Lantanaatenta - 𖤐LANTANA𖤐

I haven’t had a visual hallucination since like a decade and a half, but I did today :( Right before taking a nap I saw my wall had kid’s handwriting made with pen and pencil, then it was just pencil and then they looked erased but still there depending on the lighting I was looking at the wall from :( I feel so dumb writing this cause I didn’t notice it was a hallucination when it obviously was :( I know that I was having a psychotic episode and ofc I was out of myself, but as a kid there was a point when I knew when I was having a hallucination or not :( so yeah this is the sad story of today I guess

And I was preparing to wake up angry at my cousin for letting her kids do whatever they want all the time, but I woke up with a normal wall 😭🔫

How tf do I live with a disgusting family secret that was revealed to me two days ago? I will sue this family member asap, but what can I do to live sanely while he’s still living freely?

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO THE LONELIEST GIRLBLOGGER ON EARTH !

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The fact that I’m stuck cause everything was worse 😭

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I find comfort

I find comfort in thinking about what I want to do

I find comfort in the unknown, and not in a mystic exciting way

I find comfort in the fact that good things might happen

But if I try them

I have the belief that they won’t

So I find comfort in daydreaming and hope