Not The Lined Paper

Not the lined paper 😭

IM NOT SICK ENOUGH

IM NOT BAD ENOUGH

I NEED TO GET WORSE

I NEED TO BE MORE SICK

That night

That night you walked a few feet away from the others, knowing I would follow you

Knowing when I did we would be entirely alone

Just the two of us

I don't remember what we talked about

All I can remember is the feeling of your lips on mine

You kissed me that night

You kissed me so out of the blue

So out of nowhere

With such a hunger and need like you couldn't stop yourself from doing it

My eyes closed as our lips collided for the first time in months as if no time had passed

It all happened so fast I could feel my eyes widen in surprise when you pulled away

The shock that filled my body when you took the opportunity to kiss me

Not knowing how I'd react

And still doing it anyway

As if you would never get another chance

I could feel the involuntary smile too

The same one that appears everytime I replay that night

I replay it more than I'd ever admit

I can't get it out of my head and I probably blush every damn time

The night you kissed me

The memory repeats itself over and over

My mind went completely blank and I just looked at you

You told me I was blushing

I told you that it was too dark for you to tell if I was

I wonder if you knew I wanted to kiss you

I wonder if you knew I thought about doing it the entire time we were together that night

How badly I wanted to

I was too scared to do it

But you weren't

You let the love you had for me bubble over

And suddenly it didn't matter if it was wrong

Because how could it be wrong

When it felt so right