I Was Once A Star.

I was once a star.

He made me burn.

Now I wanna burn down his house <3

Not actually.

I want to keep on burning.

It hurts.

It hurts so much.

I need someone, anyone, to love me.

Being unlovable hurts.

It's the pain of knowing that noone can ever love me the way I love them.

To love the way I do is to burn and scratch open my skin just to try and show you a part of me.

It's to always wait for something.

I actually didn't think about him today.

Which is funny and good I think.

But now that I do think about him again, I still miss him.

But it hurts less.

And I am less angry too.

Cried about him today again.

All the things he said, did he mean them?

Does he still mean them?

Can I ever stop wondering if he just lied to me the whole time or if he actually meant it?

What the fuck?

I want to talk with him.

I miss him.

I'm still lost in the way his arms made me feel safe.

I wish he would hold me like that again and not let go this time.

Remembering doesn't bring comfort, it only brings confusion.

When he says he's not good but he literally teaches me how to play guitar, kisses my scars, makes cute little Keychains, has a stuffie, kisses my nose and wore his hoodie so it would smell like him when he gave it to me.