You Know Something Is Wrong When One Of The Things That Calms You Down Is Looking At Selfharm Photos....

You know something is wrong when one of the things that calms you down is looking at selfharm photos....

That's how I deal with stress...it works

⚠️ Tw/sh talk

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That moment when you cut and feel nothing....you just cut to see the blood ...

I missed that and I'm happy that I came back to this state....no pain just blood

I'm slowly coming back to the place where I was before anyone was taking care of me...by anyone I mean psychologist and psychiatrist

And I like it...I miss that times when I had nothing to lose....when I was just sad and that was all that mattered... when I could fall into my darkness and be even more nothing...when I could only think about different ways to end my life...when I cut without being scared that someone will see or someone will ask...

I'll be there soon, I promise...

I was watching kdrama "Good Doctor" with my mum and there was a scalpel on the screen...my mum looked at me and said:

- I hope you don't use things like this on yourself

And I was like:

- Mum, I don't even have one.

But there was also me thinking about the scalpel and knife I just ordered....

All my fucking life my "parents" have been saying that we need to help others....

Okay, I got it.... let's help others....

And today, when I sent my classmate photos of homework they are so shocked and mad that I did that....

Ofc they cursed me a bit...called me a liar and some other things....

Funny thing ...