that's the only way to heal, I'm just trying to put this in perspective. If we all fuse, we would be dissociating so much less, we would be fused ego states and we'd create a fully formed and developed personality. We are all parts, and if we fuse, we create a whole.

A whole that we are no longer dissociating from. We will be the whole Self, the whole "You". We will not be dissociating from each other.

I cannot express this enough, fusions happen when you no longer need alters to be separated, they can exist harmoniously, they share emotions and thoughts and feelings and they are not dissociated from each other. There is no memory amnesia, or identity amnesia between them.

Again to clarify, all alters are dissociated ego states that grow and develop, and then if you all fuse, that is when the Self is no longer dissociated from. You'll finally be a complete You.

Another thing I want to address is differing opinions of alters. Let's use another hypothetical. Let's say you have like five different alters that are all queer in some way, but you have five that are cisgender and straight. Two of those cishet alters are homophobic and transphobic. So, if you all fuse, what will you identify as? While I cannot say anything for certain, I can take a big guess and say that no matter what you identify as, you may not be homophobic/transphobic. In this hypothetical, I'm assuming those alters have those beliefs because of things they experienced growing up. Internalised homophobia and all that. As you process trauma and become more accepting of yourself, and you fuse, I would guess those parts are no longer dissociated from that queer identity, whatever that identity may be.

I hope this makes sense. While alters can and do grow outside of trauma, those foundations are shaped because of the experiences of the child. Age, gender, opinions, personality, species, and even sexuality, can all be based and rooted in that trauma and experiences.

Healing from that trauma means reconnecting with the Self, whatever that looks like for you. It may not be the singlet persona many systems use, it may not be the host, it may be something different than what you originally thought. But it will be You and it will be right. It will be the Self that you've finally reconnected with.

Anyway, I think I've rambled enough. TLDR: all alters are You, and if you fuse, you will reconnect with the Self that was originally being dissociated from.

small edit: it is okay if you aren’t ready to accept alters and trauma. but that doesn't change the fact that you're all dissociated parts ✌️

I'm not sure @the-atlas-sys

I think Octocon is a bit better in that there isn't a website to look at alter lists etc, but we haven't had very much personal experience with it (we got to importing alters from Simply Plural and gave up once it didn't bring our 60+ custom fields across 😅).

Anyone who's had experience with it, feel free to add on :)

*sigh* just a friendly reminder that PluralKit attaches a unique code to your system that allows anyone to look up your system - and if you look up a system on discord using pk;system [code], gives a link to all of their public system data on PKs website, which for some of you includes information on triggers, sexuality, and other things that cyberbullies may misuse.

I have been messing around with the settings as much as possible and I cannot find a way to avoid this beyond privating all alters and all system info, which many users don't do.

Even with information privated, it still seems that PK will link your discord handle with your Pluralkit user if the unique code is plugged in.

Sharing as this seems to me like a breach of privacy at best, and dangerous at worst.