I Made These And I'm Quite Pleased With How They Turned Out. I'm Always A Little Surprised When I Can

I made these and I'm quite pleased with how they turned out. I'm always a little surprised when I can do things, since he said I can't do anything right.

Turns out, he's wrong.

Here is to another year of pumpkin carving and another year of healing. Happy Halloween friends.

I never thought I'd have to write a post like this, but here we are.

If your "feminism" excludes anyone or your definition of woman is reduced to a series of dna check marks, we're not like-minded.

I'm not interested in discourse and I will shut that down if it begins. So y'all can keep it to yourself.

But if you're using any of my posts to make a point even in that ball park, you're barking up the wrong tree. And i will tell you so - the politeness of which will vary depending on the kind of day I'm having and the severity of your infraction.

Just something to think about before you hit reblog.

Him: YOU ARE SUCH A STUPID LAZY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK SHOULD I LET YOU BE HERE? I'VE TOLD YOU A THOUSAND TIMES. THIS PLACE IS SO FUCKING FILTHY. I CAN'T EVEN INVITE SOMEONE OVER. IT'S EMBARRASSING. JUST BECAUSE YOU GREW UP IN FILTH WITH YOUR FUCKING PARENTS DOESN'T MEAN YOU STAY THAT WAY. I KEEP FUCKING TRYING TO FIX YOU BUT YOU'RE SO FUCKING USELESS AND HOPELESS.

Me: *quietly tends to the plate and glass in the sink that spawned this outburst*

Him: *glaring at me*

Me: *makes eye contact quickly to reassure him that I am not ignoring him (because he really REALLY doesn't like that) but not long enough to encourage a smack to the face or more yelling*

Him: what?

Me: *smiles and shakes head*

Him: What? You don't want to talk to me? Fine. Fuck this. *Goes to the basement to play games for 6 hours*

Me: *exhales silently*

Still

Fifteen years later.  I don’t really remember who I was before I met him.  

Sufficient time has passed and I feel calm enough to write about my last days on my job. 

My resignation letter detailed my last shift as October 22, as well as days I would be taking for my liues.  I also gave him a schedule for my last 4 weeks.  He came up to me on the Thursday (21) and said “You’re done on the 7th, right?”  To which I replied that no, Friday was to be my last day.

He proceeded to tell me that the lieu days would not be paid out, that he needed two more days from me - one the one week, and one the following.  That I had no choice.  He was frantic - clearly he needed to get things from me and was too foolish to set aside time for it. Taken aback, I said I would look into it.

The following day he sends me an email where he wrote ON MY RESIGNATION LETTER that I had agreed to stay longer.  This was the last straw. No.  So I sent a response to him and his boss, stating that I had not agreed to stay and that I was to be paid out as I had requested.

He flies up to my office 15 minutes later stating I had it wrong and he was offering me those two days as an option. So I could be paid out for a full two weeks.  It was for my benefit that he so graciously offered me that option.  He then told me that he  “didn’t know what goes through [my] head sometimes” and then walked out of my office.

I remember what gaslighting feels like.  If there was any doubt in my decision prior to this, it was gone completely from that moment on.

Self doubt, my old friend.

victims of abuse be like, this person has now made me cry myself to sleep about 30 times, i have flashbacks of things they’ve done and said to me, they know how to hit me right in my worst insecurity and guilt so i feel horrible for days and months, their comments make me feel worthless and like i shouldn’t even be alive, and being around them makes me feel small and meaningless and sometimes suicidal but maybe that’s just me, maybe they’re not abusive? i have to give them benefit of the doubt, what if i’m not justified to kick them out of my life?