Late Night Poetry - Tumblr Posts
they all say
he didn't mean it
she didn't mean it
they didn't mean it
but what if they did
i see you
are you staring at me?
what do you see?
messy hair
tired eyes
scratchy handwriting
do you really see me?
i have scars on my arms
cuts on my wrists
scrapes running down my ankles
do you see that?
or do you see a mess
a failure
these halls aren't built to hold me
they're not built for any of us
it's not built for any of us
but we're the ones struggling, aren't we?
we're the only ones.
do you notice it?
they won't hold us down.
they will never hold us down.
rot
why are you still here?
like maggots gnawing at my skull
like rot spreading in my brain
lingering like the smell of death
fermenting in my thoughts
thoughts that are tainted and turned
by your presence
you're like a crippled limb
ive been trying to amputate
sawing and pulling
severing muscle and tendons
over and over
but you're still attached
frustration chokes me
and sadness blinds me
im tired of this
-i
hope
hope is such a unique feeling
it flows all throughout you
slipping into every crevice and gap
hope can be a fire
that burns in the hearts
of those who believe
mass hope is near impossible to kill
individual hope is easier to dismantle
but not if they are stubborn
or determined
or a fighter
hope can and will live on
it is contagious
-i
cement sadness
sadness sits like cement in my throat
with no way out
nothing can dissolve it
one day i'll drown on it
as it seeps into my lungs
-i
blind trust
if i were to find your hands
over my eyes
i would lean into them slightly
trusting you fully
completely
and blindly
-i
always you
it's always been you
always
you used to know me
through and through
-i
untitled
the weight of my exhaustion is suffocating
-i
trying
i'm trying so hard
my steps are slowing
my chest is tight
my arms are heavy
the world is blurred and foggy
i'm still going
i'm still trying
i promise i'm trying
one foot infront of the other
the rhythm is steady
and declining
shallow breaths
clutching my shirt
the corners are going dark
i'm almost there
i'm still going
i'm still trying
i promise i'm still trying
one more step
just one more
keep going
for him
keep trying
for him
you promised
him
-i
something new?
how did we let it all go?
it's not like it slipped away unnoticed
i watched it start to tear
seams started to rip
one by one
here and there
then before long
we were hanging on by a thread
then we weren't
and it felt like you wouldn't notice
nor care
if i were alive or dead
after a while
i handed you a new needle and thread
you pierced through my skin
i winced and watched it bleed as you
passed it back
it was painful
but it was a start
you're back now
but it'll never be the same
as it once was
but maybe
we can start something new?
-i
untitled
you watched me grow up
so i could watch you grow old
-i
fear the future
i fear the future
i fear what it holds for me
if my past self knew what i know
he would fear the future as much as i do
-i
nostalgia
nostalgia hits me
like a punch to the chest
right in the centre
winding me
causing me to double over
it makes me vulnerable
-i
sleep
i'm so tired
exhausted even
it's visible on my face
it's audible in my voice
the temptation of
sleeps warm embrace
haunts me
relentlessly following
until i give in
-i
(prompt by @atorturedpoetsquill , apologies it's a bit late, also i'm not entirely sure how these work so im just going to leave it as is, with the optional prompts for anyone - autumn, hugs, melting)
stinging nettles
the nettles remind me
of a self inflicted sting
thinking about it
makes my head hurt
and my ears ring
-i
it means nothing
the british summer is warm
someone is mowing their lawn
kids are playing on a trampoline
squealing with joy and shouting at eachother
while i lay, cold and pale, inside
with tears in my eyes and stars in my soul
-i
light
candlelight casts soft shadows
moonlight caresses everything it touches
sunlight warms the souls it reaches
torchlight is harsh like the truth
lamplight is homely and reassuring
room light is blunt and unflattering but honest
your light is comfortable and constant, forever safe
-i
loss
i'm teetering on the edge
of loss
the claw marks
from my desperation
are growing
as it all slips further away
the pressure in my head
from my tears
is growing
as i continue to sob uncontrollably
the exhaustion
from it all
is growing, and creeping up on me
as i run from it as fast as my legs will carry me
soon i will fall
off the edge
and lose it all
-i
The night is long
the night is long
and i am stuck
slowly wandering
down the dark corridors
of my mind
-i
love
love doesn't have to be romantic
my greatest love is platonic
default is familial
least known to me is romantic
chosen family love is so strong
platonic and familial hand in hand
it completely envelopes you
when you're with them.
they are everything.
-i
(dedicated to my friends who know nothing of this account, i love you guys.)
untitled
my soul is wearing thin in places
like a pair of well worn socks
-i