Im At A Bit Of A Loss For What To Do.

I’m at a bit of a loss for what to do.

For Canadian income tax preparation you are issued a document from each of your employers called a T4.  This document summarizes your income from that employer for the year, plus other things like your employer and government pension contributions, gov’t benefit deductions, income tax paid to date, etc.

One of my (past) employers last year, despite multiple emails, failed to change my home address.  So, guess where the damn thing went. 

Good news:  I don’t need this thing - employers not only have to send it to their employees, they have to send a copy to Canada Revenue which makes all your tax documents available to you online.

Bad news:  This document has lots of juicy personal information that identity thefts just love like my social insurance number (My gov’t issued ID number) and full name. Safe to say in someone’s vindictive hands, this document can cause me some serious headaches down the road.

I’m sure he feels he has me by the proverbial balls, here.  What a perfect way to force me to speak to him.  Here are my options so far as I can see:

1. Not respond: Run the risk of him posing my info on the likes of reddit or 4chan. 

2. Respond by email: Ask him to shred it.  Run the risk of him not doing so and posting my info on the likes of reddit or 4chan anyway. Also spark correspondence back and forth that could could and likely would turn ugly. 

3. Respond by email: Ask him to return to sender which would allow me to confirm with my previous employer that the document was returned unopened. Run the risk of him not doing so and posting my info on the likes of reddit or 4chan anyway. Also spark correspondence back and forth that could and likely would turn ugly.

4. Respond by email: Force a family member to speak to him and pick up the document.  Oh man, I can just see the walls of text I’d receive after that “humiliation”...

5. Respond by email:  Set up a time to pick up said document from him myself.  Possible scene. Possible assault.  Possible murder.  Likely traumatizing.  Certainly my least favourite option, but the only way I can ensure I get it back.

Any words of wisdom? Thoughts?

P.S. He’s not blocked, it’s just just been almost two months since I’ve responded. 

Bad day

I have had waves of sympathy for him today.  I don’t want it, but it’s happening.  I feel guilty and sad.  And I miss him.  I just want to make him food and make sure he’s ok.

In case you are worried, that’s not going to happen.  It’s just on my mind.

Say g’bye to sleep this week.

He contacted one of my friends today.

I haven’t gotten back to him about the tax document yet (yeah, I procrastinated/avoided/ whatever you want to call it). He messaged one of the few friends of mine that he was fairly well acquainted with.

She doesn’t know about the abuse.  I really do adore her, but she lives out of town and talking about it never seemed like the right time.  Plus, she’s a confident, successful, strong and I really admire her; I’ll admit that I can feel intimidated by her, and I’m not sure she’d understand. 

Though I believe she understands him a little more after his escapade tonight.

Words matter to him.  She told him that I wasn’t responding because this was a busy time of year for me and because I was “moving on.” 

We all knew where this was going. 

So, being reasonable, she told him to mail it to me.  He responded that he’s going to drop it off. Can’t wait to see him at the door.  :D 

Did you know that he had the nerve to tell her that he was worried about me?

Yesterday

I saw a lawyer this week as he has been hoarding some things that are mine and he agreed to give me.  There’s some money involved.

We had a separation agreement that I absolutely signed under duress.  If I signed, he would work toward taking me back and my money wouldn’t be wasted.  If I did not, he would sell the house for next to nothing, give me as little as he could (nothing if possible), ruin my reputation and disappear. Keep in mind this was at the beginning when I was inconsolable with guilt after what he’d caught me doing.  

So he got everything.  However we made an agreement on a few items, the ones he’s currently holding hostage.

The lawyer estimates my fight to cost thousands in legal and court fees - likely more than the value of the things. She also thinks my claim for the stuff is shaky at best in terms of the law as well.  So I could spend a whole lot of money and still not have them in the end.

In short, I’m fucked.

The truth - a realization

I was amazing in bed because I was hellbent on getting you off quick and the hell off of me.

Update

He dropped it off in my mailbox last night after he was done work ( 4am). He called me at that time but my ringer was off. He didn't leave a message. I can't say I'm disappointed by this anticlimactic end, and I'm breathing a sigh of relief.

I remained steadfast in my resolve and did not respond despite all the baiting. Despite the texts that filled me with rage. Despite the voicemails that broke my heart. I feel like I've won.

So why do I also feel like absolute garbage?