[texting]

[texting]

peter: *voice message*

tony: i’m busy. is this urgent?

peter: don’t worry, you can listen to it later

[later]

tony: *presses play*

peter’s voice message: THERE’S A FIRE—

bucky: can i ask you a question?

sam: shoot

bucky: *shoots the ceiling*

bucky: can i ask my question now?

tony, talking about his dad: you know where he was on most of my birthdays?

tony: a little place that rhymes with “not there”

peter:

peter: …times square?

peter: hey, how do you ask a glass of water what it’s doing?

mj: a glass of water is an inanimate object. therefore, it's incapable of having a thought process or understanding basic human language

peter:

peter: water you doing?

[on the phone]

tony: hey, i can still pick whatever suit i like for the wedding, right?

pepper: yeah, as long as it’s black, why?

tony, wearing the iron man suit: no reason

peter: okay, i have a plan

mj: i hope it turns out better than your plan to cook rice in your stomach by eating raw rice and then drinking boiling water