Something New?

something new?

how did we let it all go?

it's not like it slipped away unnoticed

i watched it start to tear

seams started to rip

one by one

here and there

then before long

we were hanging on by a thread

then we weren't

and it felt like you wouldn't notice

nor care

if i were alive or dead

after a while

i handed you a new needle and thread

you pierced through my skin

i winced and watched it bleed as you

passed it back

it was painful

but it was a start

you're back now

but it'll never be the same

as it once was

but maybe

we can start something new?

-i

untitled

you watched me grow up

so i could watch you grow old

-i

cement sadness

sadness sits like cement in my throat

with no way out

nothing can dissolve it

one day i'll drown on it

as it seeps into my lungs

-i

rot

why are you still here?

like maggots gnawing at my skull

like rot spreading in my brain

lingering like the smell of death

fermenting in my thoughts

thoughts that are tainted and turned

by your presence

you're like a crippled limb

ive been trying to amputate

sawing and pulling

severing muscle and tendons

over and over

but you're still attached

frustration chokes me

and sadness blinds me

im tired of this

-i

always you

it's always been you

always

you used to know me

through and through

-i

condensation

my head is surrounded by fog

my hair is damp

my ears are full of condensation

my vision is blurry and impaired

i try to hear you

but its muffled

i try to see you

but its dark

maybe a torch?

no.

the light refracts off every droplet

and blinds me further

my lips are turning blue

my teeth are chattering

my eyelids feel heavy

i can feel my own hands grasping my ribs

holding myself as tight and close as i can

the chill overpowers any heat i had

i call out your name

but i cant hear my own voice

so how could you?

-i