40 posts
Deathmiser - Fishboy - Tumblr Blog
The fact that today is both the 30th anniversary of Kurt Cobain's death and the 50th anniversary of Carrie, Stephen King's first novel's release is quite perturbing to me, and I don't know why.
My little nefew: What happened to your arm?
Me: Well you see, when a car and a tree love each other very much...
This pain chart in the hospital where I was taken after my car accident is the funniest thing I've ever seen in a hospital
#1 looks like he's been having a nice day
#2 looks like he's being held at gunpoint and forced to smile
#3 looks like he's having flashbacks to the war
#4 looks like he's had the worst week of his life
#5 looks like he's 6 beers deep into a 10-hour binge drinking session and was just cut off by the second bartender of the night
And #6 looks like he's about to have a mental breakdown
I hate when I see people hating on Christianity. There's nothing wrong with the religion itself, only the people who practice it, and not even ALL of them are that bad. I was raised Baptist in Virginia, my parents are horrible, they're conservative boomers who think the world is going to end in the next ~15 years, they are the bad Christians. (They were good parents to me, and I love them to death, I just have to remember that they are kind of horrible.) I hold true to a lot of the Christian beliefs I was brought up on, but I also understand that much of the Bible was translated from Hebrew, an extremely complex language that most people who actually practice Christianity don't even speak anymore, as well as Greek, and even Aramaic. So a lot of the transitions used by my parents are flawed. (They're NKJV elitists) for instance, the infamous verse that has been used by Christians for years to justify homophobia, Leviticus 18:22, "You shall not lie with man as you do a woman, it is an abomination." Now, in the NKJV translation, that's how it is, but several translations read it as "You shall not lie with BOY as you do a woman, it is an abomination." Now I don't speak Hebrew, but based on the other various verses talking about how the whole premise of Christianity is acceptance and love I would assume that the latter is the more straightforward translation. (This whole thing gets so much more complicated when you get into other versions of Christianity and their Bible, like Russian Orthodox, which is translated from Hebrew/Greek/Aramaic into Latin into Russian, then I would also have to translate that into English if I wanted to read it.) There are countless other small translation differences that make up the different sects of Christianity, as well as interpretation discrepancies (like how Roman Orthodox and Greek Orthodox separated) but that is the most well-known. Anyways, all this to say that while the people who practice it may be a bit on the bonkers side, it's mostly due to a language barrier, and the religion itself is actually very pro diversity. I myself am Christian, but I don't associate with any specific sect of the religion, I used it more as a template to build my moral beliefs upon. So love yourself, God created ALL OF US equally and in his image. It doesn't matter what color your skin is, what's in your pants, what you want to be in your pants, who you want to be in your pants, or what you believe to be true, so long as you love everyone the same, you will go to heaven, whatever version you Believe in. And don't worry, all the assholes who think they're better than others because of one aspect or another will burn in hell. 🥰🥰🥰
So yesterday I wrapped my car around a tree. (Don't worry, I just broke my wrist and ring finger) and I did so while Terminus El Dorado by Ted Nugent was playing. That's right, the song about a girl who dies in a car crash.
This is him, this is the man I aspire to be! Genius grumpy old cat dude who always looks like he's about to disembowel someone.
Maybe if companies put as much effort into their games as we do into ignoring their ads, they wouldn't HAVE to create fake mobile game ads to get people to play their games
hey i'm free later if you wanna go insane together or something
The existence of real estate implies the existence of a much more affordable, much less painstaking to buy fake estate.
D&D character idea:
A druid who takes mushrooms, and only turns into fucked-up version of animals they see on mushrooms. Like a rainbow bear that's dripping rainbow ooze.
You would have to find a DM willing to let you do that though (although I imagine it as more of a flavor thing that has no effect on the actual strength and gameplay).
Ok, so in hindsight, "semi-erotic" was an understatement.
Tank Girl doesn't get enough love imo, it was made in 1995 and adapted from a comic book series, it has Lori Petty, Naomi Watts, Ice-T (who also did some of the music), Malcom McDowell, and Iggy Pop. The soundtrack is phenomenal, it has music from Joan Jett, Devo (their cover of their own song, Girl U Want is incredible), the magnificent bastards, Bush, Hole, and Veruca Salt. It's zainey, funny, semi-erotic, and the animated segments are phenomenal and hold up to this day. Everything about it is great. It's exactly what the MCU is trying to be these days.
Tank Girl doesn't get enough love imo, it was made in 1995 and adapted from a comic book series, it has Lori Petty, Naomi Watts, Ice-T (who also did some of the music), Malcom McDowell, and Iggy Pop. The soundtrack is phenomenal, it has music from Joan Jett, Devo (their cover of their own song, Girl U Want is incredible), the magnificent bastards, Bush, Hole, and Veruca Salt. It's zainey, funny, semi-erotic, and the animated segments are phenomenal and hold up to this day. Everything about it is great. It's exactly what the MCU is trying to be these days.
How the fuck are you supposed to greet someone at 12:00? "Good Noon?" "Good Day?" It's like a whole hour of the day that you can't say good morning or good afternoon.
Tumblr should add a politics filter. I don't want to know what one shitty old dude is saying about another shitty old dude, I just want to laugh at memes and look at cat pics.
I made the cinnamon toast crunch mascots as D&D enemies.
And now you have it. (I made it when I first started playing DnD, so sorry it's a bit wonky)
Bro, why does life have to be so hard? Like dawg I just wanna listen to my King Crimson and smoke a pipe, wachu mean I gotta 'eat healthy' and 'shower daily'?!? Is my body really that much of a wimp? Homey just use the insane amount of American fat stored in your gut for nutrients.
Bedbugs are great because for the eight or so years of your life, you are told these things exist by your parents, then as an older kid, you think they don't exist because you think that statement "Don't Let the bed bugs bite" was just something people said, but THEN, you come to learn that they ARE real and you gaslit yourself into thinking they weren't based on the premise you were smart enough to decipher a metaphor. And then as soon as you finally learn they're real, you have an encounter with them because irony is a bitch.
Yeah sanity is cool but have you ever stared into the abyss? Have you ever gotten so fucked up that you feel your body turning into pixels and see yourself as turning into an 8-bit video game character? Have you ever gotten so stupid high you thought I'd you took off a headband it would stain your forehead? Have you ever thought you were in your own house and called for your dog cause you wanted to snuggle when in reality you were on the subway?
Things we need to bring back that have faded from popularity for no reason:
The term 'Hark'
Cane swords
The name 'Zebulon'
4-pace duels to the death
Chainsaws being used for giving birth
Doctors having to ask before making a woman infertile (still legal in the US, look it up)
Gladiatorial combat as a public event
Pokemon Go
Just heard someone refer to the Italian language as "Garlic Flavored Spanish" and honestly idk how to feel about that.