Actually I Think I Might Be A Killer....

Actually I think I might be a killer....

Not like I've killed someone already, no I haven't

But like....I might be good at that ... And I might like it....

Just my thoughts

Don't mind me ...

It's another level of pretending....

Cutting then pretending everything's fine is another kind of pain..

When you had cut yesterday evening and next day in the morning you had volleyball match.....

Very clever move ngl

So you know....my hands and legs are fucking barcode and I wear long sleeves....but it's warm so I decided to wear shorts but still long sleeves....

and my mum was 'why aren't you wearing short sleeves'

I said nothing.

And when I was doing the dishes she rolled up my sleeve and saw what she saw....scars. And she was 'really ?'

Then she left the kitchen because she was working in the meantime....and when I went upstairs to give her coffee she asked about my cuts .... 'when ? Why ? You really can't stop ? You know you won't be able to hide it. Now you're doing it somehow but summer is coming and you'll have to wear short sleeves'....

well....nice.... that's funny attitude

As a kid I was afraid of darkness....

You know, kinda normal thing for a kid to ask parents to leave the light on or an open door....

The darkness was my enemy...

And now ?

I find comfort in darkness....

She is like a friend....

The closest one

Warm

Always keeps your secrets

The only one you need

She helps me hide my feelings, my problems

She pats my back when I'm tired and says:

"You got this, little one. You're not alone."

Whenever I'm about to break down, she sits besides me and whispers:

"Why not let it go ? Let it all go...cry for me."

She wipes my tears.

She covers me with her warm, fluffy, black blanket inside which I feel so save....I feel hidden

She is my friend, my sister, my family and my lover....she is my everything....

And to think....she was my enemy at first....

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